Liebesträume
by aranea-hi-ghwind
Summary: "The Goddess pitied mortals, destined as they were to die, and so She deigned to intervene in the hour of their greatest peril." How much would you give up in order to save the one you loved? [rating change considered!]
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: I just really wanted to write angst. I'm still working on the upcoming Across the Universe chapter so, look forward to that but, for now: ANGST.**

 **Warning: Character Death ;-;**

Enjoy~

* * *

 _Lightning could've laughed at the horribly perfect timing the rain had as it poured down her face, mixing in with the warm tears streaming down her cold cheeks. Swords and lances clashing, shouts of soldiers, and gunshots echoing seemed background noise to the woman; if a blade had pierced right through her chest, she would not feel a damn thing. The man in her arms, bleeding to death, was already breaking her heart. One gloved hand found itself behind his head and the other trembling to staunch the wound in his side. The ex-Sergeant ignored her own cuts and wounds, more concerned with the life in her arms. Even as the warm blood seeped through her fingers and clothes, she was not convinced he was going to leave her._

 _Noctis Lucis Caelum was too stubborn to die on her. He was too stubborn to leave her all alone in a world where she didn't belong. He'd promised her..._

 _"C'mon, you stupid Prince...you can't die," Lightning's voice held its firm tone but, even she knew it would break at any moment. His eyes had already closed and there were no final words, no last minute confessions...he was just fading away. He was already so cold, and she could feel the blood flow slowing, his heart slowing._

 _Her blue eyes searched around the field as she began to rock back and forth. She couldn't lose Noctis like she'd lost Serah. Like she'd lost her parents. Like she'd lost her home. "Noct, please...you're breaking my heart." And then her voice cracked, tears were lost in the rainfall on his serene face, "P-please, you promised!"_

 _She was startled when his hand had found itself resting on her's—the one, futilely pressing on his wound—and he gripped it with as much strength as he must've had left. Lightning shifted, "Noctis, don't leave me alone..." Lightning had felt the pressure on her hand disappear. "You can't die like this, idiot! You can't—you can't..." A sob ripped through her throat and even the battle raging on and the lightning dancing in the sky was not enough to pull her from his side. "You deserve to save your people, you deserve to grow old with Luna, you deserve to see your friends again, you deserve so much more than this, Noctis...I'm sorry..."_

 _The pink haired warrior clutched at the lifeless man in her arms, bringing his body to her chest. She wept into the night sky and cursed every god she knew. Wishes and pleads of bargaining flew from her lips, begging for him to return no matter the cost. One last screaming plea to any God, any deity, any spirit ripped up into the air like a thunderclap and all she saw was darkness._

* * *

When Noctis's eyes fluttered open all he could remember was pink hair over him and the defeated look on its bearer's face. He jerked up at the thought before wincing. He clutched at his side, meeting with bandages and sharp pains in his abdomen.

"Noct! You're awake!" He glanced to his side and found the unmistakeable mess of blonde hair atop his best friend's head. Prompto scrambled out of a chair he'd been dozing off in and eagerly jumped onto Noctis's bedside. He was fighting the urge to throw him into a bear hug but, Ignis would rip him a new ass if he had further injured the Prince. So, he settled for gripped his hand and donning the brightest of smiles. "Are you okay? You've been out for a whole week and Iggy was sure you were gonna be out for much longer but—"

"Prompto."

The blonde halted in the middle of his sentence and gave Noctis a questioning look. The dark haired male looked far too serious and unlike himself. "Yeah?"

"Did we...win?" He'd gulped, afraid that his men had to retreat when he'd fallen in the battle. Prompto's face dropped for a millisecond and his hand retreated into his lap to toy with the ends of his gloves. Prompto rarely acted like a somber child and when he did it was usually because he was pouring about something trivial. The sudden change on his friend's face concerned the Prince to no end and he immediately assumed the worst. His fists clenched in frustration.

Prompto heaved another sigh before throwing his hand onto Noctis's shoulder, "I'm afraid...we didn't...the Chocobotrotters just couldn't score past those Leviathans in the final quarter of the game," he finished up with a smirk and Noctis met his blue eyes with a frown. He roughly shoved Prompto's hand off of him. The gunner laughed at his own childish antics. "Oh, c'mon, Noct, I was just lightening the mood up!"

"Can we just be serious for a minute, Prompto?"

Prompto pouted and jumped up to his feet. His hands made there home behind his head as he came around the foot of Noctis's bed, "Ah, you don't need to worry about it anymore, Noct."

Noctis readjusted, painfully so, and winced out, "I can't stop worrying until you give me a reason not to."

Turning on his heel, Prompto looked out the window not too far from the bed, and scrunched his nose in thought. "We managed to get those Imperial bastards on the defense and on the run."

A weight lifted off the Prince's shoulders. It'd been months and months of constant defensive tactics and he was growing restless these days. If they could just push the Imperial forces back so Lucis could regroup and rethink another strategy to decimate the Imperial army then, they could end this stupid war. Hearing that their months of hard work and planning were finally paying off was the best thing he could've heard. "Good," he laid his head back onto the wall behind the bed. "We're closer to ending this war."

"Yup, yup, yup! Really, though, if Lightning hadn't shown up, I don't how much longer Lucis could've lasted on the defense."

"Lightning..." Noctis let the syllables roll off his tongue and die under his breath.

Prompto snapped his head towards the bedridden man, eyes wide with shock. "Oh! Right! She doesn't know your awake—actually no one knows...I should let them know. She's gonna be so happy. Ah, man, Iggy, too! I'll be back, Noct, okay?" Prompto rambled on and on and scurried out the door, leaving Noctis alone in his thoughts.

Rubbing his eyes, Noctis couldn't help but feel tired. A whole week had passed right by and he wasn't there to quell the swirling questions in his people and his men. After he could walk, he would address them publicly—it was the least he could offer after months of battles and war. Lucis could finally have breathing room away from the oppressive forces of the Imperials. Noctis might actually get a full night's rest. (As if a week long coma wasn't enough.)

* * *

Prompto barreled in with practically everyone and their mothers, excitably announcing that the Prince Noctis had awoken from his slumber with flourishes and all. "See! Like I said!"

Ignis pushed past the obnoxiously boisterous blonde and settled himself at the side of Noctis's bed. "How are you feeling, Your Highness? Nauseous? Hungry? Fatigued? Overwhelmed?"

"Yeah, a bit of all that."

"I'll see to it that a meal is prepared immediately, Your Highness."

Noctis nodded, "Thanks, Ignis."

Gladiolus had Prompto in a headlock now, telling him to pipe down. All Noctis received from him was a curt head nod and a gruff, "Sleeping Beauty's looking pretty rough."

Noctis's eyes scanned the rest of the room, he passed over Gladio and Prompto, the doctors and nurse were there, and—"Noctis..." His eyes locked back onto cerulean ones accompanied by rose-colored hair. The smallest of smiles tugged at the corners of Lightning's lips. "You're awake."

"Yeah, I am," he spoke, quiet, voice wavering with uncertainty. The room had noticeably hushed itself and it was as if all eyes had been directed onto their exchange, watching tentatively.

Her hands were resting on the end of the footboard and, Lightning thanked herself for placing them there for she would not be able to hold back any longer. It was unlike her character to want to fling herself into the arms of another and bury her face in their chest but, she'd only wanted to do that since she'd walked in the room. When Prompto had came panting around the corner and into the training hall, she'd dropped everything just to see Noctis.

It was unbecoming of her own self-control to want to kiss him senselessly after almost losing him so suddenly but, she could try to resist the urge. Lightning had too much on her own conscious to act on such selfish impulses and she decided to put a barrier between them.

And the way he was looking at her was none too accepting. She felt nervous like a teenager awaiting judgement from their parents—a feeling she had not experienced in years.

"I'm sorry."

Her lips fell and parted, her voice a calm tone, "What're you apologizing for?"

Noctis swallowed thickly. He wasn't trying to be rude and with as best of an effort as he could manage, he admitted, "I-I don't know who you are."

* * *

 **End Note: Yikes. Cliche as hell but, I needed some of this angst. Drop me a review, favorite or just wait patiently for the next installment, anything is good, really.**

 **I hope it's not too bad...**

 **until next time. Happy holidays!**

 **-curry-san**

P.S: Totally follow me on tumblr at **capitanalpaca** I wanna talk to everybody about FFXV tbh and I'll follow y'all back because why the heck wouldn't I?


	2. White Cyclamen

****Oh no, I watched _The Painted Veil_ again and I got the angst bug again. If you haven't seen that movie yet, you should. It's amazing. Thanks to those of you who've reviewed! I'm so sorry about how this story is gonna be. I just can't stop writing sad stories.****

* * *

It came as quite a shock to most of the people close to him when Noctis asked if he could talk a walk outside. Of course, they had a guard and a nurse trailing his movements but, as long as he wasn't in that stuffy room, he was glad. He'd never been so restless in his entire life. In fact, it was almost always a joke that he was the sleepiest person in a city ironically named Insomnia.

The wound in his abdomen was deep, Ignis explained, and he was lucky to be alive. He was lucky that he didn't bleed to death out on the battlefield. He was _lucky that Miss Farron had been there to find him._ Noctis limped along the stone paths that weaved through the vegetation in the gardens, unsure what was wrong with him. He'd been so confused when he laid eyes on the woman with pink hair and yet, he could plainly remember the events leading up to his blackout. He'd been stabbed and fallen into the mud, he remembered thinking he was a dead man...

He wracked his brain trying his hardest to figure out who she was to no avail. It had kept the Prince awake last night and now he was restless to the point of irritation. She'd looked so expectant when she said his name...and he just blinked at her like she was some unwanted straggler. When he'd looked to his friends for help, Prompto's expression was beyond distraught and Ignis looked even more tight-lipped but, Gladiolus wasn't even looking at Noctis. His eyes were trained onto the woman's features and before Noctis could see, she'd retreated out of the room.

Noctis had inquired whom she was and what Prompto blurted out shook him to the core. _"Lightning's your fiancé..."_

The first thing that left his lips in response was about Lunafreya. His blonde companion was about to answer before Ignis stopped him with a hard cheek pinch. Ignis and Gladiolus's expressions were both hard to read when Ignis told him to ask Lightning. They'd left after that to let him rest but, how could anyone sleep after an encounter like that?

There was an old stone bench in the gardens that he liked to sit on and think. A place in his childhood memories that left him with feelings of nostalgia. It was where he'd kissed Luna when they were young and it was where he'd tried to write dark poetry in his teenage years. (It was also where Prompto had done dramatic readings to Gladiolus of said poetry.) This bench, he could easily recall and replay memory after memory but, that girl—Lightning—he couldn't remember a single fact about her.

Noctis eased himself onto the bench and he could clearly hear the footfalls that echoed his stop around the corner. He was thankful that they were giving him a bit of privacy despite still being held on a tight leash. The fragility of the Lucis heir was at an all time high so no doubt, he was pushing his own luck by merely being outside.

His eyes fell to his feet, slippered and he grinned at the design—black cartoonish Chocobos. It took him a second longer to realize that he couldn't recall how he'd come into the possession of such a silly footwear. All he knew was that Prompto had dropped them off in the morning when he'd showered. "They're probably his, a way of cheering me up..."

It was uncomfortable to sit in one position for too long and Noctis flinched when he readjusted himself every few minutes. The doctors had explained that he should be able to walk fine in a few days given the crystal's power but, he should still be wary of how much stress he put on himself. It was the best news he'd heard yesterday to be honest; the surprise change of his engagement had been the worst.

His mind kept wondering back to the person that was supposed to have held such importance to him yet, he could even remember her face. She'd left too soon before he could study her features. It had occurred to him, last night in his thoughts, that he had loved her so much he'd broken off a political marriage arrangement for her. Noctis made note to contact Luna and ask her why he would do something like that to her. How could he have done that to his country? Who was Lightning? To Noctis, at this point, she was just a problem.

Wrapped up in his own brooding, he almost missed the shuffling of his guard and a curt, "Miss Farron."

His hairs stood tall on the back of his neck, like a deathly chill was brushing over him. His heart raced, nervous, as he readjusted himself to watch this woman appear in front of him. She was dressed in plain clothing, nothing overtly flashy or lavish and he supposed she was some commoner. Which begged the question of how he'd even met her. Ignis had told him she was even out on the battlefield. Perhaps she was a medic in the army or some lowly foot soldier but, Lucis didn't recruit many women into their military ranks. Question after question fired off in his mind, though none made it out of his lips.

"I figured you'd be out here," she smiled softly, stating it matter-of-factly. She pointed to the bench and asked, "Do you mind?"

What was he supposed to do? Tell her to leave him alone? Even if he had wanted to, something told him that she'd hardly listen. It was a hunch he supposed was reliable enough to go by considering his limited knowledge of her. She sat down next to him, leaving enough space for another person between them. Noctis could cut the air it was so thick with tension and unspoken inquiries. Finally, she spoke, hesitant but, somehow firm, "You don't remember me."

His eyes snapped to the side and he could see her own fall to the ground. It felt like she wasn't really speaking to him, though. The smile on her lips completely vanished when she looked straight ahead. Her features were sharp, he noticed, and she wasn't unattractive. It seemed insane that he would risk the stability and security of his own people for a pretty face, though. He gulped before he spoke, "Your name...it's Lightning?"

She turned to him, nodding, "I suppose that's better than absolutely nothing."

"I...I tried to remember. I just...there's nothing," he wrung his hands in front of him. Her hands fell onto her knees and Noctis caught glimpse of a glint. There, proudly sitting upon her hand, was the ring his father had given his mother and his grandfather had bestowed to his grandmother before King Regis, and so on and so forth. His hands grew clammy and he almost blurted out that she take it off. It was like a huge slap to the face, an insult to his lineage, like she was some thief. It made his skin crawl, his blood boil, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to tell her to give it back. It made him feel absolutely horrible.

"I don't expect you'll remember...ever, really," her voice went low and her hands found themselves. The offensive piece of jewelry hidden beneath her other hand. "I'm glad you're okay, Noct."

He visibly winced at his nickname. "Can...you not call me Noct? I'm sorry—"

"No, I get it," her voice was so resolute and he wasn't sure if she was trying or not. Her tone was not timid, it was far too understanding than he expected. He was certain she would be crying, begging and pleading for him to remember...but, here she was—calm and collected. "I'll call you Noctis, if that's fine."

He supposed it was the least he could do to ease her own troubles, "Yeah, that's fine."

"I..." Her eyes dropped to her hands and they clenched into fists before she continued, "I think you should take it."

"Excuse me?"

Her hands relaxed and as response she twisted the ring around her finger. Reluctantly she went to pull it off her finger and his hands grew cold again. She slipped it off and held it between two fingers, eyeing it for a moment. He could see it all over her face that she was hesitant to hand it over. Noctis held out his hand and she softly placed it in his palm before he closed his fast around the still warm object. The sensation only made his stomach churn with even more hatred. Not towards her in particular but at he situation. He was furious he had put himself in this position and he couldn't do anything but trust his own incomplete memories.

"I really," she put her hands between her thighs. It would be embarrassing if Lightning grabbed for the ring again..."I really wanted to marry you, Noctis."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's my fault after all," she laughed but, it held no joy. Her icy blue eyes fell to her own feet and after a moment she scoffed, "I assume Prompto told you to wear those?"

"Huh?" Noctis was startled at the sudden change of conversation and he swallowed when he moved his feet. "Uh, yeah...these were the only shoes he brought me."

"I can't believe he got you to wear them after all. He and I have been trying for a whole two weeks—"

Noctis interrupted, "They're comfortable."

"I know," she smiled that same hollow smile she'd been giving him from before. A large sigh escaped past her lips and she eyes the nearby bush, "When you first brought me to the castle garden, I swore I thought you were gonna pull some cliche out of your sleeve and show me a rose bush but, you just sat me on a bench."

"Romance was never my strong suit."

"No, it wasn't," she agreed. "White flowers. You gave me white flowers."

"Cyclamen."

"You remember?"

"It's the national flower. I would have brought you something like that, I guess," he stated flatly. Lightning's expression fell. The pinkette shifted to her feet and turned to leave, "I should go." Noctis watched as she took a few steps away from him. She only turned half way around to say, "Get better, Noctis."

The ring in his hand had never felt heavier when she left.

* * *

 **Oh man, you don't even know how much worse it's gonna get before it gets better. Until next time!**


	3. Candytuft

**I'm kinda barreling through this in a sudden burst of inspiration so who knows how many chapters I may write. Lol this ones at least a little funny. Well, maybe not...**

* * *

The next day, Noctis had healed significantly from the crystal's power and he was actually thankful for the damned thing. He could sit up without having to require assistance and he could walk without a limp, he would be out of the castle's medical staff's hair in no time. He wanted to address the concerns of the public. Ignis had come by yesterday night and informed him on the state of the country. It was no secret that he had fallen on the battlefield and it was of public concern that he was healthy. After all, he was leading the brigade against the Imperial army. Without his powers, they would surely be crushed.

He was anxious to contact Lunafreya, he had many questions since he'd woken up.

He was supposed to see his father at some point when he had the strength but, Ignis suggest he postpone that meeting for a while. The King had visited several times in his coma but, now King Regis was out of the country and would not return for a few more days.

Noctis just needed to get his mind back in order. He needed to be healthy tomorrow. He needed to stop thinking about Lightning Farron, too. When she'd left him in the gardens, he wanted to scream. There were so many conflicting emotions swirling within himself that he didn't know what to do—he hated her and he hated himself but, he didn't want to hate her but, Noctis could do anything. It was awful sitting next to her and watching her try and act like she wasn't absolutely crushed from his condition. He hated how it was his fault that she felt like that.

Prompto had been trying to cheer him up all day. The blonde was currently dealing a hand of cards to the Prince as he sat across from him on the hospital bed, a bed table between them as he counted under his breath. Noctis picked up his hand when the blonde finished. Prompto snickered, poker face all but melting away, when he eyed his own hand.

"Prompto..."

"Yeah, buddy?" Prompto pulled a few cards from his hand and setting them off to the side.

"When did we...meet Lightning?"

Prompto tried his best not to let the color leave his face but, he nervously stuttered out a response, "Uh, when? I guess a while ago."

"How long's that?"

"One...uh, two...three years? Yeah, three and a half this next month, actually! You gotta any fives?"

"No, go fish. You got any sevens?" he said blandly. "Three years?" Noctis mulled over the date and felt even worse.

"Shit," Prompto handed over two Sevens and Noctis grouped them off to the side. When Noctis asked about his two's, Prompto gladly responded go fish. "How 'bout fours? And yup, yup, yup, three and half years."

The prince sighed, handing the one four he had, "I can't remember."

Prompto peered over his hand and frowned, "It's not gonna come back all at once, Noct. I don't think so, anyways. I had a concussion once when I was younger and I couldn't remember the last three days. All a blur. Nada, nothing—"

Noctis grumbled, "I can remember the last seconds I had of passing out but, I can't remember anything about her. I remembered the slippers when she talked about but, I couldn't put her in the memories...just you."

Prompto sweated nervously, "I'm sure it'll come back. You can't just forget someone like Light. Got a six?"

"She gave me the ring back. Go fish."

Prompto halted his retrieval and choked on his own spit, "What?! Noct, she what?!"

"She gave me the ring. Go fish."

Prompto put his cards down and slapped his hands to his cheeks, shaking his head, "Nononononono, you can't let her do that! You guys were, like, the freaking power couple of the century! You were gonna make the cutest babies! I'm gonna lose money to Gladiolus and not even for the right fucking reason, ugh, this is horrible! You gotta give it back to her!"

"I'm not marrying her," Noctis stated plainly. "Draw a card."

Prompto crossed his arms and pouted, "No. Noct, c'mon, you can't remember _anything_?"

Noctis tossed his cards onto the table, frustrated, "You don't think I tried? I told you, I can't remember anything about her."

"O-okay, well, why don't you just talk to her more? You fell in love once, can't you just propose again and—"

"That's pointless, Prompto," a third voice entered the conversation and both young men turned to its source. A bright pink head of hair met both their gazes and Prompto's face flushed red as Noctis tore his eyes away from her form. "I won't say yes."

"Can I help you with something?" He said rather harshly and Prompto nudged his friend with his foot. Noctis sighed and looked at her.

"I came here looking for Trigger Fingers," she pointed to the gunner. "It won't take long."

Prompto looked to Noctis and Noctis rolled his eyes. "You don't need my permission, Prompto."

The blonde slid off the hospital bed and followed Lightning out of the room. The door shut loudly and Noctis rapped his fingers on the table as he waited for their private conversation end. It was grating on his sanity that she managed to appear whenever he was talking about her, it was borderline laughable. When he had initially woken up, there had been a bit of a recognition of her hair color but, it could have been anyone with rose-colored hair. He rubbed his forehead and tried not to hurt himself too much on over analyzing hair color.

* * *

Despite her words, Prompto did not return to Noctis's room until dinner time. He was personally carrying a tray full of freshly made food for the Prince, an easily digestible meal consisting of soup and fresh bread. Prompto already had a piece of the loaf between his teeth when he kicked the door open.

"Oh, you're back?" Noctis had been catching up on the world events on his tablet that Ignis had dropped off early that day. Ignis didn't say much when he visited, he inquired about the ring that lay on the side table but, Noctis didn't answer him. The young advisor left without pressing the issue and yet, Noctis felt like Ignis was biting his tongue the whole way. It was quite unlike the man to not speak his mind when something is bothering him and Noctis was not sure why he was so concerned about his love life, or lack thereof.

Prompto set the tray down on the table they'd been using for cards earlier. He pulled the bread from his mouth and sighed. Noctis picked up the silver utensil and then shot his friend a look, "Aren't you hungry? You're always hungry."

"I just came to drop your food off actually," his downcast expression was unnerving to see and Noctis huffed in frustration.

"What's up with you and Ignis—you both had that look. Ever since I woke, you guys have been treating me differently—I haven't changed!"

Prompto ruffled his hair and stares into his bread piece, avoiding eye contact with Noctis, he spoke lower, more serious and somber than he liked to be, "I...we just want you two to be happy again."

"I'm fine."

"But, Lightning isn't."

"There's...there's nothing I can do about that."

"You gotta remember, Noct," Prompto's voice was filled with desperation. Clearly his talk with the rosette had not been a cheery one. "Don't you remember anything about her?"

"...no, I told you."

His dark blues narrowed at the blonde, growing even more irritated about the situation. It was all anybody seemed to care about these days! He knew it must've sounded cold and harsh but, he could care less about an engagement—they were fighting a war! If anything, they should be glad that he wasn't engaged or remembered anything about that woman! He could focus on the battles ahead, treaties to be drafted, securing his kingdom. A silly wedding could wait.

"I'm gonna go, Noct. Just...do me a favor and at least...try. Talk to her...please."

* * *

 **Well, let's see what Noctis will say to Miss Farron. Will he remember her? Why does everyone care so much anyways? What's Light thinking—or doing for that matter? What's Papa Regis gonna say about all this mess? Will I stop asking rhetorical questions?**

 **I'm sorry. I am just really tried. Insomnia really sucks. ;^;**

 **p.s. It's rainy where I live so I'll probably be writing all weekend ;)**


	4. Yellow Chrysanthemum

**super thanks to reveiwers and those of you who've favorited/followed. one reviewer actually has a firm grasp on where this plot is headed but, not all quite there I'm afraid. This one is long ^.^**

* * *

Noctis couldn't have been more unhappy about his current position. It seemed that Ignis was taking personal offense to his indifference towards Lightning and had been postponing meeting with public officials so that Noctis could focus on his seemingly selective amnesia. The young advisor hadn't told him either and it wasn't as if Noctis was in a place that he could fire Ignis so, here he stood, awaiting an answer from a Miss Lightning Farron.

When he'd knocked on the door and she opened it quite cautiously (which she didn't really need to as she was safe inside the palace) peeking one azure through the space. It has widened at the sight of him and she closed it promptly before he heard frantic shuffling inside. That brought the slightest of quirks to his lips at the lack of preparedness. She was obviously not expecting him to talk to her at all. (She seemed to be the only one with that mindset.)

When she reappeared, her hair was still wet from the shower she must've come out of, and her clothing was haphazardly chosen. She held an unreadably calm expression, but it faltered a bit when he thrust the object in his hands her way. White cyclamen flowers. His eyes diverted their attention away from her as he held them out. She took them, sensing his obvious discomfort and held them in front of her with tender care. The light, sweet scent of the flowers wafted to her nose and she smiled for a fraction of second before looking back to his face. "Thank you."

He shoved his hands in his coat pocket and stared anywhere but at her, "Would you like to eat dinner with me tonight?"

"Hm?" She stiffened and he flinched in response, ready to get rejected. In fact, he was ready to bolt. There was a nervousness in him that he could not understand. He supposed he was never great at speaking to the opposite sex and with the knowledge of who this woman was to him before his accident, he get uneasy. "Dinner?"

"Yeah, that's what I said," his tone was bordering condescending.

"Did Ignis put you up to this?" Her words were almost playful but, her face certain held no inkling of teasing.

Noctis sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "Look, if you don't want to, you can just say no."

"Alright, then, no, I don't want to have dinner with you," she answered. "Thank you again for the flowers." She motioned to the delicate white bulbs and he scrunched his eyebrows.

"Wait, what—?"

But, she'd already closed the door on him. For a moment, he was stunned in his spot. He expected a possible rejection but, he was more confident that she'd want to have dinner with him! The prince scoffed as he stared incredulously at the wood of her door, his hand flying back up to knock once more. His expression steeled, pride wounded. He was doing HER a favor! The nerve of this woman!

She had a towel in her hair when she reopened the door, somewhat shocked to see that he was still standing there. Though, now his face was contorted into something of a child's when throwing a fit, "Yes?" Her response cool and even-tempered was a stark contrast to his harsher one.

"Why won't you have dinner with me?"

She stopped drying her hair to scoff, "Are you really that upset?"

He didn't answer.

"I don't want you to assume that I want you to chase after me. It's easier like this anyways. I'm gonna be leaving in ten days...there's not much of a point to burden you, Noctis. You should concentrate on your kingdom."

"You're the only one in this stupid country that probably thinks that way, I'm afraid," he retorted bitterly. Crossing his arms, Noctis sighed. "If you're leaving, I should still dine with my guests."

Lightning smiled a little amused, "I don't think I've been a guest for three years, Noctis."

 _"The kitchens have certainly noticed, Farron,"_ he snorted. The words fell off his lips so smoothly that he hadn't even realized what he had said until it was out in the open. Her eyes went to his and she had her lips upturned before they fell again.

"You haven't called me that in a while," she said.

"I don't even know where that came from," he touched his lips, stunned for the second time this morning. "I'm sorry."

Lightning rolled her eyes, "Actually, it was...nice to hear that. Although, I don't appreciate that jab at my eating habits."

"I'm sorry—"

"Calm down, Caelum, I was joking," she went back to drying her hair.

He cleared his throat before speaking, "So, will you at least let me indulge Prompto in speaking to you? He won't stop looking at me like I've killed his dog."

"We're speaking now, aren't we?" She smirked. He stared on. Lightning sighed, "Fine but, not dinner—since I eat so much, apparently—a walk?"

"Fine, though, I should tell you that I'm still recovering from—"

"I'll see you later then, at around six?"

"Yes, that's fine but—"

But, she'd already closed the door once more. He commented on her rude behavior but, something about it all made his hands sweaty. He turned on his heel to find something to do until six, suddenly extremely anxious.

* * *

Six o'clock could not have rolled around more slowly, it seemed. Noctis surprised himself when he had spent three of those hours in his own bedroom, staring at the clothes in his closet and deeming every suit and article of clothing unfit. A small portion of the closet, a corner, was home to clothing that certainly did not belong to him. An assortment of colorful evening gowns that were fit for a princess and the last time he checked, he had not developed a fetish for cross dressing. They're was one explanation to offer but, he chose not to indulge in it.

He had stopped a few hours in to take a step back and realize that he was acting like some nervous teenager on their first date. It was ridiculous! He would not come out of his room despite the maidservants's calls for tea or to have his bedding switched. He was locked away in his room for hours it seemed, pacing back in forth in front of a mirror.

Eventually, he'd settled on a simple black button up and dark jeans as she had just said they were going for a "walk".

He had originally shown up at her door empty-handed but his hands felt awkward. He'd ran back to the gardens and plucked up the first flowers he'd seen, peeling away all the unsightly dirty parts on his way back into the castle. It was about fifteen minutes too early when he finally settled on knocking. She'd answered almost immediately, probably just as ready as he'd been—for hours, it seemed. He handed over the yellow flowers and she took them again, "Your gardeners are only going to hate me if you keep bringing me flowers but, thank you again." She retreated into the room and placed them in the same vase the cyclamen were displayed in. Noctis looked around the room and noticed that it was hardly touched, no doubt that the maids were partially credited for but, it didn't look like anyone had been living in it for three years. So that must mean...

"Did we..." The question never made it past a whisper and if she heard the beginnings, she ignored them, shutting the door behind her. He cleared his throat and put some space between the two of them, "Did you have anywhere in particular you wanted to go?"

Lightning smirked and started walking off, he followed and somehow he knew they were going to be doing so for quite some time. Noctis took note of the way she held herself, strait, tall and proud—she glided across the floor and he wondered if she'd been raised in a wealthy family. It occurred to him that he was trusting (to him at least) a complete stranger. Noctis quickly matched her steady pace and the air grew awkward. They passed by a few servants and guards in the palace, they all seemed perfectly fine with the woman's presence, bowing to the passing pair. Lightning would nod in acknowledge mm but otherwise was not unnerved. So, she really had been his fiancé, then...

"Can I ask where you're taking me?"

Lightning sucked in through her teeth, thinking about giving him an answer. She clicked her tongue and said, "No."

"I can just order you—"

"I'll just ignore you," she interrupted. "Besides, if I tell you, it ruins the surprise." The way she said "surprise" made the Prince a little uneasy. He couldn't read any of her expressions, couldn't tell what the quirks in her speech meant, he hardly understood why he would want to marry someone that interrupted and ignored him. "Look, I know it's hard for you to trust me but, just...trust me."

He huffed out a small sound of agreement. There wasn't much of a choice. He'd let Ignis and Prompto be satisfied and then, he forget about it. He had much more important issues on his mind, currently. "Should we talk?"

"We could. Do you want to?"

"Not really but, I'd rather talk than sit in silence."

She scoffed, "What do you want to talk about, then?" She lead him through the door leading to the gardens. The air was colder than two days ago and he wondered if she was bothered by it—she wasn't wearing a coat. Growing up in a colder climate, Noctis was accustomed to the chilly air of Lucis. However, she did nothing that hinted of her discomfort and they continued meandering through the castle lawns.

What did he want to talk about? He could drone on about the state of the war but, what would she know? She was clearly a foreigner and despite her supposed rescue on the battlefield, she was not anybody but his former fiancé. He could talk about how he needed desperately to speak with Lunafreya, his father, and Ignis but, she didn't seem like she would be interested in them. He didn't think she would be interested at all in what he had to say. For all he knew, she had seduced him and was just some harlot who'd weaseled her way into his heart. If she wasn't worth remembering then, what was he supposed to talk about?

Lightning sighed. He was taking his time in answering, wrapped up in his own thoughts, "I'm sorry, I'm thinking about something to ask you."

"You could ask me who I am."

It was Noctis's turn to scoff now, "You were my fiancée. Your name is Lightning Farron. You're not from Lucis. You saved my life and everyone seems to accept you fairly well in the castle, especially Ignis and Prompto."

She nodded, agreeing to his small list of facts. The skin and bone of her character. Noctis had listed them off like he was reading a placard and not a very impressive one at that. Her hand found themselves behind her back, clasped as she sighed. Her breath came out in a small white puff. "I really messed things up for you, Noctis."

He wasn't sure how to respond to this. If he agreed, he seemed like an asshole but, if he denied it, he'd be lying. "Is there anything else I should know about you? Favorite color? What?"

"It's not pink, if that's what you're thinking," she joked.

"I'm not particularly interested in anything about you," he admitted, trying as best to kept the harshness to a minimum. The last thing he wanted was a crying girl on his hands.

Instead of taking offense, she laughed, "Damn, that was my line."

"What?"

"I recall saying something similar to you when you tried to get me to ask you something. When we first met, I mean."

"And did you ask me anything?"

Her eyes slid over and she smirked, "I did."

Noctis sighed, "What was it?"

"It didn't really go over well back then, I'm positive it will go worse, now," her tone was much lighter than before.

Noctis stopped. She had kept walking before she turned to face him. "What did you ask me, then?"

She crossed her arms, jutting out a hip, "I asked if you if Prompto was your boyfriend."

"What?!" He choked, "Why-why...why would you say that!? I'm not—we're not—he's—I like women!" He stuttered and started walking off without her, leaving her behind. She snickered at the flustered expression on his face as he picked up his pace. Grumbling unintelligibly to himself, it didn't take long for her to join back at his side. A sly smile had slithered on her lips once again and she laughed again, something closer to actual laughter at least, "You said the same thing, back then. I'm pretty sure."

Still visibly flustered, ego wounded, he huffed out, "That's just an inappropriate question to ask someone."

"What? At the time, it was an honest question. You two were close, you shared a tent and I do remember a time that I had seen you two cuddled close—"

He turned, voice shrill in his adamant defense, "It was nearly freezing outside! I wasn't spooning Prompto!" He wasn't mad just embarrassed having remembered that night as being one they would never speak of. _"Plus, I told you before, he stole the blankets..."_

She stopped for a moment at his statement, one he didn't dwell on. He'd already began on the next subject.

"A-anyways, where are we going?"

She shook her head a little and looked around them. They were nearing the edge of the lawn and she reached out to grab at his hand. Noctis, instinctively, pulled away and regretted the action as soon as it had transpired. Her hands retracted back to her form and he cursed mentally at the sight of her dejected expression. Lightning didn't take long to bounce back and turned, voice still as unwavering as it had been, "This way. Just up ahead."

* * *

He'd been here before.

Ignis would probably scoff at him, scold him and tell him, "Of course, you've been here before. You just can't remember, Your Highness."

But, he couldn't place a finger on when or why he'd been here. A feeling was there—muddled and confusing and not exactly helpful but, it was there. The memory was so close, like a song you new the tune to but couldn't find the words. Lightning had taken a perched seat on a tall rock, protruding from the ground, her legs dangling over the edge. She had her eyes close and there cliff a few yards in front of them clearly didn't unnerve her. He was still standing where she'd left him.

He'd been here before.

But, when?

"Come. Sit," she finally sat, patting the space next to her. "You've climbed up here before, you can do it again, Your Royal Highness." He rolled his eyes, pushing the small flutter of nostalgia down inside. There was no point in forcing the memory. He hoisted himself onto the large boulder and sat down, looking out over the edge of the landscape. It dropped down to a cityscape below, lights blinking like a sea of man made stars. He guessed this would be a romantic place to take someone had it been any other situation.

"You were terrible at romance but, you could manage something every now and again," she said. He turned his head to her, placing his hands in between his legs, fiddling with his fingernails. Lightning had hers at her sides, and a pensive look took home on her features. "I thought this place might trigger something."

He gulped, swallowing back any hesitations, "It...did."

Lightning knew better than to look like an some forlorn, lovesick puppy who was eager for anything and remained stoic. "Yeah?"

"It's more of a feeling...I don't even know what to call it," he stared back out to lights below, a frown on his lips. "I'm just confused...whatever feelings I had for you, then. I just...I just can't remember them." The words continued out like vomit and he couldn't stop once he'd started. "I understand that I must've loved you once but, I'm not going to force myself to...you know maybe it's fate or destiny and we just weren't meant to...you know?"

Lightning sighed, "I've dealt with destinies a few times and destiny is what you make of it. If you don't like it, change it. Fuck fate and destinies and predetermined lives. You can make your own path, Noctis. You can fight it." she clenched her fisted and her brows furrowed in frustration. Her voice went low and threatened to finally crack, "It's not...fair."

Noctis desperately hoped that she wouldn't start sobbing. He couldn't have been out in a worse spot. He swallowed hard, "I'm trying to fight a war already. I don't want my destiny caught up in the mix."

He didn't get an answer after he finished but the smallest of sobs snuck out of her mouth. His gaze snapped to her face, cool visage crumbling with every second.

"Gods, I'm pathetic, right?" She said sadly as she wiped the tears that pricked at the corners of her eyes. He stiffened and as his hand fly to her cheek, it surprise himself. He wiped away the year that had rolled away from her and he lingered much too long. Retracting his hand, her's went to follow it and grabbed the wrist. Her grip was firm but, not tight, nothing like a noblewoman—it was someone desperate. "I'm sorry, Noctis."

"Why do you keep apologizing to me?" He spoke low as if his voice mind send her over the edge of sanity. She was balancing so precariously on the ledge that he had to be careful. He may not have harbors all the affection he once had but, there was something making him physically ill at the sight of her tears. He hated himself more than ever.

She released his wrist and put her face in her hands, "I'm trying to keep it together but, it's hard when you look at me like I'm some fucking nobody."

The voice in his head taunted her and repeated, _You are. You are. You are. You are._ Noctis gulped and fought the urge to puke. He was getting sick just listening to the horrible thought. Of course he wanted nothing to do with marrying her but, he was disgusted with himself all the same. It was frustrating.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she kept repeating and Noctis couldn't do anything. He sat frozen watching as the mask cracked and shattered before him. Her sons were grating on his conscience and he wanted to run away. That would make it infinitely worse, he knew. The Prince cursed mentally and he grit his teeth. He was running out of options. He couldn't run, he didn't want to stay and he couldn't throw himself off the cliff, either.

"Lightning," he called out. She ignored him, her melancholiac chanting digging at his insides, twisting them. He spoke her name again, more forcefully. "Lightning!" He grabbed her forearms, turning her to face him. His cobalt orbs searched her puffy eyes and his frown deepened. He squashed his own pride and reluctantly brough her towards him. He supposed anyone would appreciate a hug when they were crying and she seemed no different. Noctis could feel her body jerk from hiccups and fresh tears staining his shirt. Her hands clenched at his chest and he felt something in him stir. It wasn't lust or disgust or disdain, it was something much lighter. He felt his heart ache as her body scooted closer to retain any warmth he had. She was freezing, her skin was ice and he wondered why she wasn't shivering. Noctis felt his stomach flip flop as they stayed that way for a few minutes. After her body began to finally relax, he pulled her away slowly, taking a look at her face now. "Are you done?"

She blinked and hurriedly wiped her face before pushing all the way from him. "Shit," she cursed. "I hate crying," her voice was still a little shaky. "I'm—"

"Please, don't apologize. Please," he slouched and let out a relieved sigh. She seemed more like before.

Lightning gave a ghost of a smile before letting out a sad laugh, "I'll try. Um, could you do me a favor and not..."

"I won't tell Prompto."

* * *

They left shortly afterwards, it was quiet on the way back to her room. He figured he should walk her all the way back as a curtesy. When her hand landed on the handle of the door, she turned, "Noctis?"

"Yeah?" he had begun stepping away before she called out to him. He had his hand in his pockets again.

"You really don't remember me, do you?"

If he had a hundred Gil for every time he heard someone ask him if they remembered her. Sighing again, "I don't."

She nodded, "Do you...do you think that we could...I'd like to take you up on dinner, actually."

Noctis bowed his head a little, "Name a day."

"Tomorrow."

Ah, tomorrow he was hoping he could dine with his father. Ignis had told him that the King would be back tomorrow. "I'm going to meet my father tomorrow."

"Then, how about just a drink?"

"A drink?" His brows shot up. Settling on a more casual setting may have actually been a blessing in disguise, however, and the Caelum heir agreed. She thanked him once more and retreated into her room. He just hoped it wouldn't end up in tears.

* * *

 **yikes, yikes, yikes, I feel like this is all over the place but, I feel like that's just the angst being angsty. I don't I'm always self-conscience about my writing tbh (who isn't, though?)**

 **And another thing, I've made Lightning a bit more emotional in this story not because I wanted to write her OOC but, I'm assuming even after the events of LR:FF, she's become more emotional as a person. Can you imagine the one you love forgetting you and acting like an ass (because Noctis isn't entirely being a nice boy here) and not to mention there's more to Lightning's story than meets the eye.**

 **p.s. if you haven't already noticed each chapter is a flower name. can you tell what influenced me to write this?**

 **chapter five might actually be happy ? (No, I'm lying.)**


	5. Hydrangea

**Big thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed and favorites! I'm serious, you give me the strength and desire to keep writing even if school and life is getting me down. I love you all and who else is freaking pumped for this game?! Uncovered was too much for my heart and I'm going to die before September 30th. Ugh, I have to finish this before that game comes out or I won't be able to do both.**

 **I in so sorry for such a long wait. I haven't forgotten about this story. I have such good plans for future events and I'm not done ripping my OTP to shreds. After this, I plan I writing a much more cheerful story. :3**

* * *

In the morning, Noctis had found himself eager to pass the time before his father had arrived. He had finally been able to track down Gladiolus, the only one who hadn't visited him while he was on bed rest. Ignis was easier to find! Of course, Noctis had only just lucked out by walking past the training grounds and catching a glimpse of the burly man smashing a tree trunk to pieces. The others on the grounds were huddled near the edges, hoping to avoid the heavy blows and thanking the gods that they were not the tree. Noctis had never seen Gladiolus train like that but, at least he had found his long-time friend.

Approaching the man with a slower pace than he normally would have, Noctis observed the way he cracked the wood of the tree. Had he been a normal bystander, he'd have flinched at the intensity of each blow.

"Gladio!"

The larger Man grunted as he struck the wood again before wiping his brow on the back of his arm. He set the large blade on the ground, leaning on the large chunk of metal. When he turned to see Noctis, his hard expression did not falter. This was strange to Noctis as Gladiolus was the last person he'd expect to treat him so coldly. "What?" A venom had replaced the usually lax tone. Noctis went on the defense.

"Are...you okay?"

Gladiolus looked away, his frown deepened, "Shouldn't you be in bed, Noct?"

Noctis narrowed his eyes. He rarely saw Gladio in such a sour mood. Had it been Ignis, he would just suspect that the bespectacled male was just dealing with far too much stress and was lashing out but, this was not Ignis. "If you had visited me, you'd know that I'm in mostly working order." He tried to keep his tone light despite his caution.

Gladiolus scoffed and went for the handle of his blade, returning to his previous actions. "Sorry, I was...never mind."

Noctis flinched a little bit at the swinging and cracking of wood. Every time he would bring the blade up, Noctis would speak. He would pause when the steel came crashing into the trunk. "What were you...doing if you don't...mind me asking?"

He answered before heaving the weapon upwards onto his shoulder, "It doesn't concern you, Noct. Don't worry about it."

"You're my friend, you don't exactly seem okay. Are you sure you—"

"I don't want to talk about it, Noct!" He uncharacteristically snapped. Now Noctis knew something was definitely wrong. Gladio was the last guy you'd see snap. He was Noctis's rock, the man he looked up to when he needed to toughen up. He knew that even if he had the worse day, Gladio would manage to be there with an open ear and handful of advice to bring him back from the edge of sulking.

"Gladio, you can tell me."

"No, I can't. I made a promise that I intend to keep," he grumbled.

Crossing his arms, Noctis scowled. He hadn't expected this confrontation to enfold. He hadn't expected to be put in such a sour mood this morning. Even so, Noctis pressed, "I thought we could talk...I haven't seen you since I woke up and I thought—"

"You shouldn't be talking to me, you should be talking to someone else," Gladiolus returned to his workout.

"And whom might that be, exactly?"

"Lightning."

"Not you, too," Noctis groaned. His irritation skyrocketed. It was as if the mere mention of her name brought a wave of annoyance to his being. Why couldn't he get through one goddamn day without having to talk about this woman?! Sure, he'd agreed to a drink but, he didn't need to discuss her being with anyone but her. Why didn't everyone have their head in on the problem?

"I just don't feel like talking today, Noct. I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later. I just think you should see Lightning—"

"This is fucking ridiculous! I don't want to talk to her, I came here to see you."

"I'm not the one you should be talking to, though. You should be trying to figure out what you've forgotten, Noct."

"I have! It's the one thing I wish I never remember at this point," he spat. Noctis was fuming now, his whole morning was ruined. "If you don't want to talk then fine, I'll leave. You're the last person I expected to pull this one me, though, Gladio." Noctis stormed away, boiling with frustration once again.

Gladiolus frowned again. He didn't want to spurn his friend. He didn't want to live with the fact that he couldn't control his friends' lives. He wished he could save them both from themselves. He felt useless even has he cracked the oak tree trunk in half.

He couldn't help either of them.

* * *

There was a knock on the door and the Prince readjusted his tie for the fifth time. He was having troubles with the damned thing and he wondered how he ever figured it out before. Perhaps there had been more memory loss involved in his accident than he was told. Despite this, Noctis sighed and went for the door, a servant bowed his head low and spoke timidly in his presence.

Noctis never pictured himself intimidating but, he had been scowling quite often these past days. "Yes?" The Lucis heir tried his best as to not sound so angry but, it seemed he wasn't doing a very adequate job. The messenger still spoke a bit timidly in his presence and under his state. Something Noctis was sure never happened before.

"King Regis has returned, Your Highness. He is ready to see you now."

Noctis nodded and dismissed the nervous boy, giving up on the half-assed knot. He slid the necktie off his neck with an agitated flick and threw the fabric onto the dresser on his way to the door. He didn't have time for such trivial tasks as ties a tie so his father would just have to manage with his sloppy appearance. Noctis assumed he could probably get by considering he had practically returned from the dead.

Despite his best efforts to not think about her, his thoughts were consumed by the pink-haired woman plaguing his everyday life. Lightning was a bad person, he knew—it honestly didn't take a genius to figure that much—but, even so, he couldn't seem to do anything but blame her. It wasn't fair and it wasn't rational but, he couldn't help it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't muster anything from his past about her. Sure, the underlying feeling that ebbed at him from within was present but, a distinct memory was nonexistent.

He shook his head, he couldn't have possibly have forgotten someone so important so easily. It was insane. Perhaps, Luna would have answers...she used to have all the answers when the two of them were younger. Between her and Ignis, Noctis wasn't sure whom he pestered more in their youth. Ignis might have answers but, then again, Ignis had been blatantly avoiding his presence for the time being. Gladiolus was no better—in fact, he was even worse.

The doors to his father's office was finally in sight and Noctis buttoned up the top button, pulling at the collar a little. He shouldn't have been nervous but, somehow he knew the talk he was about to have would not end well. None of the conversations he'd been having had been ending well, in fact.

Two guards stood by the entrance, stoic in their armor and Noctis need only step close enough before one of them put out their arm to open the doors for the Prince. He strode in, hands clammy but a thin lipped expression on his face gave no indication of his anxiety. His father was seated at his large ebony desk, reading spectacles resting on the edge of his nose as he peered over some documents. Noctis had never known a harder working man than his father and it never ceases to amaze him.

When Noctis got closer and the guard announced the Prince's presence, King Regis looked over the rim of his glasses. A small smile and a look of relief washed over the older man's face and he rose from his seat. The guard bowed respectively after being excused and when the door shut, the King began to move.

"Dad," was all that Noctis could get out before the older man had rounded his desk and embraced his son. Regis pulled away, his hands still firmly holding Noctis's shoulders, as though if he let go, Noctis would disappear.

"I'm relieved to see you are okay. That friend of yours has a way of embellishing a story enough to make your own father fearful," Regis tried to laugh through the somewhat irritated look he had. Noctis knew he was talking about how dramatic Prompto had probably been, which made him wonder what the blonde gunner had said. "You are recovering well, I see."

"Yes, but, I'm having trouble remembering a few things..." Noctis looked at the walls behind his father, a habit he had developed when he used to lie as a child. It was less obvious than looking at the ground, he thought. However, his father was not a man that was easily lied to and caught onto his little habit. His father's eyebrows furrowed at the comment.

"So, I've been informed. Though, I've also been told it's not something, rather someone." His father's hands dropped and Noctis felt the weight of his problems increase. "How do you feel...about your situation, Noct?"

"Dad, please don't try and psychoanalyze me."

"I'm not."

"I've already talked to her, it's not a big deal...she gave me back the ring. We're settling our own problems. I thought you'd want to speak to me about the state of the war—"

"Ignis, the Council, and I have calmed the country down; you needn't worry about the war. You're supposed to be resting anyways," Regis crossed his arms, much like he used to when Noctis was younger and suddenly he felt like he was ten again.

"I'm still the Prince, shouldn't I be helping—"

"And I'm the King, and I said you are resting. I don't want you fighting until you're fully healed and I'll hear nothing more on the matter!" The King was stern in his commands and Noctis backed down. There was no sense in arguing with a man just as stubborn as he was.

"So, you really just wanted to talk about Lightning, then?" Noctis didn't look his father in the eyes as he fully turned his head away now. That damned woman was tormented him at every direction and he couldn't escape it. His distaste was flaring up inside of him again and he just wanted to run out. It was always about her! He couldn't go one day without someone mentioning her name.

Regis's expression softened at the mention of her name and had Noctis been looking, he'd have curled his lips in disgust. "It pains me to see the two of you apart like this, Noctis."

Noctis's head snapped forward, eyes narrowed, he grit through his annoyance, "It shouldn't. I'm dealing with her myself and no one needs to worry about it."

"I...I just...I'm your father, Noct. I can see it on your face that you're not doing well and I just want you to be happy."

"I'm fine. I just want to focus on what I can remember and not dwell on some idiotic marriage that was going to happen! At this point, I don't even want to remember!"

"I take it I showed up at the worst possible moment, huh?" Like a deer in headlights, Noctis froze. A chill ran along his spine, the type of chill you get when you feel like a ghost is following you down a dark hallway. It made his stomach lurch and flip-flop when she had spoken. The lightness in her tone made him feel even worse, too. He stood in his spot, not daring to turn and see whatever expression was on her face.

He could see his father's, though, as his eyes darted to the door and he said, "Lightning!"

"Was I supposed to come later, Your Majesty—"

" _Regis_ , you know better than that, Lightning."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know...I should have knocked," her voice didn't waver but, somehow Noctis could still picture the sad expression on her face. His father left his line of sight to greet the woman, they just been discussing—that everyone couldn't stop talking to him about, too.

Noctis looked everywhere but, at them. Those guards just let her parade right on in!?

Regis gestured for Lightning to be seated on a chair in the study. She followed, her posture straight and rigid in the presence of the King and Noctis. She wrung her hands, a nervous tick that had only recently surfaced. The lightness of her fingers felt odd and she couldn't help but toy with the empty space on her finger. Regis took notice yet said nothing concerning it. Instead the old man cleared his throat, "Noct, why don't you sit down as well."

Noctis held back the urge to scoff. He knew better than to argue so he slumped into a couch opposite her own seat, his eyes diverted away. Regis remained standing, his hands clasped in front of him like he was about to speak to the nation.

"Dad," Noctis halted his father from speaking as the older Caelum began to move his lips. Noctis had a funny feeling about where this conversation was leading now that Lightning was present and accounted for. There was also something fishy about how he gladly let her in on their supposed "private" conversation. Regis pressed on despite his son's protests and Lightning's visible discomfort.

"Noctis, you're my son, I love you. There's nothing in this world that I want more than for you to be happy," he began.

Noctis closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose, sinking lower into the couch. "Dad, please—"

"And Lightning, I love you like you're already my daughter. You remind me so much of Noctis's mother and it has been a pleasure these past years having you with us in the palace."

Noctis's pleas went unheard even still. "Oh my–Dad, stop—"

Lightning smiled at the King's words, a small comfort to be so highly regarded by a man of his caliber. King Regis was one of the first in the Castle that she had grown to respect wholly. He was an admirable man with a sense of duty and wisdom beyond his years; she trusted him before everyone else in the castle.

"Now, I know that it has been a strange week for you two. Noctis, your memory may never return and Lightning, it has come to my understanding that you are departing from the palace in a week or so...but, I'm an old man..."

"Dad, what're you—"

"I cannot sit by and idly watch as you two drift apart as though there was nothing between you just because my son bumped his head!"

Noctis slapped his knees and stared daggers at his father, who's expression was nothing less than hopeful. "I almost died; I didn't just hit my head, Dad!" The conversation was turning into a farce. This whole meeting with his father was turning out to be some dramatic scene you'd see on television. It was ridiculous that it was happening to the King and his son! Lightning had said nothing. She wasn't sure what was funnier. The situation she had been put in or the way Noctis was acting like an embarrassed teenager.

"Dammit, Noctis, I'm old now, and I want to see my grandchildren walk this planet before I die!"

"Is that what this conversation was going to be about?!" Noctis was horrified. He was embarrassed, annoyed, disturbed and shocked that his father would be acting like a selfish old man just because he wanted to see grandchildren! The whole situation was ridiculous and he couldn't believe it was happening.

Regis huffed and puffed and crossed his arms, "I'm tired, Noct—"

"I am, too. I'm tired of everyone telling me what's best for me. I'm leaving," and room's air had lost its somewhat lighter tone and Lightning remained silent. She hadn't known what to say. She knew if she had spoken up, protested, it wouldn't make for a better solution. The room filled with silence after the Prince had stormed out, fuming and grumbling under her breath. Regis shifted only to run his forehead.

She slowly got to her feet, hoping that she didn't make a sound. However, Regis looked in her direction anyways. Her body tensed under his somber observation. His gaze was softer than before, his voice more tender and trembling. It broke her heart a million times more to see one of the strongest humans shed met in Lucis in such a state. "I apologize, Lightning. I'm a selfish man, I know. Please, forgive me for dragging you down here."

It took a moment for Lightning to find her voice. Through her own sadness, she spoke firm, "I understand, and I don't blame you. I want him to remember but, I think it's best that he doesn't. I'll be gone soon and the less memories he has of me, the easier my absence will be on his being."

Regis's expression changed in that instant. His eyes widened as he asked, "If you don't mind my asking, where are you going, Lightning?"

A sigh escaped her lips and she sat back down. Her hands wrung in her lap again and she looked at the floor, "I think it's better you sit down for this."

* * *

Noctis had found himself hiding in a place he didn't think he would end up—that secluded are Lightning had taken him to earlier that week. He'd taken up to sitting on the large boulder as the lights in the city began to mirror the stars in the sky. His legs dangled over and his hands lay in his lap as he stared aimlessly into the sea of lights. He half expected Lightning to emerge out from the trees and hop onto the rock next to him. That would just prove his terrible luck.

He sighed. He knew it was unfair to blame Lightning because she was the only one not intentionally throwing herself in his direction but, she was grating on his nerves regardless. Noctis couldn't stand the way she would look at him. It wasn't like she was frowning and pouting, letting the whole world hear and see her sadness. It was her eyes, instead. It didn't take a genius to figure Lightning was upset. She surely wasn't crying openly in front of everyone but, the longing in her eyes every time they made the slightest of eye contact was overwhelming. It wasn't his fault he couldn't remember! It wasn't his fault! His fists curled into fists at the thought of his own helplessness. It wasn't easy with his family and friends lecturing and shouting at him either. They weren't much help.

His father had pushed too far. Why did it bother everyone so badly that he wasn't going to end up with some common person? From what he had seen, she was just an ordinary woman. The only strangeness about her was the color of her hair (and of course, the unfamiliarity but, he couldn't help that). At this point, he didn't think her to be much more memorable than any other girl.

A rustling from the brush and he turned to see who'd followed him or was about to stumble upon him. Blonde locks, thankfully, replaced pink and out of the dark foliage tumbled his friend, Prompto. The gunner had been the most helpful of his friends and he didn't think he could've survived an unbelievably boring stay in the hospital wing had it not been for Prompto.

"Noct, we kinda figured you would eventually find this place—"

"Lightning showed me. I didn't remember it on my own, Prompto."

"Oh," his clear disappointment made Noctis look back out over the city of Insomnia. He sighed and Prompto clambered ever so gracefully next to him. He was hoping Prompto would cry like she did yesterday. Breathless, Prompto huffed out, "Hey, I know everyone's been on your case lately, you know, about the engagement thing...are you okay?"

"What do you think?"

Prompto put his hands in his lap, mirroring his glum friend. "I mean, like, I'm trying to ask you what you really feel. You know, er—What are you thinking about it all?"

Noctis roughly tousled his own hair in angry contemplation before answering. There was a clear irritation in his tone when he spoke. He hated the fact that Lightning was seemingly everyone's biggest idol and that he couldn't escape her.

"I hate it, Prompto. I'm trying my best and everyone is attacking me. I can't remember Lightning right now. I'm might not ever remember her. The only person that understands me is the one person I can't stomach seeing and the only reason I can't stomach seeing her is because everyone else is shoving the past down my throat!"

"Noct, I'm...sorry, you know? I hate seeing you like this. It really does bother everyone that you and Light are apart."

Noctis shot him a look. The blonde ruffled his hair and sighed before leaning back on his hands, staring into the sky. "I'll try to tell them to let up on you. No promise they'll listen, though."

The Prince groaned, "I just don't understand why everyone is so invested..."

At that moment, Noctis voice dropped low, truly confused as to why they all had their two cents to give him. Prompto pursed his lips in thought, trying to figure out what to say without setting him off. The last thing he needed was for Noctis to shut him out completely. From what Gladio had told him, Noctis and he were not exactly on speaking terms as of this morning. It had been much of a fight, either but somehow the Gladiolus knew Noctis wouldn't be quick to speak to him after how harsh they'd been to one another. It wasn't easy for Noctis to admit defeat, it wasn't easy for Noctis to show weakness—it was something he detested wholeheartedly.

"I can't speak for everybody, Noct," Prompto started, slow and careful. He tried to gauge the expression on his face in the moonlight. "Light has helped all of us. She's important. We were all rooting for you two, and you guys were so disgustingly happy it was...nice. It's been a rough year with the war and all...it was just nice to see you guys smiling."

The two sat together in deafening silence. There was so much Noctis was thinking about. He was juggling all these emotions inside of himself and he couldn't express any of them other than frustration and anger. A part of him wanted to remember, another wanted to forget everything. He wanted to scream and kick and yell and curse out all of his frustration but he knew it wouldn't help. Nothing was helping. He was stuck living with a fragmented memory. It was irritating that he had only forgotten her. It was just her.

Why couldn't he remember her?!

"It's not like it matters anyways. She already made up her own mind, Prompto. She's leaving."

Prompto's whole body tensed at the statement. He recalled his previous conversation with Lightning that week, a sadness overwhelming him to he point of tears. He didn't cry though, he didn't want to further upset Noctis. Instead, he swallowed the lump forming in his throat, and sighed, "...I know."

* * *

 **Okay, so here's something to look forward to. How about a happy chapter?**

 **yeah? just a little something cheerful and short to help soothe any frustration?**

 **Okay, I hear ya. Just a little treat. Then, back at it again with the angst train. After that, a one way ticket to Feels Town with maybe a minor detour to Sin City...**

 **Okay! Enough of the train metaphors. See y'all next time! Don't be shy to review either, I love reading what you have to say even if you don't have anything to say about the story just tell me how you feel about the game. Oh man, are you guys pumped?!**

 **follow me on tumblr: aranea-hi-ghwind**

 **lets chat and fangirl. Yell at me to update, too. (It makes me write more.)**


	6. Pink Queen

**Y'all didn't think I would leave you in these type of anticipation without writing up a second chapter because I not only felt guilty but, in celebration of UNCOVERED? Like I already love "Stand By Me" and now that it's the theme song, I want to cry so many tears because I know the friendship is gonna be so fucking strong that when Square tears up our feels, I won't be able to recover for a while.**

 **This is set in events preceding the story. So, the short and sickeningly sweet bonus chapter I promised you. :3 (I hope this gives you all cavities.)**

 **I kind of flip-flop between POV's because this was supposed to be a concentrated chapter of fluff.**

* * *

 _One._

"Noctis, c'mon, leave me alone."

 _Two, three._

"Seriously, I'm going to punch you."

 _Four...five, six, seven._

"Noct..."

 _Eight, nine._

"You're so annoying!"

 _Ten, eleven._

 _Twelve and, "Thirteen..._ " He said, smirking and leaning back to see her face. She was pouting and had her arms crossed, red dusting her cheeks. What little lipstick she was wearing, successfully smeared and Noctis couldn't help but laugh at how disheveled she looked. Lightning narrowed her cerulean blues, sending daggers his way, "Are you done?"

His arms on either side of his body were the only support he had from completely laying on top of her. He liked this position best because no matter what she did, she'd never be able to escape him from smothering her with kisses. (Of course, that's what she let him believe because she could easily toss him into the floor anytime.) Noctis lowered himself and rested his head on her lap, a contented smile on his lips. He hummed, "Never." His arms slid under her waist and Lightning huffed. He was being awfully cuddly tonight.

"What's gotten into you, Noct?"

"Can't I hug my girlfriend?"

"This isn't hugging, this is smothering."

Noctis pounced back into his previous position, completely offended by her lack of compassion. His cobalt eyes narrowed, "Are you saying you hate when I kiss you?"

She rolled her own eyes, "You're just acting... _weird_."

He sat up and flopped next to her on the bed, crossing his arms, mirroring her pose. Though, his expression was fraught with a false expression of hurt, his tone suggested he was in a teasing mood. "Fine, I just won't kiss you anymore."

"Noctis, quit being dramatic," she turned her head and eyes him through her rosette bangs. However, his gaze remained fixed ahead and his profile gave away his pout. She sighed again, "You're acting like a little kid right now."

"Well, this little kid is your boyfriend."

"Gods, please don't ever phrase it like that," Light scrunched her nose at the implications that sentence might have out of context. She sat up to get a better view of her, at the moment, pouting lover. He was never this weird and certainly not this dramatic and she wondered what had gotten into him. Even earlier when they had been attending the celebration for Lucis's day of independence, he'd been acting strange. He had spent all morning in the tedious and traditional ceremonies that the Royal family members must partake in to remember the day that Lucis had become an independent country. It was a day that the whole country could try and forget about the nasty war that raged outside its boundaries and appreciate their homeland. The gala event that took place within the castle walls was when Lightning couldn't understand Noctis's behavior. He wouldn't leave her alone after he had found her in the crowd.

It hadn't been bad like that since before they'd started seeing each other. Generally, in the past, Noctis would have never been so forward in his affection towards her at a public event; he had broken off his engagement to Lunafreya about a year ago, but it wasn't clear why he did such a thing. The engagement had been political so it didn't make much sense that he was breaking it off, especially when he had known Luna most of his life. Of course, those closest to him knew the reason was because of the pink-haired beauty that he was currently teasing.

He sat up and turned his back to her, slapping his hands onto the dark fabric of his slacks. Finally, Lightning said, "It's not about what I said earlier is it?"

"Huh? I don't know what you're talking about." She saw how he froze and shifted uncomfortably. A smirk spread across her lips and she could practically hear the shaking in his voice. He couldn't even turn to face her. So, it was about _that_.

"Really? Because you've been acting strange ever since."

"Light, I have no idea what you're talking about," he tried to retain a cool tone. Where had his teasing lilt gone?

She shuffled towards his back, sliding her arms around his waist and placing her chin on his shoulder, "So, I see we've developed amnesia now. That's quite a shame, too, because I do recall some pretty racy promises in that same conversation." A puff of warm breath tickled his neck as she sighed, "Though, you wouldn't remember what I'm talking about, would you, Noctis?"

He wriggled out of her grasp and into a standing position, leaving her on the bed, messy like he left her. His ears were red and a little blush crept up his neck and onto his cheeks. His voice dared to crack in front of her, "D-Don't do that!"

She covered her mouth in hopes that a laugh wouldn't escape her because he looked absolutely adorable when he was flustered and embarrassed. She flung her legs and dress skirts over the side, sitting up straight. She crossed her arms, "You're the one who was kissing me earlier, yet you can't even handle a little breath on your neck?"

"I wasn't trying to seduce you, earlier!"

"You were just smothering me, and I wasn't trying to seduce you for your information."

"No, I was—ugh, you're impossible, Light," he groaned and wiped a hand down his face.

The pink haired woman snorted out a bemused laugh, "Wouldn't be the first person to say that."

"Hey, I wasn't insulting you!" His hands went up in defense and she shook her head.

"I wasn't offended. Geez, Noct, are you sure you're alright? It seems like your nerves are everywhere..."

Noctis began pacing, then, and the more he walked around the room, the more concerned Lightning became. He'd only ever acted like this when he was holding in some problem. She knew it had something to do with their earlier conversation at the party and she knew that he was troubled by it, but why was another story. Then, his footsteps halted abruptly in front of her. She waited for him to speak, his hand shoved in the pockets of his slacks, shoulders high up near his ears. He was rigid when he spouted out, loudly, "Light, I don't think you should be my girlfriend!"

 _"What?"_

"You said earlier how much you hated being treated at the party like 'some foreign degenerate' and I thought...maybe, you wanted to...leave..." His head fell and his tone lost all of its previous lightness. "I thought...maybe you hated it here and I don't want you to feel like I'm keeping you here, but..."

 _"But?"_

"I want you to be happy."

Silence filled the bedroom and Noctis's shoulder fell as the seconds ticked by. He didn't hear the rustling of the sheets as she stood up and the padding of her feet as she crossed the floor. Her hands found his face, with a gentle touch you wouldn't expect of a powerful warrior like her, pushing his head up to meet her icy blue gaze. "Why would you even think that I would want to leave Lucis? Why would you think that would make me happy?"

His eyes fell from her's and through his slightly squished lips he mumbled, "Gladio told me you missed your home..."

Her hands fell from his to his shoulders and she sighed, "Of course, I miss where I came from, who wouldn't? I miss my sister, and I miss that big oaf of a fiancé she had...and I miss everyone I knew back then. But, you're my home now, Noct. You, the guys, Luna, your dad...you're all my family now, and you're an idiot for thinking I would leave that behind!"

His arms found her before he had the chance to speak, as if they were working of their own free will. His heart was soaring and his stomach was doing backflips. He had only wanted her to stay, apparently that meant he was going to latch onto her until she realized she couldn't leave. He had known he wanted Lightning since she tossed him over her shoulder, right after he'd tried to use an "Argentum Certified" line on her. He had quite literally fallen head over heels in love with her.

The first time he kissed her was when she was angry. It wasn't his best move either because she slugged his jaw for that. Prompto said he was nuts for going after a woman that could kill him with her bare hands. He didn't mind that, it was one of her best qualities.

Lightning had wiped her lips with the back of her hand after he kissed her. She hadn't kissed anyone since she was a teenager, and it was to some boy that thought she was "hot to trot" (He said this with his own mouth, mind you.) The response was somewhat similar on her end. Although, instead of some high school, acne riddled teenager calling her a bitch, it was some idiotic prince who complimented her right hook.

The second time the two of them locked lips was a much more appropriate time. Etro's Eve was upon them, the snow was falling, and the twinkling lights in her eyes made his heart gooey. She shivered in the cold and when he offered to grab her a coat, she didn't say no. (Lightning would claim it was out of necessity, but Noctis swears it was because she liked him a little.) Her fingertips peeked out from the sleeves and the coat enveloped her smaller frame, giving her a more disarming appearance. Noctis couldn't help but go pink in the face at the sight of snowflakes landing in her hair as she donned one of his own coats.

Someone, most likely Prompto or Gladio (or both), had planted mistletoe above an archway in the castle courtyard, Lightning had pointed upwards and acknowledged the poisonous plant. He laughed and explained the tradition of kissing beneath mistletoe. She had eyed him suspiciously. Noctis said they could ignore it, but (literally) a voice told them they had to.

 _"You have to kiss!"_

Some small Lucian noble's daughter, a pout on her face, and a candy cane dangling from her lips. She'd wandered out into the courtyard from the party that was taking place inside the palace's ballroom. Her stubborn expression told them that she wouldn't leave until they followed tradition. Lightning turned to the prince and gripped the front lapels of his suit, tilting her head just enough to place a chaste kiss on his lips. He had no time to respond before she backed off and the nameless little girl, pigtails flouncing, skipped merrily back to the party.

The third time followed quickly after the second. Noctis and Lightning stood under the mistletoe for quite some time that night.

Now, he was was holding her, reassured that she didn't want to leave. That was all he needed to know that he was right in wanting her. It was absolutely selfish how happy he was that she hadn't agreed with him. Noctis didn't really know what he would've done if she had said she wanted to search for the past life she had. A sharp pain in his left shoulder pulled him out of his reminiscent thoughts and she grumbled, "Were you trying to get rid of me, Caelum?"

She'd managed to deliver a small but stinging pinch to his arm and he hissed, "No, I...sometimes I wonder if you really like being here."

Her hands trailed back up to the sides of his face, fingers curling into his surprisingly soft hair, pulling away from his chest to face him, "You can't get rid of me, no matter how hard you try. You're stuck with me, now," she said with a smile. It was one of those true oh genuine smiles she would save for moments like these. The type of smile that could brighten up his worst days and seeing the gentle curve of her lips made his knees weak. "Fourteen?" This time she pulled him close enough for her to kiss. The beating of his heart in time with her's and it seemed like they were in that moment, trailing hands and soft gasps, for an eternity. Noctis pulled away, breathless. Their foreheads remained touching, pink strands clashing with his dark locks. "I'm sure of it—I don't want you as my girlfriend."

"Ruining the moment..." She grumbled.

"I'm serious, Light."

Her arms around his neck loosened their grip as she pulled away to give him a testing glare, "What? Would you rather have me as your Royal Mistress?" The teasing lilt in her tone returned as she looked on his reddened features.

He said, quite surprisingly steady, "I want you to marry me."

"Very funny, Noctis," she gave a forced and unbelieving laugh. When he didn't return the gesture she stuttered out, "Y-you don't really want to marry me, do you?!"

His hands left the small curve of her back to shove themselves into inner pocket of his suit jacket, retrieving the small metal object. It was by no means small for a ring, it was the ring his father had given his mother and his father's father had given his grandmother...

"So, will you? Marry me, I mean."

"Noctis..." Lightning didn't know if she was still standing or sitting or shed passed out and was dreaming but there was absolutely no way that Noctis Lucis Caelum was standing before her asking her to marry her. She wasn't a princess or queen material. She had figured that he would eventually find someone more suited to the position of being at his side, like Luna, and had already accept the chance that she might have to watch him we'd someone else. She had small hopes every now and again, but she figured their love was to be cut short in order for him to secure a wife suitable to be queen. There just couldn't be reason to think that he would see her as such a woman.

"Please, say yes, because you look like you're about to cry and I'm not sure if that means you're upset with me. Oh gods, I messed up, didn't I? I told Prompto and Ignis it was too soon. Ugh, I should've listened to my Gladio and waited a little longer—" he was frantic and the pink dusting his cheeks, grew to a crimson red as he continued to ramble on at light speed.

"Yeah."

"Wait, yeah as in 'Yeah, you should've waited.' Or yeah as in—"

"Yeah, I want to marry you, Caelum."

"Really?!"

"No, not really," she mocked. "Of course, I want to marry you."

"May I?" He held up the ring and she brought her hand around so that he could slide the ring onto her finger. It was heavy and a bit loose. "I can always have them resize it later."

She wiggled her fingers around and the ring felt awkward but, it made her smile nonetheless. "Doesn't Lucian law say you can't bed me until our wedding night, or something like that?"

"Wait, hold on," He snatched her hands, trying to wriggle the ring off, "We can always get engaged later!" Lightning slid her hand out of his grip and backed away towards the mattress.

"Excuse me! You already gave me the ring, and I think that we should honor tradition, don't you? So, it takes months to plan a royal wedding, don't you think? Let's say eight, and then there's the actual date which would probably be in the Spring time, isn't that the luckiest time? Looks like you'll be waiting a whole year, Caelum."

Noctis crossed the room, following her retreating figure. "So will you."

"There's nowhere that it says I can't get a mistress!"

"A mistress?"

"Well, whatever the male equivalent is, Noctis. You get the gist," she remarked, the back of her knees hitting the edge of the mattress. With nowhere to run, Noctis narrowed his eyes, just the thought of Lightning with someone else made his skin crawl. It didn't matter if she was joking, it still made him uncomfortable and angry to think about. He couldn't picture himself with anyone else and he couldn't picture her with another. It was just him and her. He swooped down and slid one arm under the bends of her knees, and another around her torso, effectively sweeping her off her feet. She crossed her arms defiantly. "What are you going to do, now?"

"I'm about to break some rules, Farron."

She snorted, "Sounds scandalous."

The next thing she knew her body hit the cool satin of his sheets, his body hovering over her, in a position they had started out in. "Hey, you're not actually going to get a mistress, are you?"

Her eyes met his and her arms wrapped around his neck, she loved the slightly worried expression he had on. At the end of the day, no matter how hard he tried to put on his little facade of being a cool Prince, he was just as insecure as anyone else. She laughed a little before kissing him once more. "Fifteen," he habitually counted.

"Noctis, you're gonna be the death of me, you know?"

As his hands slid up the sides of her dress, revealing her creamy soft skin, he mumbled into her shoulder, "You love me anyways."

She sighed, it was true. Pulling him upwards again, she pulled him close to taste his mouth, committing it to memory.

 _to die by your side_

 _well the pleasure, the privilege is mine_

* * *

 **OH NO, THAT WAS TOO SWEET FOR ME TO WRITE AND NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK INTO ANGSTVILLE**

 **I HOPE THAT THIS SOOTHES THE LITTLE SADNESS EVERYONE BECAUSE I FIGURED WE NEEDED A LITTLE BREAK.**

 **Okay, don't get used to that type of cheese because we have to get back into the angst before we get more happy interludes. *sigh***

 **I look forward to hearing what you have to say about the chapter. See ya soon! Love you all!**

 **tumblr:** aranea-hi-ghwind


	7. Coral Rose

**Oh, heck, I really need to find time to write more for this story because I have such heart wrenching scenes planned for this. Also, I'm thinking a rating change may be in order, soon...**

 **again, you guys flatter me so much in the comments and I love seeing your reactions and it makes me wanna write more. I've been so busy but now that summer is in full effect, I should be updating more...(no promises, though, I'm pretty sure writer's block will be how I die.)**

 **(Sorry for the long wait, I know everyone was super jived about the last two chapters.)**

* * *

As a child, Noctis had grown accustomed to walking the halls of the castle, left to his own devices. He was used to being left alone. Sometimes, he even preferred it as he began to grow and realize that he was losing less and less of his own personal time. Now, as an adult, he was hardly ever left alone; the war continued on outside of Lucis, the intensive training he'd forgone to hone the powers of the crystal, and his...well, his engagement. Piled on top of his responsibilities as the Crown Prince, he welcomed solitude when given it. Especially now. He knew his friends and father were just trying to help, but they were grating on his last nerves.

He was tired of them talking about Lightning. He was tired of them hounding him to remember forgotten feelings and memories that were no longer there. He was tired of being drilled about his engagement. They just wouldn't let up. They continued to dig at the wound and like a cornered animal, he snapped at them. Noctis didn't want to yell and scowl and be unpleasant, but they were forcing his hand.

His feet dragged along the long intricately woven designs of the runners that went down the length of the halls. His hands were shoved in his pockets, eyes downcast hardly registering the swirls of gold and navy on the carpet. His shoulders felt heavy with the burden that he might never escape this nightmare of "Remember, remember, remember!". He frowned because it seemed his mind continued to dwell on Lightning Farron as well. She just wouldn't leave. Perhaps her absence from the castle would be for the best as he remembered she was leaving in a little over a week's time.

Then, he remembered what he had promised her. _A drink._

Gods, did he need one of those. (Or a few.)

Looking upwards, he cursed the fates as his eyes trailed long legs to a familiar body that he knew to be the woman on everyone's minds. Her eyes were shut as she leaned against the wall across from his bedroom door, a steady rise and fall of her chest told him she may have fallen asleep. Noctis was standing too far to slip into his bedroom and too close to turn away now. Instead, for whatever reason unknown to him as he'd previously expressed his gratitude earlier for her departure, he looked at her face. Truly examined her features as if he'd never seen them before today. His eyes traced the gentle curve of her lips and he felt something stir within like a desire to feel his own against hers. A feeling he quickly squashed by clearing his throat and announcing her name.

She snapped her eyes open, roused from her sleep. She stood tall, pushing off of the wall. "I wasn't sleeping!"

"I didn't ask," he felt a tug at the corners of his lips that he fought. He was amused by how disarming she appeared, like she'd been caught red handed and she had denial written on her face. "You still want a drink after what happened earlier?"

Lightning ran a hand through her hair, "I need one after that...actually."

Noctis shoved his hands further into his pockets because he wanted to repeat the action but with his own.

 _Oh, gods, what was wrong with him now?_

One minute he was hoping Lightning would just fucking leave already, and the next his hands were clammy with anxiety because she was around him. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stifled a yawn and Noctis mentally berated his conflicting emotions. Her mere presence had thrown his entire thought process out of whack. It did that when she was around like his mind couldn't recall her, but his body did. It was a tug-of-war between himself and he detested the feeling.

He stepped between her and the doorway, opening the ebony door, stepping aside for her to follow. To his mild surprise, she hardly looked uncomfortable in his room. Her pink hair and pale skin stood out against the dark curtains as she crossed over to the cabinet near the balcony. She crouched down to eye the contents of the liquor he'd stored in there since his rebellious teenage years. Noctis wasn't sure if he should shut the door or keep it open, but settled on open just in case a hasty retreat was necessary. He stood awkwardly as she grabbed one bottle and a pair of glasses and stood, only to shut the cabinet with her leg.

The golden hued alcohol pouring into the crystal glasses was the only sound in the room and Noctis felt himself welling with anxiety at the situation. For one he was mortified that his father had stood there and made such a scene. For another, he was currently having drinks with the cause and source of his pain and misery. He really wished he could take his dad's car and drive off a cliff, and never have to deal with anything again. She held the second glass out to him and the slight shake of her hand told him to make haste in grabbing it from her.

She took no time in downing her own glass and going to pour herself a second, and he scratched the crystal with his thumb before clearing his throat. The sound caused her to look in his direction. His voice finally reached him as he started with, "I'm sorry that... _that_ happened."

Pressing the rim of the glass to his lips, he could taste that sharp and fiery liquid that she'd chosen; she was clearly in need of something as strong as what he had hoped for, thankfully.

Lightning rolled her eyes and tossed her bangs from her eyes, "Funnily enough, that's not why I need this drink." He locked eyes with her over the edge of his glass and she leaned against the cabinet, "Don't worry, it's not about our past, either."

Noctis walked over to the divan set near the fireplace in his room, and sighed. Lightning took a place on chaise lounge across from him, bottle in hand before settling it on the ground as she sat. She was far too comfortable leaning back on arm, flinging her arm over her forehead and the other dangling, glass in tow.

Noctis sighed, "Should I even ask, then?"

Lightning didn't move much, but answered anyways, "If it's anything, I really don't want to talk about it. We don't have to talk at all, actually."

He chuckled half-heartedly at that. He reached for the bottle to pour himself another glassful and said, "You're about the only person in this godforsaken palace that isn't telling me to talk to you."

She held her empty glass up in response to that and he filled it halfway. She sat up to drink, "I think I should apologize for that."

"It's not—"

"It's entirely my fault," she frowned. Her words were sure, steady in the belief that she was the problem. Noctis bit the inside of his cheek at the response. He had wanted to say something along the lines of _"Don't say that!"_ And yet, he couldn't bring those words out into the air between them; something held him back from such a defense. Noctis had ingrained it into his head that she was at fault, or at least ingrained it into his head that if she didn't exist, none of this would have happened. Hell, he could be married to Luna by now if Lightning hadn't suddenly appeared in his life. He knew it that if Lightning wasn't in his life that he would be nursing his wounds and not his broken memory.

So, to bring himself to say it wasn't her fault was impossible. Even if it was wrong to place blame on her (and boy, was he ready to place blame on her) Noctis needed to blame her. He needed to find a scapegoat and pin all the blame on them. She was the unfamiliar presence and putting the target on her back seemed easy.

Lightning's voice brought his thoughts crashing back down, "Can I ask something of you?"

"Sure." _Why not?_

Her eyes stared down at the amber in her cup, swirling as she stirred it with a fluid motion of her wrist, "Would it be alright...if tonight I wasn't your ex-fiancé, tormenting your life by being present in it?" A smirk tilted her lips upwards, "And if you weren't the Prince with amnesia? Can we just be two people sharing a drink?"

With this she looked up, a need in her eyes to be understood and Noctis swallowed hard. It could've been the flushed feeling in his face but he couldn't concentrate when she looked at him like that. This woman who had the bane of his existence these past days looked at him with the same amount of exhaustion as he had for the matter. This woman who he'd pegged as the enemy set out to make his life a living hell by parading around in his presence could look like she had been defeated. It knocked the breath out his lungs.

Not in the way that you feel like you're light headed and floating, but in the way where your chest tightens and you feel like you've been kicked in the ribcage. She swallowed the rest of her own drink and grabbed the bottle for a refill, and Noctis was beginning to forget how many they had already had. He wasn't drunk, not yet, but he was sure he'd be soon if he kept up this steady pace. (If he was being completely honest, he wasn't trying to be slow in this endeavor anyways.)

It was most definitely the effects of the alcohol as his mind's soundtrack played on repeat: _You're a dick! You're a dick! You're a dick!_

It was true. He'd been nothing but nasty towards Lightning and she'd been the only one willing to let the whole mess go. Now that he was getting to dwell on the matter, she was the only person he felt he could talk about the issue with. Everyone else saying it made him angry and lash out, but when she spoke about it, he felt guilty. He felt nothing but an urge to apologize...which usually led to him being angry but that was beyond his point. He realized that the only reason he really despised her was what other people had been saying to him or telling him to do. Lightning had been nothing but gracious save for the tears that she'd shed.

And he'd been nothing but an ass!

He opened his mouth to apologize, but she beat him to it. "I'm sorry, that's stupid..."

She'd draped herself back over the chaise and a red blush dusted her cheeks. Her long legs crossed at the ankles and her free hand toying with the strands of her bangs. The profile of her lazily playing at her hair made his heart flutter in his chest and his stomach twist. Something vaguely familiar about the position ran in his head but he could barely grab for the memory before it faded away.

It was odd. A lone, fuzzy puzzle piece that was more hazy than clear and more a feeling than a scene. He could remember her languidly entangled in his bed, reading in the middle of the day but looking nothing like she had now. There was no grim expression on her face, but a content one, the memory was small and fleeting and felt like it was far too bright. Like the sun had filled a white room kind of bright, her hair color was the only thing that grounded the memory before it ran from him.

He blinked a few times but it was gone. The residual feeling that it left him with lingered too long. It made his chest tighten and he couldn't resist the heat in his face as he looked at her now. She was gorgeous, no doubt. But, the memory had made her seem like a goddess, an angel in white linen, afternoon sun making her glow.

 _How in the hell was he supposed to make conversation now?_

"I...I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around recently..." He set his empty glass on the table near him.

Her eyes slid in his direction and she scoffed, "I don't blame you. I would be ticked off, too."

He stood now, blood rushing and making him feel dizzy. The room tilted in his mind, but he managed to right himself before falling. He wasn't drunk but he could feel the flush on his face. He rubbed his forehead, "I'm...sorry, anyways."

She looked at him as he stood, feeling obligated to sit up. She'd been too relaxed and realized that her proposition was not realistic. As much as she had wanted to forget about the whole problem and drink her pain into submission, it wasn't possible. She set her empty glass next to his and sighed before standing to meet his height. A shakiness in her legs that had not been present before she sat down made her uneasy.

He started again, a complex expression on his handsome features, "We're in a shit situation, Lightning. I want to blame you but...no matter how many times I try and convince myself it's all your fault, I... _This is just a shitty situation!"_

She stepped closer, testing her limits and knew it was a bad choice because she could feel her resilience wilting in his presence. He was toxic to her strong will. The drink coaxed her to touch his arm, a mistake. Snatching her hand back like she'd been burned, she spoke, "I think this drink was a bad idea."

Noctis' mind agreed with her. His body had a different opinion.

His eyes watched as her tongue darted out to wet her chapped lips, the simple action unsettling his nerves. Her pink hair had fallen over her shoulder and exposed the part of her neck that he had an urge to reach out and trace. He felt his fingers twitch in anticipation, his body responded while the alarm in his head kept blaring home to stop! She was so close he could smell the shampoo she used and the saccharine scent of strawberries made the situation worse in his favor.

Blue peeked up through her dark eyelashes and he swore he would have fallen out of his chair had he not been standing. The whiskey had stripped him of his defenses and he could feel him giving into the odd, but familiar reactions. Lightning was standing close, cheeks rosy from the drink, and giving him no room to think logically. A much more sober Noctis would have run away, a much more sober Noctis would have controlled himself better, but Noctis could feel his resolve crumbling. He battled the thoughts in his head that screamed to back off and his body pulling him towards her.

The way she sighed, wistful and dreamy, made his heart pound louder. How could such a small action make him feel breathless? The alcohol made him much more sympathetic and contemplative than he cared for. While he was mentally berating himself for wanting to grab her and push her up against the nearest wall to kiss her senseless, he was also scolding himself on his recent behavior. He knew there was no basis for his hate but his own stubbornness to accept the truths of his life. He had not given Lightning much of a chance; sure, he had listened to her, but he'd wanted to run from her the entire time.

He steeled himself. He wouldn't run away, even though his logical brain screamed. They were happy, Prompto had said. Lightning was important to him before. The more Noctis dwelled on the matter, the more he realized that his actions were selfish. He had rejected Lightning and he had made a promise to marry her, make her his Queen, and he'd only accused her of being a snake despite her never hinting at that. Everyone, even his own father, trusted her.

Why couldn't he just remember her?

Everything he was dealing with wasn't because of Lightning...it was his own damned fault.

He'd been careless and sloppy and she had saved him on the battlefield. He accused Lightning and broke off the engagement. He had vowed to have nothing to do with her. He was the one who'd forgotten...

His voice found him once more, stuck in his sudden (and drunken) revelation, taking her hands into his shaky ones. (When had they started trembling?) "Lightning..."

Her breath hitches at the sudden contact. Her body tense and he could tell she was waiting for his rejection. The thought nearly broke his heart because she was still so clearly in love with him. She looked at him like the way women in the sappy movies that Prompto would drag him to as "prank" would look at the man they lined for. (Prompto was completely guilty of crying at chick flicks. Noctis couldn't exactly complain because sometimes they were good...) He was oblivious to these things, naturally, but given the situation and the whiskey settling in his system, he couldn't miss it.

He starts again, this time, looking at her directly in her eyes, two clashes shades of blue meeting, "Lightning...I...would it be—can I...um, may I...kiss you?"

Her eyes widened, then searched his face, a clear expression of panic and hope blooming in her face. Lightning swallowed and steadied herself before pulling her hands back to her sides, "I don't think that...is a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because if I kiss you, I'll want more from you," her voice threatened to crack when she met his eyes again. He could see the tears gathering in the corners and he felt that guilt in the pit of his stomach once again. All he'd done is made her cry and not once had she blamed him for the whole mess. She taken on all the responsibility even though she was cracked, emotions slipping through any porcelain mask she tried to cover herself with. Her shoulders stiffened and Noctis could tell she was putting up a wall of defense in her mind. His mind was fuzzy and his heart was racing and his fingers itched to touch her and all he could do was stand there and gawk.

His mouth seemed to have a mind of its own, as if his body spoke before his conscious could take control, " _You can have it."_

Lightning clenched her eyes shut and shook her head, fighting the urge to run her hands in his hair and melt into his touch. It was taking every bit of strength not to take advantage of the situation. "I can't...you wouldn't say this if you were sober."

" _Lightning_..." He said again, low and soft, like her name was a prayer on his lips. She cursed herself for not being able to reel in her emotions as they spilled out. She'd been so much more careful before she'd met Noctis, keeping her heart locked up. Then, he'd come along and ruined her and she knew if she could do it all over that she'd pick the heartbreak every single time. "I...I may now remember how it was before the accident, but every time I see you I feel like I'm stuck a tide—pushed and pulled between two ways of feeling and thinking. Everytime I see you my stomach feels like it's in knots and I wanna puke."

She opened her eyes at the admission, instinctive snark bubbling back up her throat, "Gee, thanks."

He rubbed his forehead, embarrassed that he was so awful at this whole confession business and started over, struggling to formulate it into words that were inherently insulting, "It's just...ah, I just...I can feel a part of me reaching out to you but my mind is screaming to back away. I wanna hate you and this stupid situation, but all I want to do is kiss you right now."

Lightning could feel her heart stop when he said it again. She kept her gaze on her shoes and refused to let his stare, knowing full well that if she looked at him, there would be nothing that could hold her back. His fingers felt cold on her warm face and she closed her eyes, feeling a wetness stream down her cheeks. Noctis' thumbs reached out to wipe the tears on the side of her face and she could feel his fingers in her hair as he lifted her face up to his gaze. She wouldn't look at him.

She couldn't.

Her nostrils filled with his scent, the familiar cologne that surrounded her causing a high that grated on her already fragile self control. Her hands met his chest and she could feel his heartbeat under her fingertips. She should push him away and run out, it wasn't fair for anybody if she let him kiss her.

" _Lightning_ ," his warm breath fanned across her lips and she became painfully aware of just how close his face was to hers. One of his hands traced down her neck, and her body buzzed with desire under his touch. A pressure curled in the pit of her belly and she pressed thighs together because she was ready to slam him into a wall, and strip both of their clothing off. He kept saying her name, baiting her to open her eyes. His lips tickled the flesh of her own and she just needed to leaned in a bit to sate her heady desires. "Open your eyes, Lightning..."

She fisted his shirt and felt the pouring of her heart in her ears. He felt his wandering hand on her hip and suddenly her boy was flush against his own and she was putty in his hold. The way he kept saying her name should be illegal. It was damning her to hell and she was glad to fall again. If she pretended hard enough, she could imagine that he never forgot who she was, that she'd never had to see the light leaving his eyes, feel his blood on her hands. She could pretend that they were still getting married that somewhere out there Serah was smiling. If she pretended hard enough, everything would be fine.

Oh, how wrong she was when she gave into his sickly sweet tone and met his hazy gaze on her. Her breath stuck in her throat as she saw how blown his pupils were, hints of blues and purples fading into crimson around the edges and she could feel that pit of her stomach fluttering. His lips were dangerously close and she licked her lips again. He leaned in and she could feel her body inching closer, her fists grabbing at his lapels.

Just one kiss, she told herself. A small indulgence to sate the fire in her belly. That's all... "Just...one kiss," she whispered as she felt the featherlight pressure touching her lips.

"Noct, guess who's here—! Oh! Sorry! I'm so sorry!" Prompto's voice was like the vinyl record scratching and the tension shattering like a glass, as the two ripped away from each other. Prompto wrung his hands and shrunk under the red glare of his Prince, as he apologized profusely. Noctis dared not look in the direction of Lightning as he stepped towards the door, coughing and feeling his heart in his throat.

" _What_?" His question but at Prompto's sudden intrusion.

He should've closed that fucking door.

Prompto straightened and scratched the back of his head, laughing nervously, "I'll just...uh, I can come back!"

Noctis sighed, irritated now, "It's fine. Who's here?"

Prompto let out a breath, but he knew he would not get off so easily after his sudden unwanted appearance (but his best friend should know when to close doors, honestly) and said, "Luna. Luna's here!"

* * *

 **Are you even surprised that I left you with a cliffhanger again?**

 **man, I'd like to personally apologize for the tease, but it's just not right without a Prompto cockblock scene, amirite?!**

 **Next chapter is being worked on, hopefully, I won't take a billion years to write it. UNTIL NEXT TIME! :D**

 **follow me on tumblr:** aranea-hi-ghwind


	8. White Violet

**By the grace of some god, I finished this bs. (thanks for reviewing even though I suck at updating)**

 **honestly could not have done it without the countdown that** SweetCrazy-DramaQueen **would give me on tumblr. this one is for you dude because chapter 11 can't _come_ soon enough.**

* * *

Prompto had refused to look in Lightning's direction, but he was sure that Noctis was no better an option considering the intensity of Noctis's glare was beginning to bore holes in his forehead. Noctis cleared his throat and shifted for a moment before telling Prompto to wait outside and to _close the door on his way out_. He turned and saw that Lightning had found her seat again and was pouring out another drink for herself. Noctis paused, unsure of how to tread now that there was an elephant in the room.

He scratched the back of his head, not making eye contact in fears he might stutter, "I should go..."

Lightning tipped her glass in his direction and hummed in agreement, clearly just as uncomfortable as he was feeling. He turned on his heels after he said, "You...uh, you can stay... _if you want_ , I mean!" Noctis hastily added, "I'm gonna go now."

He rushed out of his own bedroom, nerves frazzled, mind buzzing, and face flushed. If he had stayed any longer, he was sure he would have made an even bigger fool of himself. He dared not to spare a glance over his shoulder to her as he retreated. Stepping out of the bedroom lifted a tension from his entire being.

Prompto was idling in the hallway, a painfully sorry expression on his features. The Prince barely turned to head towards him before his blonde companion was rushing over, his hands up in defense, spilling forth apologies. Noctis began walking, trying not to let Prompto's pleading for forgiveness reach Lightning. He thought it would be better not to make her feel any more uncomfortable than she was probably already feeling. If anything Noctis was kind of looking for an opportunity to toss himself out the nearest window and forget the entire night.

"Seriously, Noct, I'm so, so, so _sorry_! I just saw the open door and I assumed—"

The dark hair male pressed his lips into a tight line, his cheeks were still burning from the thought of having been so close to Lightning's face and from the drink. Regardless, Prompto walked with him through the castle, begging to be absolved through any acknowledgement.

Noctis rubbed a hand down his cheek, "Look, Prompto, I don't really want to think about it. Okay?"

"But, I mean—"

"Prompto."

The farther away from his bedroom that Noctis had gotten, the more he started to realize what had actually happened in it. He couldn't stop thinking about the way she'd looked, eyes closed, lips parted and waiting for him. What would have happened had Prompto not barged in? _Where would they be then?_

As if on command to his rhetorical thought, his mind conjured up images of the most tantalizing possibilities had they not been interrupted. Her skin probably felt like velvet under his fingertips…

Noctis coughed into his hand.

He wanted hit his head against the wall. Did he want to be with her, in her pants, or did he want her out of his life entirely because his mind was giving him mixed emotions and with an uncomfortable shift, he could tell his body heat had spiked at the thought of his mouth on her, so that was no help there.

Prompto clicked his tongue on his teeth, before sheepishly starting up an innocent conversation, "Ignis is on his way over, too…"

It took everything in Noctis's power not to roll his eyes. _Oh great_ , he would just love to hear what Ignis had to finally say about the matter. He'd probably spout the same unhelpful spiel as everyone before him. It would be long-winded and straight to the point because he knew Ignis would not beat around the bush. Noctis was not looking forward to that at all. It was bad enough that he couldn't figure how he felt about the whole _Lightning Situation_ himself, let alone Ignis throwing a wordy monologue his direction about how he needed to make good on his promise to marry Lightning and _oh gods!_ the morals and- _Oh, gods!_ he really, _really_ wasn't looking forward to it.

Prompto took over leading the two of them through the castle until they reached the front room where Luna had been escorted by a darkly clad Kingsglaive-that one smug looking Glaive with the ridiculous haircut. (Not that _he_ was one to talk…) The Glaive left her side, giving Noctis a smirk as he disappeared from the area. An inkling in the pit of Noct's stomach told him he should have been a little bit more peeved about it, but he let it slide. There was no sense in dwelling on the matter when Luna was to be greeted.

Luna had always been like a older sister that felt more and more like Noctis' mother than his _ex-_ fiancé. He loved her and respected her, but the only time he thought he ever really felt attracted to her in the holy sense was when he was dying to jump into any bed of a girl that looked in his direction, as a hormonal teenager oft does. (He never acted on such impulses; it wasn't very becoming of a Prince, nor was it in his style to look like a thirsty animal.) Noctis remembered when they were younger and they shared a brief summer together, learning things about each other for their future engagement and other than the letter correspondences throughout their young lives, he couldn't say that he ever really felt like he was _in_ love with her.

He knew that Luna was a valuable friend, even at such a young and tender age.

Now, seeing her, a messy braid in her hair, evidence of her traveling to Lucis and a worrisome expression as she held her arms, Noctis wanted nothing more than to hug his old friend. The question of the nature of their engagement and how it had come to an end lingered in the back of his mind, but he chose not to start with that topic.

Luna's eyes shot to him and Prompto as they entered the room and the Oracle was fast to approach their sides. Her arms found themselves around Noctis and he returned the gesture. She pulled back, still gripping his sleeves as if he was going to fly away if she didn't. "Noctis, I'm so sorry I wasn't here sooner. Gentiana had to nearly wrestle me from coming to visit sooner. I—oh, I'm sorry, I'm being rude, are you okay? You're a bit red in the face..."

Noctis shook his head, "I'm fine, Luna...well, I'm as not all there but I'm not dead."

"Ignis, he told me about the memory loss...you do remember me, right?" She tried to pepper in a bit of a playfulness to her words, but her concern overpowered the tone and she ended up sounding more fearful. He nodded, hoping his half-hearted smile would satisfy her.

"Of course."

"He's nearly ready to jump back into the saddle, I'd say!" Prompto interjected, making his presence known again to the two royals. He waved to Lunafreya and she let go of Noctis to wave back. She gave Noctis space before placing her hands in front of her, as properly as Noctis had always remembered her. It was a fact he was glad he could recall at a time like this.

"I hope not too soon...or at least not while I'm here. I'd really like to know that you recover entirely before doing anything remotely dangerous..." She said, but her eyes began to fill up in hesitation as her voice faded down. It seemed she knew more than she let on as her gaze flickered down to the floor for a moment.

An awkward silence threatened to take hold of the conversation had the light click of leather shoes not entered the room a second later. All eyes shifted to the source and Ignis stood in the doorway.

Luna greeted the brunette first and he bowed, completely crossing the room to join the Princess at her side. Noctis hadn't seen his advisor since he'd been bedridden and it was almost odd given that Ignis was almost always at his side in tougher times. The bespectacled man cleared his throat and turned to the Princess, greeting her formally and curtly. He gave a nod of acknowledgement to Prompto and almost entirely ignored Noctis save for the quick glance in his general direction.

"I'm sorry I was late, I was caught up in my reading."

"Nothing too scandalous, eh Iggy?" Prompto jested with a wide smile. Ignis' jaw tightened a bit before relaxing.

"Arousing to the mind, but dreadfully tiresome to the soul, I assure you."

Prompto scrunched his nose up in confusion, not sure of what to make of a cryptic answer like that. Ignis, however, did not miss a beat in greeting the Princess Lunafreya with the cordiality expected of him. As always, he was always made sure every Lucian guest was well taken care of, "It is quite late, Lady Lunafreya, I am sure you would like to rest."

"I am fine, Ignis," she yawned into the back of her hand. Her cheeks dusted pink at the sudden contradictory action. Noctis let out a small amused chuckle.

"It was a long flight…" Luna yawned once more into her hand. Ignis took notice.

"Then, perhaps we should continue this reunion in the morning? Like I said it is late."

"No, no...I'm fine really," Luna put up a hand, but her body yawned again, defying her words. Ignis let out a small chuckle and gestured to Prompto.

"Prompto, would you escort Lady Fleuret to her room? Your bags should already be there, You Highness," he supplied the end in her direction and Luna nodded. Prompto stuck out his arm and stood as straight as possible, a friendly grin on her lips, trying to hide a clearly nervous sweat gathering on his forehead. The blonde young man had only known Luna for a brief amount of time but their correspondence in his youth had always made him shy around her. She was, after all, the reason he'd befriended Noctis.

"Your Highness," he hummed and Luna took his arm graciously. She bid Noctis and Ignis good night and the two of them left.

The air changed much too quickly. A warmth leaving with the two blondes, a tense air filling in the silent room. Noctis shifted a bit awkwardly as he juggled around his options—leave or wait for Ignis to leave. Ignis, however, wasn't planning on letting either of them leave.

"We need to talk."

"You're telling me. I'm not the one avoiding you."

"I...I apologize. I needed to think," Ignis sighed, a grim expression on his face. There was nothing comforting about it and Noctis was beginning to think he really should have tossed himself out of a window before meeting Luna, now. At least he wouldn't have to bear all this uneasiness. "I'm sure you're sick of hearing about...about Miss Farron."

 _Aaaaaaand, there it was._

Noctis could feel the color draining from his face. He would never escape the hell that he'd been placed in ever since he'd woken up. Nevertheless, with as little grimacing as possible, Noctis rubbed the back of his neck and responded, "I, uh, you don't have to say anything about it, Ignis."

"On the contrary, actually. I have to—as your advisor and as your friend—I have to tell you what I think," he crossed his arms, stare piercing right into Noctis' forehead. He continued, tone as even as ever, "I'm not going to lie to you, Noctis. You have enough people filling your head with grandeur. Miss Farron...she's been around for a long time now, and you can trust it from me when I say she's been invaluable to the war effort. I've never met a woman quite like her and I doubt any of us will again."

"Why do I feel like this conversation is headed down a bleak road?"

"Because unfortunately it is, Noct. I don't think it's wise to pursue any relationship with Miss Farron. Whatever may have existed between you two has...faded from your memory and I think it's best that you distance yourself from her. I think...I think with her...upcoming _departure_ , it'd be wise not to grow...attached again." Ignis ended his speech as if he'd been telling him about the benefits of eating vegetables. Noctis felt a pounding in his temples threaten to become worse, the war that had been raging between his emotions making it difficult to form a cohesive thought.

Ignis spoke once again, a finality to his voice, "It would be best, I believe, if you let Miss Farron remain in whatever memories you may have of her... _if any_ , I mean. It's not because I don't care for her, I just...it's easier to let go than cling to the notion of recovering the past."

He'd wanted to hear those words since he'd woken up. He'd wanted nothing more than for someone to tell him to forget it all. Forget this pink haired woman. Forget about the past. He'd wanted nothing more than to feel no obligation about remembering Lightning. A week ago, he'd have wanted nothing more than to hear Ignis say these things to him.

 _And yet..._

"I...I can't do that."

"I would think you to be more than relieved."

"Trust me. I don't get it either, Ignis. I don't understand it. I really don't." Noctis mulled over his next words, a strangely tentative expression upon his features, making him seem more empathetic than he had in weeks. I don't think that I'm in love with her, but I need more time... _I think_."

The expression on Ignis's face was tight-lipped. There was something brewing underneath Ignis's seemingly calm expression, and it only made Noctis feel more hesitant to listen to his brunette advisor. Ignis was handing Noctis a get-out-free card and something felt wrong about it. It unsettled him deep within and he wasn't sure if it was the residual feelings of wanting to kiss her senseless, or how with a single decision, Noctis could simply ignore three years worth of feelings.

Ignis sighed, re-crossing his arms, "If you need to think, why not think of Lightning's feelings as well, not simply your own. Take into consideration that perhaps Miss Farron's leaving is not because she wants to, but because she has to. If you put it like that, it makes easier."

Noctis looked at Ignis and it was like looking at someone he didn't know. His jaw was taut and Noctis had never seen this grim of a look on Ignis's face. It unsettled him.

Ignis's voice was soft, a less stern tone, more like when he was trying to convince himself, "I just want what's best for the both of you."

* * *

Noctis rounded the corner into the hallway leading to his bedroom, more conflicted than ever before. As if the situation could not have gotten more muddled, Ignis had stood before him and told him exactly what he had wanted to hear since he'd woken up. After that almost-kiss, though, Noctis didn't think that's what he needed anymore. It was glaringly obvious that as long as Lightning was around, his chances of forgetting her were nonexistent.

 _She is leaving in a week._

He stopped just before his own door, his hand hovering over the handle as dread filled him. A scraping within himself at the thought of her leaving. He was sick to his stomach at the thought.

 _You should be happy._

But he wasn't. He wasn't happy about her leaving before he could figure out how he felt. He would just talk to her. _Yeah, that'll work._

* * *

She was curled up on the chaise, face buried in cushion, her empty glass lay abandoned on the ground, and Noctis' heart lept into his throat. Her pink hair shaded her eyes but he could tell by the gentle rise and fall of her side that she was asleep. The serene expression on her features made him sigh at the thought of having to wake her up if he wanted to sleep. Her body was oddly contorted and he would probably never forgive himself if he left her like that.

He tried not to wake her, and he doubted she would because she was already breathing so deeply like she had not seen a wink of sleep in months. Noctis slid his arm under her legs and under her torso to carry her body to the mattress. The action felt almost too natural, but he didn't linger on the fact. He figured he'd done this before, carried her to bed, and the thought was enough to make his cheeks grow warm.

He hadn't expected her arms to wrap around his neck and her head to rest on his arm, half asleep and somehow comfortable being moved around. It was cute, he thought.

 _Cute_.

He nearly scoffed at himself. Contemptuous thoughts thrown out, and suddenly Lightning is _cute._

 _The bed, Noctis. Put the lovely woman in the bed._

Rounding the mattress, Noctis tugged the blankets around her and she shifted, half asleep, to accommodate his adjustments. His hands gently lifted her legs so that he could place the comforter over her and when she was fully tucked beneath his covers, he swore she belonged there.

He put a hand over his mouth to hide the yawn that threatened to spill forth and he saw as she turned in her sleep to readjust. For a brief moment, he wondered if she was going to wake up and leave, so he stilled in his tracks. A piece of him whispered at him, tried to tempt him to crawl under the covers and hold her close. The thought was squashed as soon as it had surfaced.

He may have fought the urge to crawl into his bed (surely, it was large enough to comfortably fit both with space in between...) but his resolve faltered as his hand brushed the pink locks of her bangs from her forehead. It felt almost natural as he bent over to place a chaste kiss where her temple was. The trained hairs sprung back into their place when he pulled away, berating himself for being like plucked one of the farther pillows that wouldn't disturb her and stole the blanket folded at the foot of the large bed. He tossed both onto the chaise lounge Lightning had previously draped herself on that night.

Noctis ripped himself from his position at her side and drug his feet towards the light switch.

The room's only light was the moon's rays streaming in through small cracks in the drapes. He'd always liked his room dark. The Prince grabbed his pillow and placed it near the arm before slipping his shoes off and sitting onto the chaise. Noctis slipped his jacket off and threw it towards the divan. He decided it was better that he kept most of his clothing on to sleep, in case Lightning had woken up. He'd rather be caught dead than in his undergarments in front of her.

 _Stupid, she's probably already seen everything! Just shut up and go to bed, count something, just stop thinking about being naked, idiot._

He fell asleep after counting the one hundred seventh chocobo.

* * *

Home.

It's the first thing Lightning thought about when she came into consciousness in the morning.

 _Home._

It smelled like home and she indulged herself as she nuzzled lower into the soft bedding. Lightning brought the blanket to her nose and rubbed the fabric against her face, a small comfort she'd always done when half-awake. Serah used to tease her about it; she used to say it made her look just like a little girl. The pink haired ex-Sergeant smiled at the memory of her sweet sister trying to coax her out of a bed on her day off. Rain pounded against her window; she usually refused to leave her bed because it hardly rained in Bodhum and the only days off she would have in months seemed to always coincide with the gloomy weather. There had been no hope for the younger Farron back then.

Lightning's cerulean eyes cracked openly, slowly at first, letting in the light little by little. The only issue was that there hadn't been any light to adjust to, just a dim bluish gray hue about the room. She slowly sat up as she adjusted the hair that was stuck to the side of her face. Her lips felt stuck together and the inside of her mouth felt a gross stickiness, and she knew drinking last night was a complete mistake.

Dread filled her very body as she took in her surroundings. All the furniture a familiar set up but not as it had been for the past week, she was not in her room anymore.

Her head snapped to her bedside, heart dropping as it remained empty. There had been the briefest of moments that she had actually hoped it had been a bad dream, that she would wake up in bed and nothing had changed. The weeks had drawn out slowly while Noctis was bedridden, and even then she hoped against hope that it was just a nightmare that she could shake away.

Pulling her legs closer to her body, she felt awkward in the bed she once felt at peace. It didn't take her long to come to the decision that she could not just sit on the bed and mope about her problems, but that she needed to take a shower and get her thoughts back in order.

Slipping out of the bed felt like a betrayal of her own body. Every fiber of her being yearning to go back under the down feather comforter and burrow into his familiar lingering scent. _Oh gods, the pillows still smelled exactly like his shampoo and cologne._

Lightning shook her head. She had to be strong! She couldn't be swayed by pillows!

Don't go back into the bed. Don't go back into bed. Don't go back into bed. Don't go back into bed. Don't go back-

"Oof!"

With a little curse, and through messy bangs, she shot a deadly glare in the direction of whatever her feet made contact with that caused her to flail ever so ungracefully through the air. With the reaction of a trained soldier she was able to regain her balance fairly quickly but it didn't save her toe from throbbing in a dull ache. A pair of leather dress shoes lay haphazardly discarded at the foot of the bed, one a little closer to the chaise. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure whose they belonged to.

Noctis, as royally elegant as he could be, was stretched awkwardly on the lounge, on arm bent under his head as he snoozed. It was almost disheartening how easily the sight made Lightning's heart do a little flutter and she frowned to herself for being so quick to forget how she couldn't let that happen anymore. _She had to be strong._

He slept like the dead.

And despite her _so very_ strong will, she found herself crouching near the arm of the chaise lounge, close enough to reach out and touch the unruly dark hair that seemed to fall flat against his head, the gel and hairspray having lost its hold somewhere in the night. She rested her cheek on the arm and sighed, her eyes tracing the sharp curve of his jaw that peeked from beneath his unbuttoned shirt collar. That cute little mole, almost too small to notice unless you were close enough to kiss him- _and boy, did she ever_ -and the curve of his lips and she remembered how close she had come to breaking her stupid vow not to get too close to do that. _No kissing. None of that anymore!_

Her eyes closed and she promised herself that she would move in a minute after she was done being so goddamn wistful.

"You know, you're lot less graceful than you look."

Her eyes shot open.

 _And forget the sound of his voice, woman!_

He shifted and moved his head to look at her, through his eyelashes and Lightning jumped to her feet, turning to hide the clear embarrassment of being caught watching him sleep like a weirdo. She started towards the door and Noctis took notice of this, almost sitting up immediately. He rubbed the back of his neck, yawning, as he said, "Wait, I'm sorry, can you just-" He yawned again. "Wait, a minute…"

She justified her not making out of the room because of his voice. It was still hoarse from just waking up (and man, she did _not_ have a voice kink).

Light heard shuffling and she steeled her expression before turning around. She couldn't have any repeat of last night. _Ever._

He was right there. Standing a hand's width away and she had to stumble back to regain her composure. Her head spun at how close he had been, or maybe it was when she spun around herself? (Or the tiniest of hangovers…?)

He spoke first, a little less gruff after swallowing, "Lightning, I um...I want to apologize. Which, I know is long overdue, in fact...honestly...I wouldn't be surprised if you ignored it."

This was not the time to break down again, she told herself. So, with her head spinning a little, she tried her best not to sound like she was ready to cry, "Where are you going with this?" A little cold, maybe that is what he needed. Maybe what she needed. Who knows?

 _Was the room always this dark?_

Noctis furrowed his brow, "I'm...not entirely sure I will remember you."

"Then, don't force yourself."

 _Where were her socks?_

"Lightning, I don't think you should leave."

"You can't...tell me what to do, Noctis," her voice wavered a little.

 _What did she drink last night?_

Noctis frowned, his tone growing more irate, and he couldn't stand that she was being cold when he was trying to be friendly. Not that he entirely deserved a warm welcome, but she didn't have to completely shut him out. He started again, stepping forward to grab her hands, "I don't know what I want, and I don't know if I'll remember you, but I want to give it a shot. So, just...postpone leaving...I won't stop you, but I just…"

 _His hands were always this warm…?_

"Lightning?"

 _Say my name like that and I won't be able to leave…_

"You're such...a baby...Noc..tis…"

And Lightning saw black again.

* * *

 **oh for the love of everything that is good in this world, I finished this godforsaken chapter when I said I would. jfc I am so tired. I have work in five hours but whatever it is done. WOOOOO**

 **ALRIGHT SEE YOU ALL WHEN FFXV COMES OUT**


	9. Daffodil

**Hey, hey, heeeeey!~ I'll just cut right to the chase: love you all for reviewing, favoriting, following, and everyone that messaged me, know that I see you and I was just super busy with finals this week. ;^;**

 **let's just jump right in...enjoy! (this is my favorite chapter to date and it's also the longest)**

* * *

Noctis couldn't hear what Luna was telling him about; he stopped listening completely a half hour ago and ever since then, he'd zoned in and out of the conversation nodding every once in awhile. His mind could not stop wandering away from their late morning lunch, trailing back to the hospital wing he'd spent weeks. Noctis was not suddenly reminiscent about his bedridden self, but more so (and he was surprised he could blatantly admit this fact) _concerned with Lightning Farron's well-being._

She'd collapsed in front of him and his arms shot out to catch her, sleepiness all but vanishing from his body replaced by heart-pumping adrenaline. She was out cold, and carrying her to the medical wing in the castle was the only mission he could see. (Imagine the shock and surprise on the faces of the gossiping servants when he burst through into the medical wing with an unconscious _ex-fiancé._ )Imagine _his_ surprise when he found himself unable to leave despite the doctors and nurses urging him that Lightning was alright. That they would make sure she was fine. That she was in excellent hands as he should know himself. It took a phone call to Ignis Scientia, who gathered muscle and heart (Gladiolus and Prompto), to pull him away.

Ignis had reminded Noctis of his previously arranged duties as a Prince, as a proper Lucian heir, and as a courteous host of Insomnia. Lady Lunafreya was awaiting their brunch and Noctis had to physically will himself to move away from the area. Noctis couldn't shake the feeling that he should just stay by her side and wait for her to wake up, but Ignis was right. ( _When wasn't he?_ ) At least, he could manage to iron out a few of the wrinkles in his memory concerning both of his botched engagements. (So far, he was two for two in failed engagements. He was clearly going for some sort of record.)

No one escorted him to Lady Lunafreya and he felt sort of burned that the three of _his_ friends were allowed to stay behind and linger to see if Lightning was truly okay. If he didn't get to see her, then by fairness, they shouldn't get to stay behind either. Oh, great, he was beginning to sound like a spoiled child in a pouting session. He shook his head, he had to really sort out his mind. The emotional whiplash was tiresome.

Though, the contempt that had been fueling his distaste for Lightning Farron's presence was long gone, and replaced with an irritation of not remembering the last three year's worth of their relationship. Now that he wasn't completely anti-Lightning, he wanted to know what had happened in the gap memory. Clearly much was being left unsaid on her part and he couldn't understand it entirely.

That was what he was going to talk to her about (finally) until she fainted this morning.

(Which was only making him feel worse. He was such an absolute shithead that he let this woman drink herself to sleep, alone, and now she was in medical care. A fact he felt mostly responsible for and he couldn't pinpoint why exactly, but surely he was the cause of her health be it stress or what have you.)

He should not have been this torn up about it all if it was just a passing infatuation and that was his sole deciding factor. (He had mulled it over when he had hit about seventy-three chocobos last night.) Even if he chose to ignore her presence, and he sometimes wished he had because it would probably save them both a lifetime of heartache, he would still feel this gut wrenching pull towards her. It was the same feeling that made him nauseous before. Now he had pinpointed it, because apparently if you are attracted to someone to the point of horking up your lunch, it's probably real.

 _Nothing says "I love you" like "You make me physically ill, thank you." You really are an idiot,_ he grumbled inwardly as he trudged towards the sun room Luna awaited him. Ignis didn't even blink twice when he gave him the information and shoved him out of the area. Gladiolus and Prompto held no concern for him either. They just showed up as back-up probably. Some friends they were being…

Luna had always liked eating in the sunrooms of the Lucian castle, Noctis could recall her saying it reminded her of the bright Tenebrae mornings. Noctis didn't care all too much for mornings so he couldn't say he quite paid much attention to them when he had spent a brief summer in her home. When he entered the Zalera Outlook, a fancy name for a sunroom overlooking the Lucian gardens, the smell of food invaded his senses and his stomach growled in response.

Noctis realized he had not eaten anything all morning and the hunger pangs were gnawing at his insides. His rumbling was loud enough for Luna to turn around in her chair where she had been casually watching out the windows. She smiled upon seeing her longtime friend and got up to greet him, but a look of worry washed over her as she saw the look on his face. Her tone was as light as air when she touched his arm, "Are you alright, Noctis?"

"Hungry…"

Relief found her as she ushered him to the small table she'd been seated near and when he sat she gestured to the covered platter on the other side of a tiered platform covered in breakfast pastries, oozing cream and jellies just waiting to be devoured. Tea and coffee sat in two separate pots, next to a variety of sugars and creams on a rolling cart that a servant had brought. Briefly he wondered if Lightning would like any of them and he wished he remembered what she liked to eat for breakfast. "I figured you'd be hungry so I took the liberty of ordering you an omelette. I hope that was fine."

Noctis would've eaten a bowl of generic brand cereal, honestly, Luna was just too nice to get him anything less than an actual meal. He thanked her wholeheartedly before digging into the fluffy yellow egg with a fork. She picked up her porcelain tea cup and sipped at it, delighted to see Noctis was healthy enough to maintain a solid appetite.

She watched him over the rim of her cup and with a gulp he swallowed his bite before asking her, "What's that look for?"

Luna shook her head, blonde strands of her hair moving about like she was in slow motion, honestly she looked far too pretty to have just started her day. Noctis hypothesized that Luna was some sort of magical girl who had bewitched her hair to look as soft and light as if it were moving in water, but then again she was probably just using some next level shampoo-conditioner treatment. Her words brought him out of his tangential thoughts, "I was just thinking that I hadn't seen you in so long. It's just nice to see you're okay after hearing that you had been hospitalized, Noctis."

"I...I guess it has been a long time, huh?" He wracked his brain and it was true. He hadn't seen Luna in a little over a year. It was funny how he could remember that and not remember why.

"Lightning has done an excellent job of looking after you, though."

 _Ah, that would explain it._

Her eyes drifted down and when she met his gaze again, she brushed away the subject entirely by asking him about how his father had been. Noctis didn't push the topic and answered as best as he could, grumbling about how he desperately wants grandkids now, and Luna laughed into her hand imagining that conversation. (Noctis omitted the whole _"I want you and Lightning, specifically, to give me grandkids."_ part, though.)

After he had finished, a servant came by to clear the table and left them with with freshly brewed tea and coffee as well as a warmer batch of pastries. Noctis was pulling apart a chocolate croissant, currently, and that when his mind began to wander. Luna's tales of her adventures as Oracle were half-absorbed at best on Noctis and were completely wasted on the man. He sat mostly thinking on how he could make Lightning feel better. He'd been that way for the last half an hour.

Every now and again Noctis would acknowledge that Luna was speaking to him, but the conversation was alarmingly one-sided.

 _Lightning doesn't seem the type to like chocolate...She probably likes fruits. Blueberries? Strawberries? Everyone likes some fruit, idiot. Dragoonfruit? Stop thinking about fruit... Maybe she likes cheese danishes-?_

It took Luna repeating Noctis' name three times before she got his attention, "Noctis?"

He blinked and sat straighter. "What? Yeah, I'm listening."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lunafreya asked.

He shrugged, "I'm fine, Luna."

"You dismembered your croissant and you've barely been listening to me. I know you well enough to know something is weighing heavy on your mind. You can tell me, Noctis, I am here for you."

Noctis wiped his hands clean on the cloth napkin next to his plate and sighed, tossing it back onto the tabletop. He figured it was now or never that he would ask Luna about her stance on the Lightning Situation and why they weren't still engaged. His tongue felt too big in his mouth and the words were stuck in his throat, but he managed somehow, "Luna...I...how...why did we...why did I break off the engagement?"

Her eyes went wide and her lips fell just for a small moment before turning up. The blue in her eyes shone brilliantly in the sunlight and her gaze failed to meet his entirely when she started, "I wouldn't think you would forget that, Noct, but you didn't break off the engagement...I did."

"What?"

She rubbed the sides of her teacup and her small laugh was breathy and forced, "Because despite loving another woman, you were going to marry me for your country and I couldn't have that."

He didn't know how to respond to the admission and he doubted he was supposed to apologize. Luna continued without waiting, saving him from blurting out some sort of apology anyway. "I won't lie and say that I wasn't hoping it was simply a passing attraction, but you were so hopelessly in love with her, you couldn't see me at all and I was standing right next to you."

"Luna, I…" he trailed off into a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing, Noctis?" She smiled even with her eyes watery and glistening. "I have spent nearly three years knowing I made the right decision. You don't need to apologize about this, not ever."

Noctis chewed the inside of his mouth. He couldn't wrap his head around how lovestruck he had been back then. It was like hearing about someone else entirely. "I still hurt you somehow, though…"

Luna shook her head, "She made you happy, Noctis. Once, before I ended it, you had asked me if I wanted to marry you and the honest response I gave back then is the same as the one I'll deliver now. Yes, I did. I love you, Noctis, I do. Things change and so do people and you didn't love me the way I needed you to, to be happy. You're one of my dearest friends and I would do everything in my power to see you are happy. Our marriage was a contract that men about a table thought would be what is best of our two countries, but realistically we didn't need marriage to unite our two nations. I believe that you wanted to marry Lightning out of love. I have never regretted letting you have your happiness, Noctis. _I will never regret it_."

"I really hoped you would've tried to stop me," he said, thinking that maybe it would have saved everyone, including Lightning, heartache.

"You were so very adamant back then, I'm afraid. I mean, I saw it coming, most everyone who knew how the two of you acted around each other did. I wouldn't have been able to stop you even if I wanted to, Noct."

"I was that bad?"

"Like a lovesick puppy, I'm afraid."

"I feel like I should be glad I don't remember. That is just... _embarrassing._ "

"Love is embarrassing, Noct. Those in love willingly let ridicule befall themselves for the sake of making the one that holds their heart, smile; that is love and it is a silver lining in the darkness Eos is enveloped in."

"Oracle mode never switches off for you, does it, Luna?"

"I-I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget…"

It was silent for a moment—a comfortable kind of silence and a smile found itself on Noctis's lips.

"Luna?"

"Hm?"

She smiled, and Noctis felt some of the burdens on his heart lift at the sight. He was glad that even after all these years, he still had Luna to tell him it would be alright. She was right, he loved her, but not in the way she wanted, yet she remained by his side regardless. Luna was stronger than he was, not cowering away and hiding away from her problems, instead confronting them head-on. She didn't hiccup after tragedy, she faced it as best as she could. He needed to do that, too. He needed to face his problem with Lightning. "Thank you."

Luna sipped from her cup after supplying a simple, "You're welcome, Noctis."

* * *

He felt like he was lighter.

And he was on a mission.

After his lunch with Luna, he had decided he needed to talk to Lightning. Finding her had been a whole other matter. (She had already recovered from fainting and was somewhere about the castle, and after a bit of digging around and what felt like a real slap to the head, he found that she had been sent back to her own room.) That's where he had been headed. With a new found resolve to face this situation, as unfortunate as it was, as best as he could.

It was a like the breath got knocked out of his lungs when he saw Lightning. Something about her looked different; Noctis couldn't put a finger on it, but for the first time in a week (and then some) the lurching in his stomach didn't make him grimace in disgust. She rubbed her forehead and wrapped herself up in the light jacket she had on. Her pink hair was tied up into a ponytail that didn't quite contain all of her hair, but _gods she made it look good_. She sniffled and wiped at her nose with the sleeve of her jacket before shoving her hands back under her crossed arms.

She didn't even get to turn around fully before he was bounding up next to her. Lightning's face went from surprise to a downturned expression quickly, and Noctis could tell she looked tired. He cleared his throat, realizing that he had come off a little too eager. It made his hands clammy and he rubbed his wrists as he fumbled out, "Uh, you're fine?"

Coughing, but not in a way that seemed all too concerning, she nodded, "Yeah, all better. Nothing a little Prompto musical number couldn't remedy…"

Right, his friends were probably with her when she woke up. She looked off to the side at the wall to their left and Noctis knew his window for talking was closing if he didn't think fast.

"Um...did you eat?"

She furrowed her brows, "Yeah."

 _Think, think, think, think._

His options were limited. Taking a walk around the castle grounds felt like the worst idea. Last thing he needed was to run into Ignis, only for him to tell Noctis to leave Lightning alone for _it was in their best interests._ He could always go out to the city, but he would have to pull some strings for that...plus he needed his car and only-

"The Glaive…"

Lightning snapped a confused look in his direction and she repeated, " _The Kingsglaive…?_ "

He nodded, and asked, "Do you wanna go somewhere?"

"I…" She recrossed her arms and cleared her throat, before decidedly saying, "I should be resting."

Noctis couldn't let this opportunity pass him by, "I just want to talk to you, but in any place than this ugly old castle, Lightning."

( _And how could she resist a face like that?_ )

"Okay, whatever, fine…" she sighed and he gave a boyish grin. She ignored the gnawing in her stomach at the sight. He was already leading the way, taking her through the winding corridors of the Lucii Citadel, outside, and across the plaza towards the Kingsglaive HQ. There was little conversation to be had between the two. Noctis didn't know what to say (He was still ironing out the flaws in his plans and figuring out how he was going to get out without someone alerting Ignis.) and Lightning was stuck in her own head, berating herself, about how easily she was being swayed by his stupid smile.

* * *

The Kingsglaive were training, or at least, most of them were. About a handful of these elite soldiers dallied around, making light conversation, and Noctis was a little underwhelmed by them. They were supposed to be Lucis's best and here they were _eating Cup Noodles._

It took only but a solid thirty seconds before one of them noticed Noctis and Lightning, hopping to their feet, abandoning their noodles to a bench and snapping into a salute, confusing the Glaives around him before they followed his gaze and reacted in a somewhat similar fashion. Although Noctis was used to guards saluting and standing sentinel, he didn't usually have to dismiss it and he wasn't sure what to do next. "Uh, don't...you can stop doing...that, _please_."

Lightning offered a hand and commanded a simple, "At ease."

They relaxed immediately, one more than the others and Noctis recognized him as the Glaive who'd escorted Luna, and with a smug expression, he wandered over to the two, but focused on Lightning more than Noctis. "What brings the Royal couple to Glaive HQ?"

"Don't worry, I'm not here to watch you toss around your steak knives," Lightning threw back in response.

"Very funny, Sparks, heard you had a little fainting spell this morning, wanna put your money where your mouth is-"

"Oh, shut up, Nyx," a brunette from behind them approached and she smiled at the two. "Haven't seen you two in a while, looking a little rough, there, Light." She had a teasing lilt in her tone and Lightning scoffed the comment away. The Glaive asked, "So, what _does_ bring you both here?"

Noctis found his voice, having been baffled by the interaction before him. He put a hand behind his head as he asked, "I need Glaive help."

"You hear that Crowe, looks like we're actually going to have to do work today."

"What's the problem? Do we have to kill anyone?" She asked as if it were as simple as picking up milk from the store. Noctis forgot the Glaive weren't typical soldiers, and it was the very reason they were given such high clearance, and especially why he needed them to retrieve the Star of Lucis.

"Is the Star of Lucis still under Glaive use?"

"Your fancy car?" Crowe laughed, "That's what you want? _Going on a date or something?_ "

"No!" Noctis nearly yelled, ear burning red, and both Glaives shared a look. He regained his composure and explained, "I just need the keys, and a level of discretion-"

Nyx interrupted, "Ah! So, a _secret_ date?!"

Lightning glared at the taller man, "Just get the car, Ulric."

"What do I get in return?"

"Job security, for one," Lightning retorted.

On Noctis's end, he felt like he didn't exist.

Nyx placed a hand over his heart, feigning to be hurt, "Ouch, how 'bout a kiss instead?" He flashed a devilish smile and Lightning grumbled out, "Sure. With my fist, _definitely_."

Nyx patted his pursed lips and Lightning sighed in slight irritation. Crowe laughed but rolled her eyes, looking at Noctis who was beyond confused, he looked like he had entered the Twilight Zone. She gave a more reassuring contribution to the conversation, "I'll pull the car around, be out there, okay? C'mon, Nyx, let's go get the car." Sh pulled at his blue ribbons attached to the back of his uniform, to which he complained about her stretching the fabric.

* * *

The Star of Lucis roared around the roundabout, sleek as the day he had last seen it. With the subtlety of a tiptoeing elephant, the supercharged Audi R8 slowed to a stop at the bottom of the citadel steps where Noctis and Lightning were waiting. Crowe stepped out of the driver's side, a large grin on her lips as a grumbling Nyx exited the passenger's seat.

She laughed and flicked her the loose strands of hair over her shoulder, "Don't be mad, Nyx, I won fair and square. Maybe next time, you'll get to drive one of the vans on the next mission."

"Keep making fun of me, I'll tell Libertus that you tried drove without a seatbelt and then who'll be laughing after he lectures you for 3 hours?" The taller Glaive shot back and Crowe rounded the car, a smirk on her lips as she held out the keys. Noctis thanked her and she gave a two finger salute.

"Anytime, Your Highness, anytime."

Nyx scoffed, giving a dashing smile in Noctis's direction that would have made even _his_ knees tremble had it not been for the gut wrenching feeling that he ought to strangle Ulric right where he stood. With a little less tact than one would expect of a Kingsglaive, he stated matter-of-factly, "Don't worry about the Princess, Your Highness, I got you covered." Nyx winked.

"Try to show Sparks a good time, Your Highness," Crowe supplied, leaving all subtlety out of her voice.

" _Gods knows we need the break_ …" Nyx mumbled the last bit, but made no effort to really hide his comment as even Lightning narrowed her eyes in the Glaive's direction. He whistled a little before he started jogging away. Crowe followed him, but not before giving the two a thumbs-up approval and an overly exaggerated wink.

Lightning's forehead met her hand at an alarming speed, and with such force that left Noctis absolutely befuddled. She sighed, "I should have strangled Ulric when I had the chance, for Etro's sake."

Noctis cleared his throat, "You know the Glaives well?" Somehow he felt like it was a genuinely stupid question to ask and yet Lightning was ever graceful in her response. Supplying him with an amused huff of air and managing a small upturn of her lips, she said, "I do, in fact. Too well, perhaps...I know them _too well_."

"I'm hoping you're just being vague because they're absolutely crazy and not because you happened to be one of them…"

"They're _undeniably, absolutely insane_ , in fact. But, they can drink a God under the table," she said. When he didn't lose the look on his face, she clarified, "Drautos lets me run their training when he's got better things to do. Ulric loves to test my patience; I love to run his ass into the ground." She crossed her arms, and smiled at the thought of Ulric complaining, " _I can't feel my legs. You're Diablos incarnate you know that, right?"_

"Ah, I see," There was a moment of bubbling envy in his gut at the way Nyx and Lightning interacted, but he told himself that it was just because Nyx seemed to always act like _that_. He didn't peg Lightning for someone who went for someone like that. _Unless she did. Who's to say they didn't? They certainly act friendly enough. It's just teasing words thrown around between two soldiers, Noct, calm down. But, like, what if it isn't?_

Noctis got out of his thoughts when Lightning walked in front of him and into the passenger's seat. He berated himself for not paying attention, because even he was raised properly enough to know you had to open doors for guests.

She rolled the window down, popping her head out, "Are you going to stand there? Isn't sneaking out supposed to be a time sensitive affair?"

"Right."

The car was still running from when Crowe had driven up to the bottom of the citadel steps and Noctis buckled himself in. He hadn't sat in his own car in ages. Not that he enjoyed driving all that much, he much rather preferred someone else take the reins while he snoozed in the backseat, but it was nice to have control over one aspect of his life.

Lightning started the conversation off first as he began pulling out of the gates. "You think driving around in the _Star of Lucis_ is sneaking around?"

He gave her a brief glance that showcased how unsure of his own plan, he really was. It was little comfort to Lightning, who zipped up her thin jacket. He admitted, "I can almost 100% halfway tell you it isn't."

"Yeah, not exactly a low profile vehicle."

"Couldn't exactly ask my dad to borrow his car keys, could I?"

"But the Regalia has seat warmers, and I think I left my favorite CD in the radio…" Lightning crossed her arms and thought back to the last time she rode in the Regalia. She had managed to get her hands on a copy of Charice, the one that Serah used to listen to, and it was probably still in the car radio. (King Regis had problems with giving back her CDs.)

Noctis did a mental double take because it was strange hearing her talk about leaving her things in his dad's car. He had to remind himself that she wasn't a stranger and that his dad was clearly in love with her, too. For the love of Gods, his dad told her to call him Regis, if he called his dad just _Regis_ , he would probably be grounded until he was thirty years old. Lightning propped her elbow on the car door and leaned into her hand, watching the buildings flit by, quiet in her thoughts.

Noctis used the excuse of driving to not say anything, but he wanted to say something. He had to say something. The conversation was dying between them, or it had died. His hands fidgeted against the steering wheel as the silence pressed on him. With a hand he turned on the car radio. It was an upbeat tune ( _thankfully_ ) and the lyrics were familiar enough for him to recognize that it was an older Yuna song. One he hadn't heard since he was a first year in highschool.

He knew this one because Prompto liked to sing it during gym class when they were running and Noctis was grumpy (Because who liked running? _Prompto_ , he liked running.)

Lightning slid her eyes over to Noctis through the cover of her bangs, and sure enough his lips were moving ever so slightly in perfect synchronization with the singer's lyrics. She fought the smile by pulling her lips into her mouth and tearing her gaze away and back out the window. She was sulking. She was playing the reluctantly dragged along ex-fiance. She was doing a shit job of keeping her emotions in check and the more she sat in his car, listening to songs that reminded her of nights spent having a blast with Noctis and his friends, and simply being near him, the less she could remain detached.

 _I don't know, Yuna, what can I do for you? Why don't you say something to Lightning? That's probably what you could do for Yuna._ Noctis argued with himself, and wishing that this song was an absolute banger. _Gods, I have to have Prompto shot for making me this stupid mixed CD._

"You have any clue where you're headed, _Your Highness_?" She said suddenly, crass as usual.

He stuttered out, "Uh..um...I actually... _I don't really know._ "

"You don't know? You dragged me out just to drive around? I should be in bed, you know? Doctor's orders and all of that."

"Well, it was an impulsive decision." Noctis wasn't exactly known for his great sense of planning and while that made for an exciting life, it also made for a messy one—thank the gods Ignis was around or else Noctis wouldn't be able to find his head if it weren't attached to his body.

Noctis didn't know where he was going, he was in autopilot, because his mind was racing a mile a minute. _What do I say? What should I do? Don't look so damned nervous! It's not like you've never talked to her before—good gods, man, pay attention to the road! Try not to kill the both of you…_

"—Prompto make this playlist?"

He zoned back in when he realized she was talking to him, and he gave a shot in the dark by answering with an uncertain, "Yes?"

She gestured to her face, "You know when you zone out you get this look on your face." With a bit more amusement in her tone, she added, "Almost like you're going to drool at any moment."

Turning the wheel, Noctis feigned offense as he scoffed, "I _don't_ drool."

She responded with nothing but a sharp exhale through her nose before she went back to looking out the window. Noctis continued to think while he drove. His talk with Luna had invigorated him to find the courage to confront his _Lightning_ _Situation_ head-on, but he couldn't formulate any of the words stuck in his mind. He still felt a touch of uncertainty, but nowhere at all close to how he had felt when he had first awoken. The other night had been an eye opener and although he felt attraction to Lightning, he wanted to make sure it was just purely physical because up until now, all their interactions had felt unbearably awkward until muscle memory had kicked in.

And while this Yuna-filled car ride was a little tense, it was ten times more relaxed—which was definitely saying something—than when she had returned his ring. _Ah, right, she gave back your ring, this is probably extremely weird for her...Now, you_ _ **gotta**_ _say something._

"So...do you like Insomnia?"

 _Smooth._

Lightning shrugged.

"Uh, do you like...uh, living here?" Inwardly, he cringed.

Lightning sighed, "I will definitely miss the Lucian winters."

" _Really?_ " Nobody liked winter in Lucis. Especially winters in Insomnia, where the snow could get up to your waist and temperatures would drop well below freezing. Inner city traffic was a nightmare and god forbid you wanted to travel anywhere outside the walls of Insomnia because public transportation was normally intolerably packed to the brim. Nobody liked winter in Insomnia so he had to be certain she was lying.

"Yeah, I think I will," she watched one of the statues of the Old Kings pass by and Noctis turned onto another street. Her eyes flicked to the street sign and she asked again, "Do you know where you're headed?"

"Truthfully?"

She shook her head and pointed ahead, "Make a right at this light." She might as well make the most of their day out, she supposed.

"You're not leading me to a back alley so you can kill me, right?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. He coughed, "Uh, joke. Joke, that was a joke."

"I know," her tone was hard, but she added, "Besides if I was going to kill you, I wouldn't do it in a back alleyway."

* * *

He knew where she was taking him as soon as he saw the colorful building and despite how childish he may have looked he practically swerved into a parking space. The loud upbeat music playing overhead was drowned out but a cacophony of brightly colored machines all with unique noises and images. It was like a neon extravaganza. Children were running around with tickets by the armful, teenagers were huddled around machines, and the occasional parent was looking like they'd like to be home and in bed.

Noctis looked at Lightning who still held no expression on her features. He asked her, "Are you sure you wanna be here?"

"I brought us here, didn't I?" She answered, walking past him, pulling out a few gil she had in her back pocket and putting them into a token machine, she held a couple of coins up, "C'mon, let me kick your ass in Dissidia."

* * *

" _Squall has the best weapon," she said as she looked at her side of the screen which clearly and mockingly said VICTORY._

 _Noctis crossed his arms, "They don't have my character on here; it's basically cheating. I had to settle for Cecil."_

" _Don't hate the game, hate the player, Noct."_

" _Say that when you eat my dust in Chocobo Racing."_

" _You're on."_

* * *

" _What was that? Hate the player, not the game?" Noctis held a hand to his ear. Lightning grumbled throwing another 4 tokens into the machines._

" _Rematch. No way you beat me; the black chocobo is faster."_

" _You burn out all your stamina in the beginning. Slow and steady wins the race."_

" _That's funny because you usually come second."_

" _Wait, w_ _hat?"_

 _She won that race._

* * *

" _Skee Ball?"_

" _Respect the art of Bomb Skee Ball. You're about to witness a legend."_

 _She racked enough tickets to trade them in for a small Tonberry ("You should've gotten the moogle." "I've always held a soft spot for these little guys.")_

" _How hard can it be?"_

 _Noctis ended up climbing onto the alley to get the stupid ball into one of the 1,000-point holes. ("You can't do that, sir." "So, who is the cheater now, Noct?")_

* * *

 _They ended up inside of a Kenny's Crows before 2 o'clock. Noctis had picked off the lettuce and tomato on his burger and devoured the french fries, and Lightning put Noct's abandoned tomato on her own, "Don't waste these because you hate vegetables."_

" _It's a texture thing."_

" _Sure," she nodded, chewing her own burger. Swallowing and pointing at him with a fry, she commented, "Eat your veggies so you can grow up big and strong, maybe then you'll be able to kick Gladiolus's ass in training."_

" _Guy's a tank, no way around it if I tried."_

" _Went down pretty hard when I sparred him. Probably because I actually eat my spinach."_

 _He laughed and she joined him. It didn't feel awkward and Lightning thought to herself that she was going to miss this the most. The two of them talking like two normal people, and her smile wavered but didn't vanish. She felt an itching at the back of her throat and coughed into her sleeve again. Noctis furrowed his brow, "It is kind of cold out. I should have let you change into a better jacket...do you think I should buy you a better one while we are out?"_

 _She coughed again but held up her hand, "No, don't buy me anymore jackets, Noctis."_

" _Anymore?"_

" _You do this every time I have a cold," she said matter-of-factly. "The closet is full of them."_

 _He didn't recall any jackets. "I didn't see any in there."_

" _I meant at the apartment. You didn't think we lived at the castle, did you? Your dad would never leave us alone. We would have never had any privacy." She dipped her fry in ketchup before taking a bite. Noctis gulped, "No one mentioned that we shared my old apartment."_

" _You never asked."_

 _True. He didn't._

 _She put down her burger, and wiped her hands on a napkin, before looking to be in thought. Her tone became more serious than before, "Um, actually, speaking of that, do you mind if we stop by there...I need to grab some things."_

" _Sure, it's not out of the way or anything," he teased._

 _She threw his lettuce at him._

 _Noctis managed to sneak a few glances in Lightning's direction when she wasn't looking. It dawned on him that she was nothing like Luna; there was a rougher edge to her, but she wasn't unrefined. She was sharp and a little brash at times, and despite all the times she rolled her eyes at him in the arcade, Lightning was not the devil Noctis had once thought her to be._

 _He didn't let the gnawing realization of how sad he might be when he would have to say good night to her. She was fun. Luna rolled out of bed with nothing - not a single hair - out of place and Lightning looked like she hadn't slept well in days when he'd retrieved her. Yet, at that moment, her hair sloppily tied up, ketchup on her chin, he swore she was the prettiest woman he'd ever seen._

 _"Your burger is falling," she pointed._

 _"Yeah, I think so..." he answered a little dreamy. She furrowed her brows and pointed with more urgency, "No, what? Noctis, please, your burger is about to drop."_

 _"Huh?"_

 _Her laugh when the patty slipped was worth the humiliation_.

* * *

The setting sun gave the interior of the apartment an orangey, dreamy look. The atmosphere felt stale like it hadn't been disturbed in months and Noctis couldn't recognize the flowery scent that lingered in the air amidst the stagnant dusty stench. She didn't miss a beat as she went over towards the hall where the bedroom was located and Noctis was left among a setting that felt off. Not that it was an uncomfortable sort of _off,_ just more of an _everything in the room had shifted three centimeters to one side_ kind of _off_. He could hear Lightning moving about in the other room down the hallway, but his attention was drawn to the picture frames he had no recollection of before.

His eyes grazed over the frames and the snapshots placed within them. His eyes were drawn to the colorfully bright pictures on the counter. The first one was of Prompto and him when they were on graduation day, and the beginning of their love for hair gel. (That was a strange year.) As he moved about the apartment, he noticed the pictures were newer, ones he didn't remember existing. Gladio and Lightning flexing on the beach, while Prompto lay buried in sand like a mermaid, Ignis in the background covered in seaweed. It made him crack a smile. One of Lightning holding the tiniest fish he'd ever thought a person could actually catch. Another on the side table of his friends and him dressed to the nines, probably for some holiday function and Lightning standing next to him, stunning in a crimson number.

He moved to the mantle above the fireplace where a picture of him as a child with his mother and father sat. Next to it, a silver frame. He examined it more closely. It was more of _them_. The white linens and messy hair gave him the impression they were in bed when he snapped it-and judging by the angle, he could tell it was a selfie-and her hand covered the smile peeking through her fingers-the engagement ring proudly shining. He was pressing his lips to her temple and it was so strange looking. It was so strange that he could look at this picture and not remember it at all.

The entire apartment was like a shrine to all that he couldn't remember and he felt the frustration he had towards his situation building pressure inside of himself. It was real once-their relationship-and he couldn't recall anything about it.

He wanted to scream. He was ruining Lightning's life, his friends wouldn't even hold a decent conversation with him (not that he was any better, he hardly liked talking to them considering they only wanted to talk about things he couldn't remember) and he was ruining everything. If only he could remember, remember, remember. Everything would be fine. Everyone would be fine…

It was all his fault. It was all his fault for forgetting and being careless on the battlefield. To make it worse, he had been so utterly cruel to Lightning just for being there when all she had done was what anyone would have done for the person they had loved for years. He was the reason she was leaving and she had to go away just because of him- _why did she have to go away?_

It made him so angry because he couldn't understand anything completely and it was like living half of a life. It was irritating like a song you couldn't finish the lyrics to but was stuck repeating over and over and over again.

An empty flower vase was the victim of his anger and the loud crashing of glass against the ground had Lightning rushing out of the bedroom. Her expression twisted into concern when she saw Noctis standing in the middle of the living room, a broken vase near the kitchen entrance and tears streaming down his face. She opened her mouth to ask what happened while she was in the bedroom, but never had the chance.

His voice was so broken, so soft, like a little bird, destitution riddled his features and it was a scene that would break even the coldest of hearts. "I'm sorry, Lightning…" Lightning's heart shatters at the sight and it's like seeing him covered in rain and dirt and his own again, dying in her arms. She doesn't care if she is supposed to be keeping herself at a distance because seeing him hurt like that cuts her deeper than any blade.

He continued to apologize through broken sobs, and each one hurts more than the last, "I'm...sorry I can't remember you. I'm so sorry. I-I'm sorry...I wanna...r-remember so that everyone will be fine and I want to make everything right...I'm just...I'm sorry, Lightning."

She drops the bag she had carried out of the bedroom and strides across the room, her hands fly to the sides of his face, and his hands cover hers. Lightning frowns and his eyes are full of tears spilling over, past her fingers. No matter how many she wiped away, more replace them. Noctis sounded like a broken record, and she tried to calm him down, "Noctis, don't apologize, okay? It is not your fault."

He tried to shake his head, but kept him in place, "Calm down, Noctis. You need to breathe."

He responded with more pleading for forgiveness and Lightning waited until he took a minute to catch his breath, before asking, calmly, "Can I do something?"

Noctis didn't say anything, but when she took his hands and led him to sit he followed. She sat down at one end and gestured for him to sit next to her. Noctis slumped down on the cushions, until she guided his body to lay down on his side, his head resting on her lap, "Just calm down, okay?" At first the action only made him confused and want to curl up and fall onto the ground. Then he felt her hands, one on his head and the other on his shoulder.

Lightning gently ran through her fingers in his hair like he was a little cat, occasionally passing over the skin of his forehead. Her fingers were cold, but certainly not unpleasant. She established a rhythm to it, back and forth like the ocean on the shore and he tried his hardest to focus on the feeling rather than how awful he thought himself to be for forgetting her.

He let a shaky, "Your hands are soft…"

"Hm, lotion does that," she tried to joke. "I used to do this for my sister after our parents died. Figured that if it worked for my Mom, it would work for me, too, you know?" Her voice was comforting and he didn't think the woman who was capable of drilling Kingsglaive, beating Gladiolus in a sparring match, saving _his_ troops, was capable of being so gentle. It was nice, _so nice_.

"...keep talking to me." he mumbled, his voice trying to even out now.

She let out an amused huff, but didn't fight it. What surprised him most was that she didn't talk at all, but started out in a little hum, " _The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms, but when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken so I hung my head and I cried._ "

He laid there and listened to her sing, soft and low and he felt his eyelids get heavier and heavier. Her fingers in his hair were coaxing him along, and she smelled like vanilla, " _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away. I'll always love you and make you happy, If you will only say the same…_ "

Lightning felt his breathing even out and she stopped just, asking, "Feel better?"

She got no verbal answer and she leaned over to see if he was sleeping, her hair falling a bit in his face. In too quick a motion to register, her was pulling her down and shuffling to to the other side of the couch. She humphed as he put his head on her abdomen, and she wriggled in his grip, "Noctis, what are you doing?"

"Taking a nap," he spoke in her Wiz Chocobo Post hoodie. "Shhh."

"Don't shush me, ya big baby."

"Tired…"

She scoffed, " _When aren't you?_ "

* * *

" _Shit,_ " Noctis snapped his eyes open. He muttered, "Ignis is gonna murder me…"

"You're finally awake?" Lightning chuckled and he sat up slowly, half of his hair sticking to the side of his face. His ears blushed red, recalling that he had cried like a baby in front of her, "I, uh, yeah...sorry, did you sleep at all?"

"A little, you started drooling on me though," she pointed to the little wet spot on her hoodie, right near the chocobo logo. He sat up and apologized profusely. She waved it off, "It's not the first time."

"Right."

Lightning was the first of the two to get to her feet, slapping her thighs and stretching when she stood. The bag that she had discarded previously, she picked up and slung it on her shoulder, turning and saying, "We should probably head back…"

"Yeah...let me get the keys-"

"Actually, Noctis?" She said.

"Hm?"

Clearing her throat she offered, "Can we walk back? I'm not in any rush…"

"Oh. Yeah," he nodded, "I'd like that."

They left the apartment holding hands.

* * *

Hand in hand, Noctis leads Lightning back up the steps of the citadel, careful to stay closer to the walls than simply walking right up the center. The walk from his apartment to the citadel was not long at all, especially after he'd gotten Lightning to loosen up over the course of the night and she'd become much more smiley than he thought she was capable of.

He didn't expect that they would run into Ignis and his tapping foot right as soon they entered in through the doors.

 _Hell hath no fury like Ignis scorned._

Almost immediately, Lightning's hand flew out of Noctis's and he felt the cold air replace her smooth hands, and Noctis could sense the anger radiating off of Ignis in waves, but despite that Ignis's demeanor stayed calm. His tone, however, was everything that a person caught red-handed would fear, "Noctis."

Noctis tried not to let Ignis damper his mood, but Ignis Scientia was a pro at breaking the best of spirits when called for. He began again, "And just where have you two been off to?"

"Out and about," Noctis replied as coolly as possible. Lightning went back to crossing her arms and tapping the top of her foot on the floor. (Any other person walking by would have thought a concerned mother had caught her son and his girlfriend coming back from a night of sin.)

"I noticed the keys were missing."

"Yeah, I took them."

"I also took note that the Princess has been under Kingsglaive watch all day, any reason why you aren't accompanying our guest?" Ignis pushed up his spectacles and Noctis crossed his arms.

Noctis's mood was quickly beginning to go southbound and he remembered why he wanted out of the castle so badly in the first place. He responded, "Luna and I already talked-"

"Miss Farron, I'm assuming you are feeling better then?" Ignis interrupted Noctis and looked over at the pink haired woman who had lost her sweet smile and replaced it with a neutral expression. Noctis couldn't get a read on it.

She cleared her throat, "Yes, I am feeling better."

Ignis stared a bit more narrowly at the woman and she turned her head, a frown slipping onto her lips. Noctis didn't like the look of it and strode towards her, grabbing for her hand. She resisted a bit before giving in when he gave a gentle squeeze. Throwing a look over his shoulder, Noctis said, "I'm just going to escort Miss Farron back to her room, if you don't mind, Ignis?'

" _Noct-_ "

"Goodnight, Specs," He interrupted as he hastily guided Lightning past him. Noctis felt their steps fall into synchronization and as soon as he was sure Ignis wasn't following them both, he slowed his pace to a more leisurely tempo. Looking over to Light-she was being silent and her smile was miles from her-he tried to break the ice, "Geez, you'd think Ignis'd be happy, right?"

Lightning didn't say anything and the cold tension that had melted away outside of the castle walls was seeping back between them. Even her hand was lying loosely in his grip, and he could actually see her liveliness disappearing in her eyes. Noctis sighed, slowing to a stop completely and she kept walking, her hand nearly slipping from his grip. If he didn't hold on, she would have escaped him and he called out her name, "Lightning."

She stopped, but refused to face him. Her arm was extended back and he held on as he came up to her side, and she turned her head away from him. He used his leverage to spin her a little, surprised that there was hardly any resistance. At least, she stopped looking down, but now she wouldn't look at him. He said her name again with a tender tone, "Lightning."

It took a few moments before she closed her eyes and let out a breath. Greenish-blue met cobalt and she swallowed, finding her voice, "Can I go to my room?"

"Did Ignis really bother you all that much?"

She darted her eyes to the side, but returned his gaze, with a much colder tone, not harsh, just cold, "No, it's not Ignis. I just want to go to my room."

He stood there, hoping that if he stared at her long enough that it would will her to talk to him, but she was adamant in staying quiet. He sighed as he turned, letting go of her hand, letting it hand at his side, "I'll keep my word and walk you back, at least…"

The walk to her room had felt like twelve steps back in the opposite direction. His sour mood was starting to edge itself into the forefront of his mind and the closer they got to the hall where her room was situated, the more he wanted to pout because he thought- _at least, he hoped_ -they had had a great day. He pulled his lips into a tight line and tried not to let his thoughts go south; he actually thought he might have been able to end his day on a positive-

His heart stuttered as he felt a hand brush into his own, tentatively at first, then all at once. He looked over at Lightning who had her eyes fixed straight ahead. The contact slammed the brakes on his bad mood, and he felt the slow creeping of his cheeks as his lips stretched into a dopey smile because he really didn't want her to be mad at him, or mad at all, for that matter. Lightning was not at all like he thought she was, and he wondered if this feeling was similar to how he felt when he first met her. Of course, it didn't last long; they reached her room before he could properly react and again her hand slipped out of his.

In front of her door, they stood, and the pinkette let her hand rest on the ebony wood of the door before Noctis spoke, "Hey, um, thank you for spending the day with me."

She gave a little shrug of her shoulders in acknowledgement and went to turn the doorknob, Lightning was in her room and before she could shut the door completely she turned to see him say, "Good night, Lightning." It was the worst mistake she could have made. Her lips parted as she saw Noctis's doey eyed expression, a lopsided grin on his lips, and he looked just like he did back then. Back when he would follow her around like a puppy eager to get any information about her all because he wanted to know her and it made her want to pull him inside her room and hide him away so that no one else could have him. She would love to be greedy, but she knew she couldn't.

In a last ditch effort to ignore the fluttering in her stomach, she supplied only a half-assed ghost of a smile as she closed the door.

Despite this, Noctis was just glad she didn't hate him entirely, and he knew that somehow he could get her to come around. The Prince turned to start off towards his own room, getting only about a few doors down before he heard someone call out his name and hurried footsteps behind him, he turned just in time for Lightning's hands to find his shoulders and for the warmth of her lips against his cheek. He could feel his ears reddening in response and she sighed softly as she pulled away, her eyes searching his entire face. Her grip on his shirt was unbelievably strong, but he couldn't tell over how his mental processing abilities were set on fire from one small peck on the cheek.

He heard her say, "Dinner, tomorrow, 8 o'clock sharp."

A toothy grin blossomed onto his lips and her hands released him, but all he could say was an incredulous, "Really?"

She nodded as she began walking back to her room, "Really, really."

"Okay," he almost whispered in agreement and fearing she didn't quite hear him he nearly shouted, "Okay!" She nodded and he willed himself to start walking away. Noctis walked a few steps before turning to say, "Good night, Lightning."

She called back, with a wave of her hand, "G'Night."

The dark haired heir walked a bit more before turning around again, "Good night, Lightning!" His smile beaming on his face and she turned fully to wave a little.

"Good night, Noctis!" She sounded a little amused.

"Good night!"

"Go to bed!" She shouted as he was nearly around the corner, but he said his 'good night' again anyways before all but disappearing around the turn. She stood waiting for him to pop his head back around and shout another unwarranted "Good night" but he restrained himself. Lightning shook her head, mumbling to herself, " _What am I doing?_ "

* * *

There was a definite spring in Noctis's step when he went to return back to his bedroom, and a burst of energy surged through him. He wasn't sure he could go to sleep feeling like a child the night before Etro's Eve, eagerly awaiting the gifts they knew they would get to open tomorrow morning. He couldn't even wipe the dopey smile off his face as he walked a little taller through the hallways. (If he was more obvious he'd probably twirl around and start singing.) Noctis shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans and hummed a little to himself, and he was beaming at the thought of having dinner with her tomorrow.

His stomach fluttered and he felt lighter than air as he made his way back to his room. It was making a lot more sense after spending an entire day without anyone else pestering him and baring down on his mood why he found Lightning so irresistible before. She was the best remedy for a bad day and she was so gentle when she wanted to be, and Noctis couldn't wrap his head around the fact that she'd been able to kick Gladio's ass in training. (He'd have to ask her to spar with him one day because he would like to see how powerful she was in action.)

(He felt like a hopeless teenage boy who had a crush on the prettiest girl in school and he swore he hadn't felt this silly since he was fourteen and awkwardly going through puberty.)

Noctis turned the hall and smiled just thinking about tomorrow and he'd have to ask the chefs to see if he knew what Lightning's favorite food was—surely they had to know.

Without so much as a warning, his path crossed his own father, accompanied by a small group of his advisors, and Regis furrowed his brow when he saw the dopey smile plastered on his son's face. The bearded King asked almost immediately after Noctis apologized in an all too sweetly cheery tone, "Noctis, are you alright?"

Noctis shrugged, "Why wouldn't I be, Dad?"

Regis would have fallen to the ground had he not been supporting his weight on his cane and with the tone only a father could produce when questioning their child, he said, "Days ago, you wouldn't talk to me; forgive me if I seem to be confused as to why you're all smiles and sunshine today."

"Have I ever told you I love you, Dad?"

Regis sputtered a little and some of his own advisors lowered their heads to hide the small chuckles at how flustered the king had become at his son's sudden question. Regis answered, "Not nearly as much as I would like, son."

Noctis grabbed his father by the shoulders and pulled him into a small hug before planting a small kiss on his father's cheek, supplying a small smile and letting him go, "Nothing is wrong, _I promise_."

Truly and utterly baffled King Regis looked to his advisors who had nothing but bitten back smiles and covered-by-coughs chuckles, as he asked, "Are you certain, my son?"

Noctis shrugged again, his shoulders coming up to his ears as he turned around in a circle, avoiding the entire kingly posse as he continued down the hall, proclaiming, "I gotta go to bed; _I_ have a date tomorrow."

Regis couldn't even find the words to ask him the questions that ran through his head. _With whom? When? What happened in the past 48 hours that had his son's attitude towards life take a complete 180°?_ Regis turned to face his comrades, perplexed as he asked, "What has gotten into that boy?"

Clarus Amicitia who was at his side, cleared his throat and offered his own theory, "Your Majesty, if I may be so bold as to suggest, the young man almost seems to be in love."

" _In love?_ "

"It appears that way, Your Majesty."

* * *

 **I wrote this because let's be honest, if y'all have seen the ending of FFXV (which I won't spoil for the sake of those who have yet to experience it) you needed this as much as I did.**

 **When I wrote this, I had some reservations about it because while the chapter is one of my favorites, it was just really fluffy and you know how much I** _ **love**_ **angst, so it was just a little weird for me. In the end, I decided that I liked it because it was a little awkward between them, but it also shows how much Lightning loves Noctis despite him not remembering. Not to mention, Noctis is finally coming around, so expect it to just get all warm and fuzzy, yeah?**

 **I also wrote some of these scenes at work and yeah, I cried a little and my coworker thought I was crazy. Anyways thanks to everyone who is sticking around to see where this angst train goes, but hey! The Pain Train is about to make a few stops so everyone can take a breather. *wink wink* *hovers over ratings change* *sweat drops***

 **Fall terms are finally over and I am free to write again. Praise Lorde. And with any luck, we can steamroll through to the end of this story by Spring semester sooooooo yay! Then I can get back to updating my other fics ;)**

 _Did you know…._

 **Daffodils** are _"..._ _the perfect flower to celebrate new beginnings or simply express your desire to revive an old relationship_ _."?_

Zalera is a summon I desperately want to return to Final Fantasy games (I have a whole list of summons I want to see again *sigh*) and Lucis would idolize because its other moniker is _The Death Seraph_ ,c'mon.

The scene where Lightning comforts Noctis was inspired by my late grandma who would do the same for me and my cousins when we were upset as little kids.

 **Until next time,** aranea-hi-ghwind **is my tumblr. Come shout at me, I love being reminded I haven't updated in four months.**


	10. Red Camellia

_**Please**_ **...this chapter took forever and a half to write...I'm gonna lie down now.**

 **Remember how sweet and heartwarming that last chapter made us feel?**

 ***Tekken announcer voice*** _ **Get ready for a new challenger!**_

 **(Aaaaaaaand, just before we have do enjoy, please make note of the rating change...)**

 **Warning!:** Contains _ **spicy**_ **material** not suitable for the eyes of small ones.

* * *

Noctis twitched his nose.

" _C'mon, Sleepy Boy, get up…"_

He was dreaming of something soft - a feather tickling his nose, and the feeling felt hyperrealistic. It was somewhere between annoying and inconvenient and Noctis burrowed his face deeper into the pillow he was clutching trying to relieve himself of the sensation. It persisted anyhow.

Mumbling an indignant little, "Leave me alone…" There wasn't much Noctis liked better than the extra few minutes he spent in bed in the morning. Whatever it was, it could wait.

"No-oct! C'mon!"

Noctis couldn't ignore it and he knew this was no dream. Cracking open an eye, he was met with freckles and blonde hair - and he punched his pillow to further sell the point that he was not waking up regardless of Prompto's invasion of privacy. The gunner had different plans and like any best friend, he had methods of working around his stubborn pal. Prompto slid off the plush mattress, hands on his hips, he heaved an overly dramatic sigh.

"We gotta talk, bud, c'mon."

"No…" and with that Noctis pulled the covers over the top of his head.

Prompto couldn't help but smile because if anything, his best friend was acting more like himself than he had since he'd woken up. Though, that only spurred on more and more unanswered questions concerning his rapid and sudden change in behavior. Prompto had no doubt that it was directly linked to what Ignis had texted him last night about when he said that Lightning and Noctis showed up to the castle hand in hand and late at night. Something big had happened and with an incomplete story, Prompto would not be able to understand what the hell _that_ might be.

Now, a normal, rational adult might have pulled the covers off and opened the blinds, filling the room with inescapable light, but Prompto liked to be a little more creative than that.

"Get up, or I'm going to jump on you."

"Five more minutes…" He mumbled from underneath the down comforter. Prompto shook his head, turned and walked two paces and then took back off in the direction of the bed, flinging himself on top of the blanketed mass in the middle of the mattress. Noctis was immediately sputtered and yelling for him to get off, but Prompto merely shifted around until the entire length of his back was on top of Noctis. He even flung out his appendages to create and even bigger target of himself.

Noctis's voice was strained and Prompto was a lot heavier than he appeared for such a small man. Noctis hated when he did this…

"Prompto, _please_..." Despite the pleasantry, Noctis held none in his tone.

Ignoring the plea, Prompto thought aloud, "Lucky Gladio didn't come along, he'd have crushed us both in a dogpile…"

"Prompto, your bony elbow is digging into my side, get off," Noctis wriggled and Prompto rolled his eyes before rolling next to him in the empty space he'd been in previously.

"Alrighty, ya big ol' grump."

Noctis scrunched his eyebrows, sitting up, rubbing his side, "It's like everyone forgets I _literally_ got stabbed."

With his hands on his stomach, and his head resting on the pillow beside Noctis, he said, "You really do sleep like a Prince, don't you?"

"I _was_ trying…"

"What is this thread count, dude?"

"What do you want, Prompto _?_ "

" _Harsh,_ " and Prompto sat up, crossing his legs on the bed. He'd been a nice enough guy to remove his boots before trying to wake up the Prince. _Nothing worse than someone's shoes on your clean Altissian cotton sheets, you know?_

"You jumped on me."

"To be fair, I did warn you."

Noctis glared at him before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Yawning, Noctis went to cross his legs as well, fully facing him but, he stayed wrapped up in his covers. Prompto flung himself back down and sighed, "Do you think I should get a haircut?" He went to twirl the long strands of hair that he let hang over his eyes. Noctis furrowed his brow again. He knew when Prompto was deflecting, and Prompto _was_ deflecting right now.

Regardless, the blonde continued on his train of incoherant thought, "Don't think Cindy would notice...hmph. I wonder if I should visit her soon...what d'ya think? I'm kinda hungry actually...might wait for the chefs to clear out so I can raid the pantry, then again, breakfast is probably still being made. Ahhh...I dunno-"

" _Prompto._ "

"Huh?" He peered through his blonde bangs, and Noctis gave him an unconvinced look.

"I really doubt you came here to bug me about your day's schedule, what's up?" He rubbed a tired hand down his face and blinked back the urge to close his eyes and fall back into his pillows. Noctis wrapped himself tighter in his blanket cocoon and Prompto released his hair so that his hands rested clasped together on his stomach. A contemplative look crossed his features as his eyes found themselves fixated on the crown molding lining the ceiling of Noct's room.

The gunslinger nibbled on his lower lip and sighed, "Noct?"

"Yeah?" Noctis closed his eyes and leaned into one of his hands.

"So, Iggy texted me last night and at first, I freaked out and I thought you ran away, but then he was just telling me you showed up at the castle last night in the middle of the night. More importantly, he told me you were out...with Lightning," with the curious addition, Prompto turned his head to look at Noctis.

The Prince had straightened up at the mention of Lightning's name and he didn't even try to hide away the little smile that found itself settling on his lips. Prompto snapped up and went back to his previous position, crossing his legs letting his elbows rest on his legs. "So...can you explain that?"

Noctis shrugged, but the lightness in his voice told more than his words did, "Eh, we just hung out."

Prompto punched at his friend's knee caps, "Hey! You know, Ignis was pissed last night and frankly, I am a little offended you didn't tell _me_!"

"It was sort of on the fly…Besides _you_ ignored _me_ yesterday morning!"

"Right. Sorry about that, actually, but _still…_!"

Prompto pursed his lips, and crossed his arms. Noctis returned the favor of punching Prompto's kneecap back and bit back a wide smile. Prompto rubbed the area, "Ow, insult, injury!"

"Prompto, she's amazing," he said. Not a full explanation, but Prompto didn't need to be a rocket scientist to understand that Noctis was talking about Lightning. Flicking his own hair out of his eyes only for it to bounce right back to where it had been, Prompto scooted forward.

"What happened last night?"

Noctis flung himself back onto his pillow, his hand flying to his chest, and a dreamy look in his eyes mixed with the sleepiness lingering, "I don't know, maybe I do, _I don't know_ ….We had so much fun yesterday...I mean, mostly...and ah, _I dunno—_ I didn't feel so terrible yesterday. When it was just us, I didn't feel like the weight of every single thing was resting on my shoulders."

Prompto's eyes went wider than usual, and he was filled with equal parts dread and elation. Noctis ran a hand down his face again and sighed. Prompto laughed a little, "So, then, it was a date."

"What? No, not a date, we just went to the arcade and then my—I mean, I guess, _our_ apartment." Noctis's face was met with a pillow. "Ouch!" He pulled the offending object off his face, glaring at the blonde who'd looked a little stunned, but nevertheless interrogative.

"You guys totally didn't...?" Prompto slid his hands on each other and made something like a spring creaking noise, " _Ee-errr, ee-errr_ , _you know what I mean_?"

It only took one, two, _three_ seconds for Noctis to place what Prompto meant with the gesture and his smacked him in the shoulders with the same pillow that had struck his own face. "No! Pervert! It was anything like that!"

"What?! I'm just asking! I wasn't going to judge you two, I mean, I am completely pro-Lightis on Kwehter. Got it trending once, too," Prompto may have just spoke another language entirely and Noctis's face contorted into confusion. The gunner made an effort to start explaining but was immediately halted when Noctis put up a hand. _Some things were just better off remaining unknown._ A strange sort of smile crossed Prompto, it was like a smile being strangled into a frown and Noctis didn't like the look of it on his usually cheery best friend.

"What?"

"I just...Noct, do you remember anything?"

It didn't prompt an angry reaction this time around, and Noctis felt more exhausted of hearing the question than angry, "No, I don't, but I think... _I don't mind_ making the memories again. _With her_ , I mean. I was wrong about it all, Prompto. _I want to remember her._ "

"Noct-"

Prompto eyes diverted away for a moment at the confession, but if the Prince noticed, he didn't say anything about it. Noctis continued on, a sudden ache in his chest as he remembered the events of yesterday and how his night was already promising to be eventful, "And tonight, we're having dinner-"

Prompto snapped at that, his hand flying through the air to slap the dark haired heir again, rapidly and without mercy, "What!? You should start with that! Always start with _that_ information first!"

Noctis put his hands up to counter the onslaught of overly enthusiastic slaps that Prompto thought were an appropriate response. "Ow! Ow! Would you let me talk? For the sake of the Six, you need to chill!"

" _Chill?!_ This is big stuff, buddy," Prompto pressed on and asked him what he meant.

Noctis replied with an even tone, masking his own equal excitement for the sake of looking like the cooler one of the two. Inside of course, his nerves were buzzing. "Means we're having dinner, of course. You know, _eating_?" Prompto spared the Prince from anymore slaps and crossed his arms.

"Har har, you're splitting my sides, Noct," Prompto deadpanned and climbed off the bed quicker than it took for Noct to realize where his friend was headed - his closet. Prompto called out once inside, flipping the lightswitch on, "Sooooo, whatcha gonna wear for your date?"

Noctis rolled his eyes and flung himself out of the bed to follow. Prompto was already tossing suits and shirts around, and Noctis scoffed, "I was just going to go in jeans and a nice shirt; I don't think she'll mind…"

"No, no, _no_ , this is Lightning. She deserves nothing but the best, dude," Prompto picked out a grey jacket before grimacing and throwing him a disturbed look. " _Honestly, lose the pinstripe suits, man._ "

"What if she wants it to be more casual? I didn't exactly get the whole _I'm impressed by lavish displays,_ " Noctis sighed, picking at the paint on the doorframe. Thinking about it now, he really couldn't tell what she would or wouldn't like. She was more rough around the edges than Lunafreya and he didn't think she would have been impressed if he did anything extravagant. Yesterday they had been so comfortable just having a bite at a burger restaurant. Prompto pulled out a classically styled Altissian suit - black, of course, his color - and threw it at him.

"Trust me on this one."

"I don't see why I have to -"

Prompto approached and put a hand on his shoulder, a pitying look, "Because no offense, Noct, your taste in clothing...it's awful. And Lightning she...," Prompto's humorous lilt fell, " _You both_ deserve a good night."

* * *

A knock on the door tore Prompto's attention away from the flat screen at the foot of Noctis's bed—one of those cool ones, you know? The type that rise out of the footboard of the frame and Prompto swore to himself he would have to get himself one of these because _it was one of the coolest things he'd ever seen before._

Reluctantly but ever so glad for man's advancements towards gaining the ability to pause television, Prompto swung his legs over the side of Noctis's bed. He scratched his cheek and yawned walking towards the door. His best friend was taking the longest shower known to mankind and was undoubtedly sneaking in a nap. He didn't care; he was using Noct's room as a place to hide since Ignis was currently on a war rampage - not visibly angry but, the kind of anger that meant everyone in his sights was subject to being forced to work until they were dead tired, or dead.

 _Too bad it didn't cross the blonde's mind that the person at the door could, in fact, be the bespectacled advisor._

He was just lucky—the Gods smiled upon him that day as it was—instead, a lovelier sight to behold. Lightning Farron stood, a smile shrinking on her features, but not entirely disappearing. It morphed into something akin to a smirk and she coughed into one of her fists, "Uh...Good morning, Prompto?"

"Mornin'," he said, and opened the door all the way. There was a moment of silence before Lightning exhaled sharply through her teeth.

"I didn't expect to see you here," she commented.

Prompto shrugged, and then put his hand behind his head, "Could say the same for you, Light."

She narrowed her eyes and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. If anything, Prompto was observant to the fact that Lightning was acting a little more like her old self as well, especially since their last conversation was not as pleasant as he would have liked it to have been. Then, he remembered the talk he and Noctis had this morning and a wide grin spread across his lips. He leaned against the door frame and scrunched his nose, a cheeky smug expression on his face. One that Lightning did not respond well to.

She scoffed, "What?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing…" He tapped the top of his foot against the ground,

She rolled her eyes, "I shouldn't have come here…"

Prompto clicked his teeth with his tongue. Upon a closer inspection of her person, she was wearing a shirt inside out and that was completely unlike Lightning Farron. She was punctual and precise about most everything she did. Lately, she seemed more of a mess and, he could guess why. Personality wise, she seemed to be coming around, but he could see a physical difference. The last time he'd seen her was in this same room except the circumstances were just a _bit_ different.

She didn't leave just yet and Prompto took that as a sign to press further into whatever was happening between Lightning and Noctis. Because the last time he and Lightning _talked,_ she was telling him that she was going to back off so that Noctis could have an easier time. Clearly that plan was falling through horribly. Prompto knew everyone had been behind a firm movement to get him to remember Lightning, but somehow knowing what was to come in the future, he couldn't say that he felt too great about it.

He was excited, no doubt. He had only ever wanted Light and Noct to end up together, marry and have hundreds of kids so that he could be the cool Uncle, but he there was a egging in the forefront of his mind that urged him to feel guilty.

They deserved tonight, though, or at least from his own standpoint, he would support this one time. Ignis would want to know - and Ignis was bound to find out. Gladiolus would probably kick his ass for not stepping in the middle of this potential mess, but Prompto wanted to pretend that this was not a recipe for disaster. He was content in pretending, if for one dinner, that everything was fine.

"But, you did. So, why is that exactly, huh, Light?" Prompto asked.

Lightning sighed, and gestured with her chin in the direction of the room, "I just need to grab something from the closet, that's all."

Prompto stepped aside and let beckoned her. He pushed down the guilty feeling inside and masked it with a more pleasantly-Prompto signature playfulness, "Heard you have a date with Noct? Or did you want to count this one as a second date since he has woken up?"

"Wasn't a date and neither is this dinner," she said with her ever calm tone, revealing nothing about how she was feeling. Prompto frowned, figuring she was trying her best not to look anything, but professional. It reminded her of how she was when they first met, and although the thought was nostalgic, he wanted to make sure she knew what she was doing. Prompto wanted to make sure she knew exactly what she was going to do to Noct's feelings.

She reached the back of the closet and it had all the colors of the rainbow lined up in the form of beautiful gowns of varying lengths. The ones she wore in the castle - she had received from Noctis especially for formal events - and she didn't think she would need anything from the apartment. She didn't expect a dinner. Prompto stood next to her, his own eyes fixed on the gowns.

She rubbed a deep purple gown between her fingers, as she asked, "Where's Noctis anyways?"

Prompto reached out to push aside a pale pink one, "He's in the shower, why? Wanna talk to him?"

"N-no, just wondering," She only stuttered thrown for a loop at the question and its possible implications. She recovered quickly enough to stab at his own ego, "Did you bring him breakfast in bed like a good wife?"

Prompto stuttered out a half hearted rebuttal but, her laugh at his clear embarrassment silence his efforts. Instead he asked, "What are you going to try and kill my best friends with on your date tonight?"

"Not a date."

"Yeah, yeah, which one?"

Lightning scratched her forehead before she pushed a silk lilac gown to the side that Prompto yelped at the sight of, he pulled it out further to examine it, "Might I suggest the purple Baalbaki? Noctis has favorites; he has told me, you know?"

Lightning chuckled at his comment, "I know, and that's _your_ favorite, Prompto. I remember because Noct tried to get me to change out of it halfway through the night. You wouldn't stop commenting on my legs."

"For the record, you guys were _not_ even together back then." Prompto laughed a little, adding on, "Geez, that was a long time ago, time flies…"

She agreed, softly.

Absently, Prompto said, "You know, you don't even have to try, Light. You could wear a trash bag and he'd think you were the greatest gift to mankind."

"Aren't I?" she joked, and Prompto laughed with her. The way she looked over each dress was like she could see every memory she'd had in them and the little smile Lightning wore tugged at his chest. He missed her japes and she was finally starting to act like she used to around him; he didn't want her to leave.

He watched her hands halt over one. The expression on her face changing.

Nestled in between a red and gold gown, Lightning pulled out something she hadn't seen in a few years. Prompto watched her pulled the hanger off the rack and pull the dress into view, a small grin broke the smirk on her lips. She folded the skirt over her arm and turned on her heels.

Prompto followed her out, curious about why she was so quiet about her selection and curious because he couldn't tell which black dress she'd taken. "Hmmm, black, huh?"

"Problem with that?"

"None at the moment, just a little ironic."

"I'm ignoring that, _for the record_ ," she scoffed as she walked out through the bedroom door. Prompto stopped her before she could escape, his expression a bit more serious, "Light?"

"Yeah?"

"You are...you know? You're going to tell him, right?"

She stilled. "I...am. I am going to tell him."

"I don't want you to go, Light."

She turned to face him, a somber expression, "I have to. I gotta go…" She hurried away down the hall in an instant. Prompto didn't bother calling down after her; he knew it would be in vain. Lightning was gone around the corner before he stepped out. Closing the door, Prompto retreated back inside, only to find Noctis exiting the bathroom, dressed casual clothes with a towel flung around his shoulders, a toothbrush in his hand, he pointed to the door with the brush. "Who was that at the door?"

Prompto perked up before answering, "Just Lightning."

Poor Prompto, he'd only ever experienced getting hit with a warp strike twice in his life. This would mark the third and he could not say that this was any cooler than the previous two times. In fact, if he had to rank this particular warp strike, he'd place the experience _right_ underneath when Noctis had thrown a sandal at his head because the toothbrush warp strike was just a _tiny_ bit less humiliating.

Noctis tackled Prompto onto the ground and began asking all sorts of rapid fire questions, "What did she say? What did she want? Did she come by to cancel?" He let his blonde friend breathe, but his mind was running around in a panic. He was awake now, and the mere thought that she was around was enough to get his heart in a fluttering, stuttering mess. He had only just barely missed her, too!

"Now, who needs to chill out?" Prompto rubbed his head and pushed himself off the ground. "She just came by to get a dress."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Uh? I just did, didn't I?"

Noctis slapped his own legs in exasperation, "I meant when she showed up!"

Quizzically, Prompto shook his head, "Dude, you were in the shower; I assumed it would be more courteous to let you finish and not walk in on you?"

Noctis got to his feet, pacing around, "Do we match? Would that be weird if we did?"

Prompto got up and brushed off any dirt, sighing. He grabbed his friend by the shoulders, looking to calm him, "Quit worrying. Calm down, and what was it that you're dad told us... _Be yourself, a true heart is worth more than a million facades._ Or some kingly Dad stuff like that."

"Prompto?"

"Yeah?'

" _Your impression of my dad has gotten better."_

* * *

If there was a contest for how many times a single person could go up to a door and think about knocking before promptly turning around and pacing, Noctis would be an excellent contender for the Gold. He had foolishly shown up in front of Lightning's door an entire hour before he really needed to be. He'd spent half the day preparing the chefs and servants to ensure that everything was perfect. The other half he had spent avoiding Ignis because he couldn't have Specs ruining possibly his only chance to get Lightning to have dinner with him.

Prompto was kind enough to offer himself as a distraction and round interference all day towards Ignis. So far, he was in the clear and as such, Noctis had been pacing around her door, obsessively checking his wristwatch for the time. It was absolutely maddening that the minute hand was taking forever to make a full rotation around the face, and Noctis had been battling his nerves for the last twenty minutes trying to gain the courage to knock on the door. He didn't want to appear too eager and freak her out, but he didn't want to wait another minute to see her again.

He'd brought flowers again. These ones were red and he wasn't sure what they were but they were pretty and looked like something she would like. Or he hoped, she would like them. _Gods, I hope she doesn't hate them._

He practiced under his breath what he would say to her when she opened the door.

"Hey, you look very nice. Shall we go to the food noooow? _Stupid, that's dumb. C'mon, be cool, Noct._ I have arrived to escort you to dine with me. _No, that's just...ugh._ Come here often? _Yeah, that's just a bad idea waiting to happen."_

It was ten minutes before 8 o'clock and Noctis's impatience got the better of him. He let out a deep breath and knocked on the door. He didn't expect the door to open before the second time his fist hit the wood of the door and his first instinct was to stare in silent awe. She was breathtaking. _No, that wasn't the word._ They hadn't invented a word to describe the way Lightning looked when she opened the door to greet the Prince. She looked the way your favorite song sounded.

"You're early."

He was knocked out of his silent reverie and struggled out, "You...I, uh, you, it...Flowers! I got you these flowers!" He almost violently shoved the flowers in between the two of them and she accepted them and Noctis felt his heart jump into his throat when she grazed his fingers with her own. She turned and Noctis almost felt like he was committed a sin watching her walk to a table to put the flowers in the vase that contained others. He averted his eyes away from her figure when she strode back.

Her rose colored locks were in a loose bun that was deceivingly messy and secretly a chaotic organization of hairpins. Prompto didn't tell him what she was wearing but as it turned out, they managed to match and Noctis nearly blushed because it was _totally a date._ He cleared his throat and she walked past him, closing the door, just the smallest hint of roses lingered behind her and he fell into step next to her.

Noctis held his hands at his side and didn't know what to do with them, because the better part said to keep his hands to himself and the other part was telling him to take her hand in his. She crossed her arms as they began the relatively short walk to the dining hall Noctis had chosen for them to dine in. He'd sent word to her via a servant because when he'd made the decision, he was far too tangled up in pestering the chefs on what Lightning liked to eat and devising a menu that she would love.

He didn't expect her to start the conversation first, but he was happy she did, "Thank you for the flowers."

"Ah, no problem."

 _And just like that it is over. C'mon, Noct!_

He cleared his throat and looked over at his side, "You look…" _Stunning, amazing, breathtaking, gorgeous._ "...Good."

 _Wow. I am officially ready to fling myself into the sun._

Lightning nodded in acknowledgment and the sounds of her heels clicking against the tile fill the silence between them. He started again, this time with a little less pitiful than before, "I wanted to say this before but I didn't really do it, but um, thanks for yesterday, I mean. I was kind of...pathetic, I guess."

"Well, now we can say for certain that we both experienced our fair share of emotional breakdowns in front of each other this past week," Lightning supplied. "I have a lot of things on my mind, sorry if I don't seem in the mood to really talk all that much."

It was a sudden admission and one Noctis felt came with a tone of exhaustion. They'd reached the hall where he pushed open the large obsidian doors leading into one of the more intimate dining rooms of the castle. Something a bit smaller in terms of castle dining rooms for the table was still larger enough to sit more than twenty people comfortably. Two place settings were already prepared in front of the two seats farthest from the door. He rushed a bit of ahead of her to pull out her chair for her. She scoffed in an amused manner and Noctis pushed her seat in before rounded into his own as smoothly as expected of royalty.

Not long after that the servants with refreshments made their appearance and wine was served into crystalline glasses that Noctis made the effort to toast. Lightning was "sipping" (more like gulping) hoping that she could find her nerves to settle. Noctis on the other hand was consciously aware of every single thing that one could be self conscious about.

 _Was the wine the right kind? They said she most often ordered Duscaen when they'd previously had dinners._ (Which he was still fuzzy about the thought of.) _Was the lighting weirdly dim? Was the room's temperature was too chilly? Or maybe the chairs were uncomfortable and he should have ordered for them to be re-cushioned beforehand—_

"So, do I get to know what we're eating?" She placed her hand under her chin and sighed. Her eyes do not meet his own and Noctis made a conscious effort not to bite his nails. She looked like she'd rather be anywhere but seated at this table and he wondered if maybe she was having serious regrets about having dinner with him.

"I thought it would be a better surprise."

"I can make a safe bet it hardly has _any_ vegetables, though, right?" He couldn't make a definite judgement on the tone of her voice. Though, he had only - well, considering his own mental state - known Lightning for a brief time, he could tell there was something off about the way she was acting. Honestly speaking, he wished he could remember anything just so that he didn't seem like a complete fool in front of her. Yesterday she had been more comfortable; it may have taken a few rounds of him kicking his ass handed to him at Chocobo Racing, but she had eventually relaxed. She had been so gentle with him at the apartment and so cold after Ignis had seen them show up late last night.

She was very hard to understand, but it only made him want to unravel the mystery of her.

He fiddled with his utensils and she went for another sip of wine. Both seemed to be thinking in a different rooms, and only when the food arrived did, Noctis try and attempt to start any sort of dinner conversation. He had a lot of things he wanted to ask, but he did not want to word vomit onto the table and scare her off. In his world, she was someone new and full of stories he had never heard before - a culmination of experiences he wanted to know every detail of, like w _hat was her favorite subject in school when she was younger? What was her hometown like? Did she have a favorite place in Lucis, and why? How did she feel about black licorice? Cereal first, or milk first?_

None of these questions reached his lips and instead he settled on the ever fruitful starter, "I hope they got it right - the food, I mean." He was looking at her reaction and he couldn't tell if she was going to throw it on the ground or if she was one of those people that was going to grin and bear a meal they did not want. He couldn't help but think every single thing was going horribly, _horribly_ wrong.

She stared down at the steak grilled and seared to perfection, like some picturesque meal sitting atop a medley of colorful steamed veggies. The smell alone was mouth watering and it was a feast for the eyes. Noctis didn't move to touch his own plate, he couldn't touch his own food until he was certain that Lightning was going to eat. The thought that she was unhappy about anything stole his urge to eat and he waited for any reaction.

Lightning picked up the fork and knife and cut into the meat with a trained ease, and his shoulders relaxed.

He could eat, too, now, relieved that he had made the right choice. The chefs had gone rounds with him earlier as he pestered them over and over, asking if this was _really_ her favorite. Enough so that he texted Prompto for confirmation. Given the green light, he was still unsure about how she would receive the gesture. _Was he trying to hard? Oh, Gods, did she think he was trying_ too _hard?_

Suddenly, but not unwelcomed, she broke the silence.

"Your tie is crooked," Lightning pointed with the end of her fork, before poking it into a carrot. Noctis's eyes flicked down to his shirt and sure enough, he could tell his hack job of knotting a tie was not at all hidden. He had tried eight times before settling on this piss poor attempt. (He was far too eager to get to see her to really care, even though he wished she hadn't said anything.)

Self consciously he touched the fabric and huffed, "I never was any good at doing these things…"

"I know," she agreed, and for the first time that night, she was actually looking at his face. She was astonishing. It hurt in the best way possible to look at her directly. He came to the conclusion that it was _actually_ extremely unfair that anybody look that pretty. The way the corners of her lips curved upwards in the slightest was making it hard to focus on anything but they they parted. She could have been ripping his entire character to shreds and he'd be glad if the insults came from her burgundy stained lips. He distantly heard his named being called and it took him a moment to realize she was the one talking. Noctis made a mental note of the way her lips curved around the syllables of his name, "Noctis, wine? Do you want anymore?"

He zoned back in and realized a servant had come by with more of the Duscaen wine and as he cleared his throat, cheeks reddened, he nodded. She watched him curiously and Noctis could feel her gaze lowered down to his tie again. A weird twitch to her brow and she turned her gaze elsewhere.

He jumped on the chance to revitalize the air of comfort that had at the burger joint yesterday, "You're really good at Skee Ball."

 _Oh my Gods, just throw yourself into a pit filled with midgarsormr, honestly - you're crashing and burning as you continue to speak._

"It's all in the wrist," she said. She must've been bent on killing any sort of conversation that they could have and Noctis needed to save this dinner.

"Prompto said you came by earlier, I missed you, I guess."

She stilled, but recovered instantaneously to say, "I needed something to wear, didn't exactly plan on having this dinner with you when we left the apartment. I didn't grab anything to wear. Unfortunately, all I have here are these gaudy evening gowns."

He didn't even take a beat, "I think you look…"

She finished for him, her dark lips curving into a smirk, " _Good?_ "

The blush on his cheeks spread like wildfire to his ears, "Better than good, really - _great!_ I mean, I-I...you look, and the...eh...it's just... _wow_ ," Noctis shoved a piece of steak into his mouth and stared into the table cloth hoping that if he stared hard enough that a portal may open up and suck him right into it, suffocating him and sparing him from this awful display of just the most pitiful attempt of being charming.

"You don't have to be so nervous," she said, her tone as casual as if they were talking about the weather. She sighed when he didn't look at her. "I haven't exactly been helping the situation, either, I guess."

It was almost like she was talking to herself, reasoning under her breath but loud enough for him to hear. She set down her utensils and leaned into her fist again, "You can ask me anything, if that helps."

Noctis met her gaze at her offer. Anything might be too much power and he had to control his racing mind. _Anything. Anything. Anything._

"How do you feel about black licorice?"

Somewhere out there, Prompto was keeled over, sensing the tragic down spiral of his wingman.

Then, she laughed. One of those laughs that are completely unheralded by any warnings, so abrupt that Lightning covered her mouth promptly after it escaped her lips, her eyes catching his. She had that look in them like she had been caught red handed and she cleared her throat as she removed her hand and straightened up. Noctis narrowed his eyes, pressing forward, "What is so funny about that? You said I could ask anything, right?"

She shrugged, "Yeah, but I would think that since you have zero recollection of the past three years regarding our relationship, you'd have picked something else."

Now that he was thinking about it, she had a point. He could have asked anything and he asked about her stance on a disgusting candy. In order to save face, he rolled stuck to his guns and scoffed, feigning offense, clearly unconvincing, "Well, do you like it?"

Lightning's eyes slid over his form again and landed on his tie before answering, "No, I do not like black licorice." She rolled her eyes and smiled a little, "You're so weird."

"I want to know everything about you, even if it's about candy."

She hid the blush on her cheeks with one of her hands, and blinked before settling the whole licorice matter to rest, "That is not candy; it's a punishment in the form of food."

Noctis chuckled in response. He could actually feel the mist of awkwardness starting to disperse and he sighed in relief, mentally thanking the Gods for the transition, before asking, "Okay, a harder question then. Hmmm, what did you do before Lucis?"

She picked at the carrots on her plate, "Before Lucis...let's see, I was a Sergeant in a military faction called the Guardian Corps - not nearly as large as the Crownsguard or the Glaive, but Bodhum was pretty peaceful back then."

" _Back then?_ did something happen?"

Her eyes flickered a little, and she cleared her throat, "To make an _extremely_ long story, _extremely_ short, I didn't exactly agree with the men in charge; they were evil and corrupt and after a long time fighting, we were able to stop them."

"We?"

"Oh, not _we,_ I mean my...friends - _family, really_ ," she clarified. "It was Snow, Sazh, Dajh, Fang, Vanille, and Hope...and Serah."

" _Serah_...is she someone important?"

"She was my sister," Lightning grabbed for her glass of wine and Noctis was acutely aware of her inflection on the past tense of her sentence. He didn't want to push on the subject, fearing that if he did, that she might shell up again. The Prince would ask her another time, when the time was right and there wasn't such a desperation on his end to ensure that Lightning's night went without a single tear. She flashed a ghost of a smile before plucking up another green bean. Noctis was quick to reel in the mood before it drowned itself in another bout of retrospection. Somehow he knew that asking further on this issue would be inappropriate. There was still an entire lifetime he had to ask her about everything all over again.

"Um, so, how did we meet, exactly?"

She swallowed and scoffed, "You really want to know?"

"More than anything," he admitted.

"Well, to be honest, you nearly died when we met, which in the grand scheme of things, is almost ironic, since you nearly died meeting me again for the first time," She morbidly realized out loud. Noctis flinched a little at that, because he recalled how awful he had been to her and all of the horrible thoughts he had of her before now. He was down right selfish to think she was some devil woman who was out for his title. If he could go back and slap himself in the face, he would.

Instinctively he apologized for his behavior.

"I don't blame you at all, it was understandable. You didn't know who I was, you acted accordingly. It wasn't easy on you, I get that."

Noctis couldn't help but still feel guilty. Especially since she was so damned understanding of his situation when she probably should have stabbed him herself for being so rude. "I still should've been more mindful about your feelings."

"Well, you let me cry on you, so I'd say you didn't do an entirely piss poor job of it. I mean, you were being a dick, but like I said, completely understandably so."

Noctis could cringe at the remembrance and instead changed the subject back to the original inquiry, "So, we met…I almost died again?

"Oh, right," she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and Noctis did not miss how it exposed the juncture between her new and jaw, and with the iron will of a Caelum, he ripped his thoughts away from the gutter. "You fell on me - off a cliff, to be exact."

"I'm sorry, I _fell off a cliff?_ " His eyes went wide with disbelief. He scooted his chair closer towards her, leaving his plate alone (not that he was ever actually going to eat those vegetables anyways…) and leaned in for the details.

She sat up straighter, and replied nonchalantly, "Yeah, right on top of me." He tried to picture himself falling off a cliff and imagine what could possibly prompted such a thing to happen. Lightning could tell he was mulling over that fact and she answered his unspoken question, "Don't ask me what you were doing, Prompto is the only one that knows and he has sworn himself to secrecy."

"But...but did I hurt you? Were you okay?"

She found him leaning in further towards her, genuinely worried about what happened to her. He had that look about him that made her go soft inside - that wide eyed look, that he only ever gave when his full attention was on her. She cleared her throat and continued on, toying with the ends of her cloth napkin. "Just a banged up elbow, and the wind knocked out of my lungs."

"Well, what happened after that?"

"You wouldn't leave me alone after that," she let out with an amused scoff, looking at him again was a mistake - _his stupid tie_. He straightened up and apologized. "Don't worry, I made sure to return the favor."

Suddenly he felt his jaw ache, and somehow he believed it wasn't merely coincidence, but he continued. He wanted to know more. Noctis wanted to hear everything he could, "What's with the whole _'Oh, please, Lightning, call me Regis! You know better!'_ thing going on between you and my dad?" His impression of his father's accent was absolutely horrendous but enough to crack another smile from her lips. In turn, Noctis couldn't help but lean back in, placing his elbow on the table corner and resting his cheek in his hand.

He looked at her and watched as she recounted a tale of how she and his father were actually at each other's throats once and that he although she treated him with the utmost respect, she didn't really get close to him until after one long game of Triple Triad and a bottle of Tenebraen brandy. Apparently his father had gotten very intoxicated _(Something he would have to talk to his father about, because the King of Lucis was not supposed to be getting tipsy and breaking out baby photo albums!?)_ and Lightning had somehow managed to succeed in becoming the King's favorite person in the Kingdom.

(Apparently, they frequently had breakfast together and shared war stories like old battle buddies.)

"It's a little weird that you're friends with my dad," he furrowed his brows and felt embarrassed at the thought that she had seen all those awful photo albums his father was hell bent on keeping. He made a mental note of going to make an effort into ridding the world of the more embarrassing collections.

"Trust me, you don't know the half of it," she raised her eyebrows as she took another drink from her glass.

Noctis sighed, "And I take it you're just as close to the guys. They seem to like you better than me, sometimes, actually." He looked at her again and she went to mirror his position, two glasses of wine and her cheeks were tinged red. Her lips fell into a smile more easily and he could tell the stiffness from the beginning of the dinner was all but gone.

"They are the best three men you could have at your side for when you ascend the throne, Noctis. Loyal to fault; it's been a long time coming for us to see eye to eye."

"I could see Ignis giving you a hard time," Noctis thought about what type of interrogation his bespectacled advisor might have put Lightning through before he even thought about being civil.

"Funnily enough, Ignis was the first person I befriended. Of course, I think he did it on the premise of gaining my allegiance to Lucis - not that I had any reason to be against you. Prompto was next. He was convinced I was a spy sent to seduce and kill you."

"Could have been worse; he could have hit on you," Noctis cringed. Prompto had almost zero luck with flirting, not that that discouraged the blonde in any way, shape, or form.

She mused, "Oh no, he still did that."

"And Gladio?"

Lightning rolled her eyes, "That giant wall of a human? If the Shield of the King should ever be too trusting, I'd be more worried about your wellbeing, but Gladiolus was only the last to trust me because he wouldn't take anything less than a fight to prove myself. You should feel lucky someone like Gladio is going to be there for you."

"Yeah."

"I'll miss them," her eyes wandered back down to his chest, and he could see her frown. She kept staring at his tie. "I think I should stop drinking wine." She mumbled a little.

"Where are you going?"

"What?" She snapped her eyes back up to his curious expression. His expression was furrowed and his lips were pulled down at the corners. Noctis had always had a melancholic look about him, but when he was truly inquisitive, his sad look only deepened on his features. She diverted her eyes and sat back in her chair, abandoning the closeness they were sharing.

"Are you really leaving Lucis?"

"I…" Her gaze dropped back down to his tie and finally she said, with an air of exasperation, " _Can I fix that?_ "

He sat up and looked down again, her eyes fixated on the offensive piece of cloth and he sputtered out, "Uh, y-yeah, I guess, if it is really bothering you."

She leaned forward hastily, her fingers making quick work of the fabric, undoing the knot and she remained quiet all the while. Noctis didn't know what to do except stay as still as possible, hoping she would not suddenly decide that she was going to wrap the silk thing around his neck and pull it tight, choking him to death. Then again, he had no real reason to suspect she would.

Lightning repositioned the tie around his collar, making a conscious effort not to accidentally brush against any exposed flesh, because if she did, she didn't think she would be able to pull herself away from him. It was just so damned infuriating seeing his tie look like a mess when she had told him over and _over and over_ again how to do it. Her eyes fixed themselves on the fabric and not the way his adam's apple bobbed in a swallow, or how he smelled like _home,_ or the how was wearing _that one suit._

"You smell like roses."

She hurried to finish, doing her best to ignore the comment and when she pulled the wide end through the hole she'd made and with both of her hands she straightened the whole ordeal, pulling it taut against his shirt collar. Lightning smoothed out the rest of his jacket and shirt with the brush of her hands and they lingered a moment too long. "There…"

"Lightning? You never answered me…" He asked as she looked up through her dark eyelashes, and Noctis gulped at the sight of her. She was close enough to kiss and boy did he want to, but that wasn't right. He couldn't bring himself to do that.

She turned her head and leaned back, sitting up, "I...I have to leave."

"Do you really? You can't stay a little longer," he didn't want her to leave before he could find out more.

Lightning pushed herself back and went to stand, her eyes thrown towards the walls, "I think I should call it a night." With that she began her hasty retreat. Noctis jumped to his feet rounding his chair and all but abandoning their dinner, before catching up to her.

"Wait, Lightning, you won't stay for dessert, at least?" He was hoping she would.

He watched her shoulders fall in a deep sigh before she slowly turned on her heels, her voice was cold again and Noctis didn't know what happened. They were fine just a moment ago. Unable to handle the uncertainty, he asked, scanning her face for any sign of a reaction, "Did...did I say something wrong?"

Her gaze stayed glued to the wall besides them and he was blown away by how anyone could look like that - _effortlessly perfect._

"I...can't do this, I'm sorry," her voice lowered barely above a whisper.

"What do you mean?"

She closed her eyes as if look at him might blind her and she balled her fists tightly at her sides. Pink cascaded over her eyes, casting shadows on her face, as she slowly began again. Slowing down as if that would affect how he absorbed the information, "I can't let you do this; it's not fair to you."

His mouth gaped open before he pulled his lips into a tight line. Noctis furrowed his brows and he stepped forward; she responded by taking one step back. Finally, he frowned, "Isn't that my call? Isn't it my decision if I think it's unfair to me? What if I like you?"

"You don't know me like you used to, okay? You barely know me now. It's better that it stay where it is now. _This_ just complicates things," her voice cracked and she crossed her arms.

Noctis blinked at her, quietly for a moment. How could she say that? "You won't even give me a chance to decide if maybe I want complicated? I'm not a stranger to it."

"It's... _different_."

"How?"

"I...Noctis, I…" Her words were dying on her lips.

Noctis stepped forward, slowly, as if a sudden shift in the air around her would blow here away like smoke. He didn't want to lose the chances he had left with her if she wanted to leave - _he didn't want her to leave at all._ Noctis took another step forward, close enough to reach out and touch her, but he kept his hands at bay. If she shrugged him off then he would feel worse; he didn't understand why she was desperately trying to push him away. In the beginning didn't she want him to remember like everyone else?

"If you didn't want to stay, you wouldn't have had dinner with me tonight, right?" Her gaze slid up the wall and Noctis continued, trying to get her to look at him. He would only be convinced if she looked him in the eyes and told him to back off. "I don't get it at all, Lightning, and I want to."

"Look," Lightning closed her eyes, her lips pulling tight and she snapped her head in his direction. When she finally gathered the courage to look at him, her gaze was as sharp as steel and her tone was fierce. She crossed her arms, jutting a hip out, pulling her shoulders up before dropping them in a quick shrug, "I can't let you waste your time on me. I shouldn't have agreed to this dinner, I should've went with my gut instinct and left when you still hated me. I messed up, okay? I can't rectify that, but I can stop it from getting any messier than it needs to be. I'm going to leave, and it'll hurt me, but I can't let you throw your future away trying to find the past again."

" _Can't_ , or _won't_?"

"Does it even matter?"

"Yes!" He ran a hand through his own hair and held his hands out like a beggar, for he had no other way of expressing how he felt other than as such. Did she want him to go down on his hands and knees and convince her to stay? Stay for while longer. "It is! Lightning, _I_ get to decide if I think I'm throwing _my_ time away. I don't think that at all! All I can think about since I woke up has been _you_ , whether I liked it or not - it's always been _you_ and now that I want to know you, you want to run away."

"I'm _not_ running away."

Noctis brought his hands to his sides again. "Then, why does it feel like you are?"

The pinkette readjusted her weight onto her other leg and she sighed, " _Why are you making this so difficult?_ "

"Why are you avoiding my questions?"

"I'm not running away. I'm saving you from the effort."

Noctis stood steadfast, not backing down from the challenge of getting her to let him know her again. He wasn't convinced that she believed in her own words. "Then why are you still standing here arguing with me? You could easily walk away right now. If anything, yesterday was proof you still have feelings for me. I promised to marry you once, that should mean something. I want to find out what that is."

"You promised to marry Luna, too, but how did that work out?" Her words were meant to sting, he knew. He brushed them off. This wasn't about Luna; this was about Lightning. _Always about Lightning._

"That...that was different. You had to know that was different. She broke off the engagement because I loved you, and you said yes, so that meant you loved me back. I don't think you want to leave, Lightning. You could have turned away as soon as you had given me back the ring, but you stayed even after. _So, why?_ "

She grumbled, but didn't say anything to his rebuttal. He took this chance to get closer - inches away, testing to see if she would push him away or retreat. Lightning did neither. Instead, she met him face to face, and her scowl twitched to crack but she managed to keep face. Noctis spoke low, "Tell me right now. Look me in the eyes and say you don't still love me. You tell me that right now and I will stop. I'll leave you alone. I won't chase after you when you go and I won't bother you anymore. Tell me you don't love me and I'll stop asking questions and let you walk out those doors right now."

There was a thick tension in the air, and Lightning grit her teeth so hard she thought she might crack them. Noctis was close to her, so close he could smell the faint roses again and see the flecks of green hidden among the blue sea in her eyes. He saw the battle storming behind the irises as she fought to find the words.

And suddenly like her namesake she answered, " _I hate you._ " Quick, but painless, and suddenly he felt his move jerk forward involuntarily, the thing that happened he could _never_ forget.

 _She kissed him._

She kissed him and there was nothing but white in his vision—blinding light. It took a moment for Noctis to realize his eyes were closed and he'd been stiff to her touch. His body remembered before he could. One hand found the small of her back and the other settled on the base of her neck, not a single bit of the action foreign, like they were fitting exactly where they belonged. He could barely dwell on the fact of how comfortable he felt standing like this with her. The sensation of pulling her flush against him, deepening their heated embrace, too familiar in every sense. Lightning's lips brushed his as she parted her mouth, tongue slipping past his own. The taste would've brought him to his knees had he not been holding her up. _He'd quite enjoy the taste of veggies a little more if ever it prompted a memory of this._ Her hands couldn't decide whether to grip at his shoulders or his shirt, but eventually found purchase in the dark locks of his hair.

Her nails raked through and Noctis couldn't stop the smile that stretched onto his lips and into the kiss. He hummed a little as she tugged a little roughly but, he couldn't say it didn't stoke the fire igniting inside of his belly. The blood in his face rushing where Lightning's knee rubbed unconsciously, pushing his mind over the edge. His inner battle completely surrendering to the side that whispered temptations and promised nothing but pleasure. The dangerous coaxing of his mind that urged him to ignore all common sense and logic—to abandon any lingering reservations he had towards forgetting anything about her. The fraction of him that longed for Lightning so ardently it made him physically ill winning like letting out held breath.

When she pulled away, breathing heavy, azure eyes searching his for a sign to stop or continue. Her mind was fuzzy with lust, heady with thoughts of tearing off his jacket yet, still the alarms in her head where yelling at her. Telling her that _this was such a bad idea!_ She was hyper aware of his fingers softly ghosting at the nape of her neck and how her skin tingled under his touch. Lightning gave a sigh, her breath mingling in with Noctis's and he spoke first. His tongue darted to wet his lips, and given their close proximity, the tip of his tongue just barely grazed her top lip. It sent a stab into her chest. His voice was low ( _and she still stood firmly behind her denial of a voice kink_ ) as he asked, "Is that how you always kissed me _because_..." And the smiled that stretched from ear to ear on his lips was contagiously spread to her own.

It was a kiss that could make the Archaeons weep, the type of kiss that inspired lovers to compose symphonies, and Noctis felt the stars colliding around him would not tear him away from Lightning. The way she kissed him was the way everyone should be kissed, like it was the first and very last time they would be kissed. Such a desperate need that verged onto fervert territory, but with such a tenderness that it filled you with promises of more to come.

Had he been born a poet, he might have come up with an entire sonnet worthy of how the world seemed to spin around them as he stayed in a single, solitary point in the universe. Noctis felt dizzy like when you roll down a hill and end up watching the clouds turn around and around when you stop to laugh. She kissed him and for a moment, it didn't matter if things made sense or not because _wow, why didn't he do this earlier?_

They were only human, of course, and air was a very important aspect of living.

She pulled away to place a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth, speaking onto his cheek, "You're infuriating, you realize?"

"It wasn't intentional, _I promise_ ," he mused.

Her head turned away and Noctis could practically sense the wall hastily being stacked back up, and the way she looked down and way, her white teeth biting into the wine red on her lower lip gave no rest to the butterflies wreaking havoc in his belly. The way her hair curled in small tendrils around her sharp features made her look like a painting. She'd look lovely on the walls of the Lucian citadel. He had noticed the flecks of green that had hid themselves in the sea of blue that were her eyes like they only shone for those that she wanted—little peridot secrets he wished to keep for himself. His heart stuttered when she looked up at him through darkened lashes and with furrowed brows. He wanted to hug her close and kiss her all at once because - _gods, she was gorgeous_.

Lightning closed her eyes and pushed against his chest, a shaky tone replaced her breathless one, "I know this is a bad idea, Noctis. This is not good for either of us."

"Somehow I doubt that's ever been a problem for me and you," he admitted, his hand brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear and like a flower to the sun's rays, she instinctively leaned into his hand. They shared a look and Lightning caught herself before she could fall completely back into a haziness she would never be able to recover from, pushing even more on his chest. He gave her room and the difference was instantaneous. His nerves buzzed, fuzzy and eager to feel her contact once again. "I want you, Lightning. If anything, right now, that's the only thing I'm certain of. I want to know you again, and I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life relearning every little thing that makes you _you,_ but...I don't think I can live without you, Lightning. That much has been made very clear."

Lightning scoffed at his confession, and not in a patronizing way, but in disbelief. Noctis, when he wasn't trying so damn hard to be charming, had a natural sweetness that would seep through his thin veil of pretending to be cool. It was annoying— _endearing actually_ —and Lightning had missed it with every fiber of her soul. She missed how he'd flash her a toothy, lop-sided grin when he would try and impress her. She missed waking up next to him. She missed hearing him tell her how he was going to put up all these silly statues in her honor when he became King. _She just missed Noctis._ The moment she took to steady herself was brief but long enough for Noctis to try and speak again.

It was more of a weak attempt to backtrack on his words, his cheeks deepening in a rosy color. He figured that she wasn't answering because she was rejecting his offer. When she spoke, she had his full attention, and she hated how hard it was to look him straight on without wanting to grab by the lapels and make out with him. "You make it so damned hard to leave."

His eyes searched hers with a certain desperation that could almost convince her that she had a choice, "Then, don't."

She sighed because she couldn't say anything to that. Not what he wanted her to say anyways. The way he looked to so expectant and flushed was not helping her case against her actions. She couldn't believe how easily she was giving in to the Prince _Charmless_ whims of being a nervous boy all over again– _damn—_ and Lightning closed her eyes one more time before pulling him back down to kiss him.

* * *

His touch was slow and hesitant at first like he was touching thin glass, and it drove Lightning insane. Somehow she had ended up, half on the dark mahogany of the table and one leg still on the ground. Every part of her wanted to be wrapped up in Noctis - wanted to be entangled in him, be as close as possible like her life depended on his skin against. It drove her crazy that he took _so_ _long_ to find the hem where her gown split apart and it took everything in her not to tear his shirt off when she felt the tips of his fingers ghosting against her bare thigh. Her leg hiked up his waist in response, and snaked itself around his hip pulling him closer into her.

She had a hard time choosing between keeping her eyes open so that she could see him- _because, he looked damn good in his tailored suit with his hand smoothing against her flesh-_ or screwed shut- _because his tongue was sliding across her neck and that wasn't fair._ When he found her ear, she could feel his breath as it fanned across her neck and it was sent shockwaves through her entire body. Any sense of restraint was whittled away into nonexistence and she felt her body temperature skyrocket.

Despite her best efforts to keep him in place, he was easily able to slip away from her. She could barely register what was happening when she felt the callus of his palm on the warmth of her bare legs and one on the base of her neck urging her to tilt her head back, allowing him access to more and more for him to worship. He finds the shell of her ear, his hot breath clouding her mind with desire. "Should we just skip right to dessert?"

Not so easily willing to give up her position on the slightly higher ground, Lightning provided a snarky reply, "You think you deserve that? Eat a damn green bean for once."

The rumble of his chuckle reverberated through her and it shook the smirk off her face. Noctis pulled away and furrowed his brows, "Hey, can't you see I'm setting a mood?"

She brought him closer by his tie, her words could have moved his own lips, "Better step up your game, then, Prince Charming."

" _Is that a challenge?_ "

* * *

Noctis's fingers pressed into her thighs, a feeling known to Lightning, and welcomed with a fervent desire of the closeness. Every inch his lips explored, he logged into his mind - a _no stone left unturned_ kind of mentality taking full reigns in his efforts. Noctis could think of no better feeling than her hands in his hair. He'd pocketed the offensive garment that had separated him from his goal some time ago, and with an impatient squeeze of her thighs, Lightning silently urged him -

"You gonna just stare all night, Noct?"

"I'm getting to that part, Lightning."

"Slow as ever. Somethings never change I guess," her head tilted to the side and a sigh left her.

"You're lucky I'm down here and not up there," his eyes flicked up and she met his with an equal amount of challenge. He narrowed his own cobalt, not amused with her hastiness. Noctis could play this game, too.

"You'd be doing a lot more than you are-!" The words caught in her throat, whittling away into nothing but a sharp gasp, her eyes shutting tightly.

Her hands braced herself against the table, taken for surprise at the sudden jolt of pleasure coursing through her veins like livewires. If she'd not known any better, she'd have thought he didn't have any amnesia because it was bullseye from the get go. The sheer material of her gown felt scratchy and if she could let go of the tabletop runner she had in a white knuckled death grip, she might have the right sense to peel the damned thing off entirely. He was just as eager as ever to please.

Lightning strained to keep her eyes open, and his gaze was on her. Watching and the intensity only made her legs quiver in anticipation for the end.

Her mind was reeling for any sort of tether - the edge of the table, his hair, _anything._ She was floating and the pressure inside of her was building to a climax, edging her over the side of reality into something distant and faraway. It felt unreal, like she was dreaming it all up. Lightning missed the attentiveness that Noctis had towards her - he'd clearly not lost that same principle.

His grip only grew tighter when he dipped inside her and Lightning stuttered out an inarticulate mess of words, something crossed between a curse and his name followed as the toe of her shoe nudged into his side. He came up for air and the hum of his voice brought her carefully constructed composure to bits and pieces, "What was that, I couldn't hear you properly."

She panted out, "Y-you're an -"

Lightning had no room to think about how she was going to keep herself propped up while smacking him for being so damned smug. Her heart was beating so fast she thought her chest might burst and her toes curled in her shoes, one heel falling from her foot to the ground. If it made a noise, she couldn't hear it through the sound of her pulse. Noctis paid an extra attention and care to the bundle of nerves when she moaned out his name so beautifully, it just couldn't go without recognition and an expression of gratitude.

The music was building to a magnificent crescendo, and a sudden jerk to the left, Lightning's eyes rolled back and shooting stars blinded her vision, her body shaking throughout wave after wave of complete pleasure shooting to every nerve, a holy revelation, her mind was clear, and the world was silent for a moment - just a split second she was in suspension and she couldn't tell if she was breathing or not.

Like the shattering of glass on tile, her euphoric high crashed down to the ground.

" _Your Highness!"_

Noctis was stumbling to his feet, his face shinier than before, a look of horror on his features, and Lightning lazily turned her head over to look behind her. A switch in her head flipped at the sight of two, or maybe three, she didn't have time to count before she threw herself up and off the table, difficult considering she could not feel her legs at all. Noctis was scrambling to grab her fallen shoe and handing it to Lightning.

Breathless and frantic Lightning took her other off and grabbed for Noctis's hand, he was still stunned silent, "Just go! _Just go, Noctis!_ "

They never did finish their dinner, either.

* * *

Lightning's hair flounced about in a horribly jumbled and tangled heap but the laughter that bubbled out from her as she gripped his hand almost brought Noctis to his knees for there was naught a thing more breathtaking to behold—heels in one hand and dress skirt flowing about her long legs as they escaped down a hallway, face flushed and heart racing a mile a minute.

Around the corner they took time to catch their breath. She punched at his upper arm, a feigned look of anger on her that wore like amusement, "I swear to Etro, if this ever reaches Prompto's ears, _I'll end the Lucian line myself._ "

He rubbed the afflicted area before her reeled her in by her arms, kissing at her cheeks then at her lips, unable to stray away from her much longer. She pinched at his side, "I'm serious!"

Stepping back, and with a dramatic flourish, Noctis bowed lowly, "As my honor as a Prince, I will keep _milady's_ virtue intact."

She snorted at that, waving her hand through the air, "Think that's a little too late, _Your Highness._ "

"Almost makes me feel jealous of myself," he said, coming back for another assault of kisses.

" _Narcissist._ "

With a devilish smile, Lightning was pressed up against the halls of the Lucian citadel. She clutched the shoulders of his jacket as he sucked on the part of her neck that made her legs gelatin ( _and she was just starting to lose the rush of adrenaline that accompanied being caught with her legs over the shoulders of the Prince_ ) and her heart stutter. His wandering hands found the warm skin of her thigh, hiking it up; she swore if he wasn't holding her, she'd have collapsed and the way he was kissing - _she could die right there._

"Noct–" She was cut off by his lips and she brought her free hand to his chest, pushing on him, to grant her lungs the sweet freshness of oxygen. "Noctis, can you–"

Between peppered kisses, he smiled, "Yes?" Each kiss on her lips was addicting; he couldn't get anymore and she pinched his side so that she could think properly, "Ow!"

With another scoff, she flicked his forehead, " _You want to get caught again?_ "

And the image of his father, or worse Ignis, rounding the corner rushed to the fore front of his mind, the dopey grin on his face shifting into embarrassment, and he grabbed her by the hand to guide her along the hall, "On second thought, you may be right."

"I know I am."

* * *

His back hit the door before he could even find the lightswitch, not that Lightning needed that, she could remember the room's layout like the back of her own hand. Her hands were as faster than his mind could process and the distinct sound of leather slipping past the fabric of his belt loops. The buckled clanked somewhere against the hard flooring, leaving a ringing in his ears.

Her dress was a different matter altogether.

Noctis strained his eyes as he fumbled around in the dark, feeling for a seam and with a frustrated hmph, he grumbled out, "I can't figure this dress out."

She nipped at the side of her jaw and smirked against his skin, "That was the point."

"Help me out, will you?"

"Figure it out, I believe in you," she teased, and Noctis did what any red-blooded Lucian would have done - he adapted and made an executive decision.

Lightning's eyes went wide when she felt cool air touch the sweat on her back, sending shivers across the exposed flesh, but more so at the sound of fabric being ripped, mercilessly. She took a moment to put two and two together and she punched him in the shoulder, "You ripped it!?"

He pushed the fabric down her shoulders and shrugged, "You said figure it out, and I did, didn't I?"

"If I wasn't trying to get you on that bed, I would kill you right now."

"So, you've said before, Light," he said so casually and his expression shifted as he looked at her quizzically. Immediately he apologized, "Sorry, I called you 'Light', didn't I?"

Without so much a blink of an eye she found his lips again, "I'm anything but offended, Noct."

She shrugged off the dress and stepped out of the pile of (now) ruined fabric to press herself back up against him. She was tiptoed and her hands were sliding under his jacket to speed things up in her favor. He moved them back, breaking when he needed watch where he was leading them.

The backs of her knees hit the side of mattress and she fell into the plush of the comforter as he toed off his shoes one after the other. His jacket was quick to follow but she was already gripping his dangling tie before he could start on anything else. Just as nimble as they were to knot the silk strip, they undid it with skill, "If I knew you better, I'd say you had done this before."

"If you knew me better, you'd know that this taking far too long for my tastes."

The tie fluttered to the ground as he climbed over her, her hands working for the buttons on his shirt. He kissed her again, sloppier this time, hasty to get any contact because she was right. It was taking far too long. "I wanna know what you like, Light. _Everything_."

Noctis threw his shirt somewhere behind him and it landed Gods know where before he was back over her, sucking at her neck and hands roaming, feeling every bit of skin Lightning offered to him and he doubted this one time would ever be enough. _No_ , he was certain of it. Once would not be nearly enough.

Her hands pushed down his pants and with a sharp intake of air, he was in bliss. Shuddering Lightning purred in his ear, " _Figure it out, then, Noct._ "

And he smirked at the challenge.

* * *

"Lightning?" He finally said after the long silence after they had both caught their breath. She did not respond, and his head turned to see her eyes shut. He pulled the comforter that had been shoved around to the foot of the bed, over the two of their bodies, warmth covering the chilled sweat on each of them. He found that the closer he was to her, the more tired he felt. As if being around her just put him at ease. Noctis's eyelids felt heavy with every passing second, his consciousness teetering between two states of being. Sleep was creeping up on him, but he wasn't ready just yet.

He spoke low enough again, his face inches from her own, happy to give up his best pillow for the sake of her resting well. "Lightning?"

"Hm?" She wasn't yet asleep, and the pink haired woman slowly peeked through her dark lashes. He brought his hand up to her face, just enough to brush the strands of hair back out of her face, because he wanted nothing in the way of obscuring her from him.

"Nothing, I just wanted to say your name again."

"Noct?" she mumbled into the pillow. He hummed. She leaned up to place a chaste kiss on his lips, smiling against the feeling she said, "Go to bed."

" _As milady commands."_

* * *

 **Stephany,** _ **that**_ **one was for you.**

* * *

 **And for** _ **everyone**_ **that has ever read this, reviewed it, followed it, loved it and/or hated it, I wish you the best in 2017! Put 2016 (that hellish year) behind us and move forward! (I was supposed to update this before the new year, but ya girl got too lit and then had a revelation to rewrite it eight times…)**

 **please accept this as a peace offering for all the hurt I have so far bestowed unto you and although, it is brief may it cushion the blow for any and all further pain that may or may not be endured in future chapters**

 **geez, if you could have heard the playlist that I wrote this chapter to, hahah** _ **awful**_ **like** _ **1986 power ballads bad**_

 **My cats judged me the whole time I was typing out this chapter (especially Prince Noctis, who even made a wonderful addition of** " _cdfffffffffff kj"_ **to the story's spicier area).**

* * *

well, see ya 'round! tumblr: **aranea-hi-ghwind** , as usual feel free to yell at me about updates, talk to me about Noctis and Lightning, my cats, or just memes.


	11. Striped Carnation

**(I'll see you all in the end notes.)**

 **Definitely not as long as the last two chapters, but perhaps a** _ **close**_ **second as my favorite…**

 **Enjoy!** _ **(I know I did.)**_

* * *

There it was again.

That comforting scent that wrapped around her and helped lull her into complete security. She felt herself about to melt into the plush comforter and mattress, her eyes half lidded, met with a tuft of black hair in her face and she squinted before pulling her head back and repositioning herself to shift facing away from the ends of his hair. They were tickling her nose and the foreign sensation begged her to sneeze though she sniffled out to alleviate the itch. Her eyelids fell once more and she could feel herself drifting back into deep sleep her body was still in. It wasn't before long that the bed dipped behind her and two arms came to snake around her sides, softly and gently pulling their owner's body towards herself. Light felt his face bury into the center of her scapulas and his slow breath fan across the flesh. She wriggled little bit, her eyebrows furrowing, mumbling into the pillow, " _Too hot...Noct…"_

Of course the sleepy heir did nothing except throw a leg in between hers, interlocking the two into a human knot, to which he muttered something along the lines of _"...the big spoon setting the rules."_

Lightning huffed indignantly, roused from her slumber and unable to completely fall back asleep with the human equivalent to a barnacle was currently stuck to her back and refusing to let her go for completely selfish (and barnacle) reasons. Again she groaned in defiance to her current position, " _Let me go, Noct, you're too hot…"_

His tired chuckle muffled into her hair, _"Flattery will get you nowhere."_ In hindsight, she should've seen that one coming.

" _Wasn't a compliment…"_

She could feel the pout on his face as she said it. Had she been able to wriggle out of his grasp and face him, she might have kissed him. Noctis shifted about and when his leg unhitched itself from her's, she thought maybe she had won. Rolling on top of her with little more than the intention of annoying his dearest fiancee, Noctis rested his head under her chin, effectively trapping her. She huffed, breathless under his full weight. " _Noc...tis, get..._ _ **off**_ _!"_

He hummed in response, but did not move. Her eyebrows knit together and she struggled to free one of her arms from underneath his body. She tugged at the strands of hair at the base of his neck. _"I can't breathe, Noct!"_

" _You can breathe, Lightning, you just don't love me, that's all."_

" _Unfortunately, I do."_

" _Do what?"_

" _I'm not going to say it to fluff your ego."_

" _Do it and I'll free you."_

" _I'm dying, you know? I'm suffocating under you. Is that how you want me to go out?"_

" _Say it and you'll live, then."_

" _You're obnoxious."_

" _Here lies the body of the love of my life…"_

" _Oh, for the love of -" she sighed and rolled her eyes, a smile nonetheless on her lips. "I love you. There, now off."_

It was then that he looked up, propping himself up, hands on either side of her, but relieving her from the dead weight of himself. Noctis's hair a display of aggressive bed head, he looked dashing regardless and Lightning crossed her arms beneath him _. "All the way, Noct."_

" _Why? Afraid I'll do something?"_

" _No, I just know that look you have when you are up to nothing good. You're looking at me like_ that _right now. So, get off, all the way."_

Noctis smirked and kissed the tip of her nose lovingly, a coy look upon his face like he could do nothing wrong. It was the mischief that reflected in his eyes that gave his true intentions up. Lightning narrowed her own in challenge. _"What? I'm not doing anything!"_ He laughed at how seriously adamant she was in her accusation.

" _Not yet,"_ she added when he smiled, teeth on full display and there was a moment that he just stared at her. He liked looking at her, especially when she wore a serious expression. Maybe he liked the way it reminded him of their first meeting, or perhaps it was how fierce she looked. Lightning had the full capacity to push him off of her, but she let him play and Noctis's favorite game was cracking her serious expression. _"You're the prettiest girl I know, Light."_

" _Flattery will get you nowhere, Noctis."_

" _I love when you use my words against me, Light. It's kinky,"_ he smirked and she pinched his side. _"Ow!"_

" _That's for saying stupid things,"_ she rolled her eyes and scoffed. _"You're awfully cheeky this morning."_

" _I finally get to wake up in bed with my fiancee after three weeks of sleeping in a tent with three other dudes - Prompto snores so loud, you know? - and I can't be happy?"_

" _I'm not used to you calling me that."_

" _I like saying it, or is the Great Lightning Farron going to berate me for calling her that?"_

" _Y'know I can push you onto the floor and burn your bacon. I won't feel bad at all. Keep it up, buddy."_

" _You'd burn the bacon anyways,"_ he snorted.

" _Really now?"_ Her eyebrows shot up and she tilted her head.

" _Sorry, sorry, sorry!"_ He cringed. _"I love your cooking, Light. It is...go-gr-perfect."_

She narrowed her eyes back into suspicious slits again. He still had yet to move from off of her and she wouldn't put her guard down until he did move. _"Mhmmm, right. You plan on staying like this all morning, then? That bacon isn't going to burn itself, you know?"_

" _What about breakfast in bed?"_

" _I'm not letting you get crumbs in bed again because you want extra crunchy toast."_

" _What about if I eat you instead?"_

Her ears tinged bright red and Noctis smiled wide, it was the _perfect_ window of opportunity and he took full advantage of her embarassment to find her sides, his fingers ghosting at her soft, sensitive skin before squeezing delicately, wriggling his fingers sporadically. Her jerk reaction was instantaneous and with a chipped defense, she fell easily to the ticklish sensation at her sides. _"Noct! Dammit, I knew - Hahaha! Stop!"_ Her hands clutched at his shoulders, fingers digging into him as a reflex but he was relentless in his assault on her sides. Her legs wriggled around, too, as laughter bubbled out of her. _"I swear to Etro, I'm - hahaha! Noct - haha! I'm gonna - hahaha - gonna get you back -"_

" _I'm trembling, Light,"_ he smirked in his victory and stopped to kiss her breathless. She flung her hands around his neck and when he pulled away, his body went tumbling over the side, landing on the ground with a loud thud as he was knocked breathless. He thought she was mad at him, but Lightning came tumbling down soon after, ready to reap her vengeance.

" _Guess breakfast is out?"_

* * *

 _A dream? No, a memory._

* * *

She was _not_ in her bed.

She was _not_ alone.

She had done exactly what she promised herself she would _not_ do.

When Lightning blinked away the sleepiness, she could feel the stickiness in her mouth and how desperately she needed to take a shower. The weight of Noctis's arm was slung over her hip, but not as she had dreamt it. No, this was not their apartment and she was not his fiancee anymore. She was careful to lift herself up and prop herself on her elbows. Her hair flew in a tangled heap and she could taste the wine on her breath. Lightning sank back into the pillows and her hands found her eyes.

 _You shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be here. Leave. Leave. Leave._ Her conscience playing the guilt track on repeat, churning her stomach, an uncomfortable nausea overcoming her. She put her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes, focusing on not puking right there over the edge of the bed. The pink haired woman concentrated on her breathing, her cheeks felt hot and her brow began to head sweat. She sat up and slid her legs from under his arm, onto the tile. Her hand still firmly pressed against her mouth.

When she stilled, the contents of her stomach shifted and she knew she could not wait any longer. Lightning's bare feet padded against the cold tile as she all but ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her in her haste, praying that she make it to at least the sink.

Noctis had felt his arm twist uncomfortably and flipped to his stomach, curling the appendage beneath his own pillow. The loud slam that followed made his entire being jump. His heart pounded, but he didn't move to sit up. The Prince lay startled amidst a heap of soft blankets and messed up sheets. _Who could be making that much - ?_

Oh. _Oh._

Cobalt eyes snapped open as reality dawned on him. _Lightning. Lightning. Lightning._ His mind buzzed gleefully as he remembered the events of last night. A smile spread onto his lips like wildfire and he slowly propped himself up, twisting around to see what doors she was slamming. Light shone from underneath the bathroom door, a sign that she was still there. Noctis relaxed at that thought. It was like a confirmation of last night - that they had actually been together. A blooming sense of what could only be pride welled in his chest - he felt like he could take on the whole of Niflheim with this feeling. Lightning had stayed with him all night.

He could hear the faint sound of the sink running and Noctis sat up to take in his surroundings. Noctis felt a sting on his bicep and he twisted his arm into view; four lines of pink welts marred the flesh there and he traced one, a smirk taking the place of his sleepy grin.

His desk, a once picturesque beacon of organization and professionalism that sat near the balcony doors in his room, now barren of stationary. The cushions of the chaise lounge hanging precariously off the edge and his tie had somehow managed to find a home on one of the end posts of his bed frame. Noctis couldn't help but feel a little full of himself as he felt a stiffness in his muscles, but a wonderful lightness in his heart.

She looked perfect, her outline silhouetted by the backlight of the bathroom's fluorescence. He did not fight the toothy grin or how his mind could only go _**!**_ when his eyes sought out hers. She flicked the light off and closed the door gently behind her. He swore an arrow shot right into his heart when he noticed that she was wearing his shirt from last night, haphazardly buttoned and bunched up in some places as a result. This left little to the imagination as her legs that stretched for miles were on full display. Noctis resisted the urge to fall back into his pillows and hope that he wasn't simply dreaming this up.

Instead, he said her name, "Light." Her attention went from the floor to him and she stilled, the hand that had rested on her lips landed over her heart. Noctis patted the area next to him as a wordless invitation to _come back to bed_ and Lightning stared on silently.

Lightning wanted to take him up on the offer - slip back beneath the warm covers and pretend the rest of the world did not matter, but that was not possible. Not what she - _they_ did last night. Evidence of their coupling littered the room and she knew there was a tenderness about her thighs that had not been there yesterday morning. He called her name again and she swore she could collapse into a gelatinous puddle from the low timbre of his morning voice forming the syllables of her nickname.

 _Just like he used to..._

 _No! Get it together, Lightning. Get your shit and leave before you make matters worse. Hopefully no one will -_

"Are you okay?" There was a genuine concern in his tone and she wished he hadn't woken up. It was her fault. She slammed the door. _Careless._

Her gaze shifted to the door as she raised one shoulder in a lazy shrug.

He tried again and she pulled the skin of her bottom lip between her teeth, holding back everything that was on her mind.

"You should come back to bed, isn't the floor cold?"

The Lucian heir moved his head to see if he could catch her eyes but they seem to fixed on the wood of his bedroom door. On the exit.

Oh. _Oh._

"Light... _ning_?" He tacked on the ending, aware of how intimate it sounded without it. Even with the obvious irony about his split second decision, he could see her body tense at the sound of her own name being spoken so softly. He made a note to not to do that. He was not stupid. He could tell when someone was looking to bail out of a unsavory situation. The only difference was that he could not understand why _this_ was one of those times. Did he read last night all wrong? He didn't like to toot his own horn or anything, but he had never had any girl tell him he was terrible in bed before. _Who would tell that to the Crown Prince, though?_ Maybe he shouldn't have come on so fast like he had...did he take advantage of her? It felt like a punch to the gut. Did he make a mistake? _What was wrong?_

Treading carefully through his words, he hoped he could remedy the terse air, "Lightning, if I...did anything wrong last night - "

"No," she said suddenly. His eyebrows furrowed in response.

"No?"

"You...didn't do anything wrong, Noctis. I...I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Lightning, you did absolutely nothing wrong, I mean, like, _anything_. " He made a horizontal cutting motion through the air to emphasize.

She turned to face him with a small dusting of pink on her cheeks, thankfully too faint to see in the dimness of the room. Her hand went to her cheek and a solemn expression dragged her lips into a frown, "No, I...I took advantage of the situation, I _still_ am. I...I let my emotions get the better of me and now…" she sighed and crossed her arms, eyes falling back down to the ground.

Now Noctis was truly confused. He thought, if anyone was being emotional, it was him. He could self reflect with the best of the them and admit to acting like a hormonal teenager. He wasn't sure what she meant. "I was the one who pushed you to stay. If I made you feel like you were pressured into -"

"I wanted to! _I've wanted to,_ " she stopped him mid-apology and her eyes burned with a fierce determination that he didn't expect to see on someone this early in the morning. _What was the time anyways?_ He made a move, when her face turned back to the door, to slip out of bed. He had his boxers on and he curled his toes as soon as they touched the icy floor. Walking across the chilly floor, her cautiously began towards her. He approached slowly, afraid that she might run away if he flung himself at her in a hug (which he wished he could) and then fling themselves back to the safe warmth of the blankets.

"Light - "

He never got to the suffix as her wrist flew to cover her mouth, a nasty cough resounding in the room. Noctis stopped to let her recover, but her fit does not relent. In between the harsh coughing, he can hear the distinct wheezes that she made in an attempt to gather oxygen into her lungs. He sees her falter on her legs, looking to topple and he rushed to her side, his arms caught her, but she pushed him away when she balanced herself. Lightning slapped her chest with the butt oher her palm and she wiped her mouth unceremoniously on the sleeve of his shirt. To which, she quickly apologized for. Noctis wrung his wrist, his brows were knitted together in concern, "Lightning, are you okay? I can call for someone - "

"You don't have to," she breathed out. Noctis is closer to her and she looked paler than she had, as if her color was drained.

"Are you still feeling sick?"

"Something like that," she tapped her chest again and cleared her throat. "Excuse me." She took a wide step away and silence befell the two of them once again. Noctis chewed the inside of his cheek. Something was wrong.

"Well, are you hungry? I can have the cooks prepare -"

Lightning cuts his offer off, "I should get dressed and leave before someone comes looking for the Prince. It wouldn't pose well for either of us if someone like Ignis came by with your duties this morning and found me here."

And Noctis felt disappoint write itself on his features, "I would rather spend the morning with you."

She sighed, "Don't neglect your responsibilities because of me. I always hated when you did that."

He crossed his arms and shrugged, "It's your legs. They are distracting."

Lightning hadn't expected that and although it brought about a heavier blush onto her cheeks, she cleared her throat, "Then, I should get dressed before Lucis falls into complete ruins. Hate to be the harbinger of doom because my legs were distracting the Crown."

With that Lightning searched around to find that her black gown lay in a crumpled heap near her feet. She bent to pick up the garment and held it up, the fabric falling down the length of her. A giant tear in the back, splitting the bodice down the middle, and she made a noise of disappointment. She turned it around to show Noctis, her head tilted around the gown, awaiting his reaction.

He cleared his throat, crimson stained his ears and face as he put a hand on the back of his neck. Lightning quirked her lips and amusement danced in her eyes as he flustered in front of her, his free hand outstretched in offering, "I - uh, I'm sorry about that. I can, uh, buy you a new one or if you want, I can send for it to be repaired -"

"It's fine, Noctis, don't worry. The gown was old," She threw the dress over to the bed and scratched her hair, softly and mumbled, "I won't need it anyways…"

Noctis blinked in realization that she still wanted to leave and now she was going to be forced to leave in his shirt - _only_ his shirt as it seemed. He probably had to take a very cold, _cold_ shower to punish himself for staring just a little too long when she went to grab up her dress from the ground. To salvage whatever gentlemanly virtue that he had left, he strode over to the dresser behind her, and pulled on the second shelf. He shifted around the neatly folded shirts that sat inside and turned, a shirt in each hand, he asked, "Er - do you want the moogle shirt or one of my many, _many_ and _diverse_ black ones?"

Lightning flicked her bangs out of her face with a puff a breath and asked back, with a lighter lilt to her tone, "Do the black ones have any skulls?"

"Uh...no," he looked at the one in his hand and then to the sea of dark cloth in his drawer. "Wait, yeah - wait, _why_ is that problem?"

Lightning answered by grabbing the moogle t-shirt out of his hands with a hint of a smirk quirked on her lips. Before Noctis could defend his poor fashion tastes, he could feel all brain function cease to work properly as she began unbuttoning her own shirt. Noctis swallowed hard and averted his eyes upward as if he was fringing on her privacy by looking despite that technically, he _had_ seen her naked last night. He could hear her chuckle.

And he couldn't stop himself before he knew it, turning and slipping on his own shirt, "I think that the kitchen makes pancakes on Sundays and since Dad is home, they will most definitely make an excess. It would be nice to have you for breakfast at least - er, I mean have breakfast _with_ you. " Noctis cleared his throat again, having turned fully around to face the dresser and he felt like banging his head into his to shut himself up. Maybe if he hit himself hard enough in the head, he'd forget how stupid he sounded?

Lightning flipped her hair out from underneath the collar of his gaudy moogle tee and sighed because Noctis was turned around, nervously word vomiting something about _how breakfast is the most important meal._ She jut out a hip and took a moment to watch him squirm in his own discomfort and nerves. It was just the first time, she mused and the simple nostalgia brought about a dull ache in her chest. Noctis was just the same and and sincere and awkward as the very first time they'd ended up in bed together and Lightning wanted to snake her arms through the loops of his arms and bury her face in his back. She did not want to leave at all in fact, but she had already done too much. _Pull yourself together, Lightning. Find some pants and get out._

He asked her again - about sharing breakfast and she opened her mouth to reject the offer once again, but a knock beat her to it. He turned his head to the door and she furrowed her brow. Another knock flitted in the room, and then a muffled voice, "Your Highness?"

And Noctis turned to fully face Lightning with a pained expression plastered on his features, his mouth moving around the silent word, the same time Lightning silently vocalized it, _"Shit."_

Noctis whispered, and came towards her figure. She still had his shirt in her hands. The Prince crossed his arms, worry tilted his mouth to a slant, "What should we do?"

She shrugged her shoulders high up to her ears and gestured to the door, "Answer the door, _obviously._ "

He looked her up and down quickly and asked, "What about you?"

"I'll hide on the balcony; he has to leave eventually."

"But...you're _not_ wearing pants and it's freezing out. I don't want you to catch a cold."

"Noct, this won't be the first time I have had to hide out on the balcony, in the freezing cold, scantily clad. I will be fine. _I promise,_ " she kissed him on the cheek before leaving to retreat to the balcony. He stood there, dumbstruck on a number of things but had no time to dwell on them as Ignis knocked again.

"I am coming in, Noct, you had better not be sleeping still," Ignis announced.

Noctis practically threw himself onto the mattress and under the covers; Lightning's dress slipped over the side but he shot up to catch it before it hit the floor. He shoved the gown under the covers and the bedroom door opened. Ignis stepped through with the usual look of stoicism on his features. The prince tried his best at pretending to have just woken up, despite the racing of his heart. Ignis stopped upon seeing the state of Noctis's room.

It was an absolute mess.

Noctis made a show of yawning. He couldn't have Ignis's sharp eyes finding something that did _not_ belong to him among the messiness. It was enough to draw the advisor's attention to his liege and Ignis sighed upon seeing that Noctis was still in bed. Crossing the room with purpose, Ignis procured a tablet from behind his back, scrolling through it, and Noctis cringed. This was never a good sign.

"Just waking up, Your Highness? It is nearly eight o'clock," he did not look up from his screen and Noctis sat up, rubbing his eyes as an added measure to sell his performance.

"S'normal for everybody else in Lucis," Noctis grumbled in his best imitation of sleepiness. Really wasn't too far from his regular voice anyways.

"Yes, well, you aren't everybody else, are you, _Your Highness,_ " Ignis looked up over the rim of his glasses and Noctis rolled his eyes.

"What's up, Specs?" He yawned.

"I decided that since you are perfectly capable of sneaking out of the castle, you are just as capable of returning to your normal duties as the Prince. I have taken the pleasure of setting up your schedule for the rest of the week to begin attending the usual Council meetings with your father. I have a stack of documents that need your approval sitting in my room; I should have a portion sent to your desk -"

Ignis stopped at his desk, looking at the area where it sat. Noctis followed his gaze and then back to the brunette. Ignis blinked.

"Uh, Ignis?"

"What in the name of the Six happened to your desk?"

With a sharp inhale and long exhale, Noctis shook his head and narrowed his eyes, "I, uh, thought I saw a bug last night."

Ignis slid his eyes over to him in disbelief, "Hardly cause for trashing your desk, don't you agree?"

"It was _huge_."

He sighed, pushed his glasses upwards on the bridge of his nose before continuing, "Like I was saying, I will have the portion sent your desk - after someone has organized it _again_ \- by the time you are finished having breakfast with Lady Lunafreya. You needn't think too hard; they should only be the well-wishers concerned about your health. A simple thank you should suffice, your signature is what they are really looking for anyhow."

"I'm having breakfast with Luna?" His chest deflated.

"Yes, it appears Lady Lunafreya has been called away to the countryside. Her duties as Oracle outstand her visit here in Lucis. It would be good to wish her safe travel before she departs," Ignis clicked the tablet off and placed it behind his back once more, "Unless you were planning on doing something else this morning?"

"What?" Noctis shook his head, "No, I wasn't...Is that all?"

Ignis eyed Noctis for a moment and Noctis feared that he might know something was up, but after a few seconds, the bespectacled man bow his head slightly. "I expect you to be up in ten minutes, you know how punctual Lady Lunafreya is when it comes to breakfast."

"Right, right, I'll be up," he slipped out of the covers and stood up next to the bed. Ignis made his slow retreat towards the door, eyes scanning the room, looking for -

" _ACHOO!"_

Noctis stilled. Ignis stopped in his tracks.

Noctis sneezed into his hand, "Achoo! Just me, Ignis! Think I might be catching a cold - _don't go to the balcony!_ \- I was the one who sneezed!" Noctis moved to go to the doors leading out onto the balcony, but Ignis was faster and had better traction to make it to the doors before the Prince. Ignis glared and swung open the curtains and Lightning stood covering her mouth and the advisor opened the door.

"Miss Farron, fancy seeing you here."

"Ignis, I - "

"I was on my to seeing you next," he cleared his throat and pushed on the rim of his glasses once more. She could see the vein on his temple as he clenched his jaw and she tightened her lips into a straight line, because she knew _she_ was in the wrong. "It would be best you dress yourself decently for the King."

"What does my dad want with Lightning?"

"That's what I would like to know as well, but His Majesty spared no details. I was hoping to ask Miss Farron after seeing you off to Lady Lunafreya. I had my own suspicions, but I think they have just been answered."

Lightning crossed her arms, her white knuckled grip on Noctis's button up the only indication of her feelings. Ignis sighed once more, "I will be waiting outside for you, Miss Farron. Do be quick about it."

And he left without another word, the sound of the door shutting breaking the tense air. Noctis shivered as the door was still open with Lightning half dressed, her eyes averted and a rosy nose from the brisk air outside. "Come inside, Lightning, I'll get you a pair of sweats."

She didn't move for a moment, and Noctis thought that she didn't hear him so he began again. She brushed past him, his words dying on his lips. He took little time in fetching her a pair of sweats and she took no time in sliding into them, rolling the waistline so that she wasn't dragging the hem of the legs on the floors. "I…" And Noctis couldn't say anything more; truthfully, he didn't have anything to say. He just wanted to make it better. He wasn't sure what he had to make better, but he hated that she was acting distant. He supposed this is what it was like when he had shrugged her feelings off of him when he woke up. _No, you idiot, it was worse and you know it._

She turned before leaving, and looked at him. Noctis waited silently, and he thought she might say something, but she pursed her lips and opened the door, exiting without acknowledging Ignis, who had taken to standing across the hall. Ignis took one look at Noctis, "Lady Lunafreya is awaiting you in the Outlook again. She expects you within the hour, Noctis."

He went to catch up with Lightning and Noctis was left with a inkling that he was missing something.

* * *

His goodbye breakfast with Luna had been filled with long silences, and short responses on his end. Noctis couldn't help it; his mind was elsewhere. He wanted to be in the moment with Luna. It was rude, he knew, and he tried his best to hide his distant mind but Luna seemed to catch on quickly. She did that. If Luna was bother by it, she made a very good show of not making it known to him. Noctis had walked her to her car and they shared one last hug before she kissed his cheek and slipped into the car. (It felt different when Lightning kissed him the same way. _Lightning, Lightning, Lightning._ His mind kept playing it over and over again like song on repeat. _)_ He waved to her as the car rounded away.

He even waited until he couldn't see the vehicle anymore, as it disappeared around the corner with a full Glaive escort.

He didn't wait another minute before he was turned around, bounding up the steps again. He checked a clock on the wall when he passed one, and he wondered if Lightning was still talking to his father - _hopefully_.

Noctis rounded the corner to wing that lead down to the elevators. He didn't expect to run into anyone.

"Iris?"

"Noct!" Two lean arms flung themselves around his midsection and squeezed him tightly before the shorter Amicitia pulled back and profusely began apologizing, "Oh! Sorry! I forgot, you're hurt! I didn't make anything worse, did I?"

He shook his head, still shocked to see her there in front of him. He cleared his throat, "Uh, no, no, you're fine. I'm okay. It's pretty much healed, just a little sore."

"Oh, good, good. That's good. Gladio's been pretty worried about you, and Light, too," she frowned, a hand coming to her cheek as she leaned into it. "I heard about your engagement, too, Noct, are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine, thanks for asking, Iris. What do you mean Gladio's been worried about Lightning?"

"Just because she's been under the weather, I heard," Iris clarified. "I hope she's okay, I haven't seen her in months!"

"You...you guys were close?"

"Huh? Oh! Right! I'm so dense!" She poked her own temple. "Gladiolus told me about the whole amnesia. I met Lightning when you came back after the ceasefire; I would ask if you remember, but…"

"So, are you on your way to see Gladiolus?" He bailed out the conversation and Iris lit back up, seemingly grateful he didn't seem offended. She shook her head and pointed behind her with her thumb.

"No, actually, I was on my way to go eat something. My brother's outside destroying targets, you know? Typical Gladiolus. When he can't clear his head like a normal person, he goes and beats things up."

"Does he seem mad at all?"

"Mad? No, not all, worried, I think. Sad, if you squint. I came to visit him when he called me last night drunk. I think you should talk to him, Noct," she suddenly lost the cheery tone. A genuine look of concern replaced the gentle smile she usually wore. "I don't like when he gets this way. If you aren't busy, Noctis, can you talk to him?"

"I tried once, but he seemed - "

Iris looked away and Noctis seemed to be on a roll with disappointing the women in his life today. Noctis restarted his sentence, "Okay, I'll talk to him. Or try to."

"Thanks, Noct," She smiled. "Now! I think today's Pancake Day, yeah?"

Iris hurried along past him and Noctis checked another a grandfather clock for the time before diverting his path to the training grounds.

* * *

There was no mistaking the hulking figure that was Gladiolus Amicitia. The man towered over most people and the wild mass of hair on his head was almost his calling card for Noctis. He sat out like a sore thumb, sitting with his back away from Noctis, his sword resting across his lap like he always did after they trained. Noctis didn't say anything at first, even when he slowed to approach his side, lowering himself to the ground, crossing his legs and placing his hands in his lap, letting the silence simmer between the two of them.

It was Gladiolus's rumbling baritone that broke it, "Straighten your back, Noct."

On command, Noctis sat up, his posture perfectly mirroring Gladio's and the sound of his voice a strange comfort despite its commanding tone.

"Are we meditating?"

"Not if you keep talking."

"Right," Noctis quieted down.

He heard Gladiolus let out a sigh, "I'm sorry, Noct."

"Hmm?"

"I haven't exactly been there for you when you needed me. I just...I have been dealing with things, myself. It's no excuse, I know, and I am supposed to be - "

"Gladio, it's okay," Noctis interrupted him. "I don't blame you at all for me getting hurt. I should have been paying attention. It isn't your fault."

"None of this would have happened if I had been there, Noct, you can't tell me, you don't think that's true."

Noctis shrugged, "I came out all fine, in the end. Lightning saved me, right?" He added that with a small smile. Gladio turned to face him, and although he looked mostly upset, Noctis could see some small inkling of amusement peeking through his gruff expression.

With a hmph, Gladio sighed, "That woman loves you, you know?"

"I...I know. I think."

Gladiolus scoffed, bemused, but not entirely cheered up. (He didn't look so glum though and that was good.) "Yet, here you are, spending time with me."

Noctis winked in his direction, "Oh, Gladio, you know you have my heart first."

The larger man pushed on his face when Noctis began leaning to rest his head on his shoulder, "Don't tell Prompto, he'll get jealous."

"Of who? You or me?"

"Both."

The two of them laughed and Noctis went to stand, "Don't be a stranger, okay, Amicitia.'

Gladio grunted in response and waved his hand. Noctis turned but put a hand on Gladiolus's shoulder. His expression suddenly very serious, " _You never failed me, Gladio_ ," Noctis let his hand slip from his friend's shoulder before leaving to find Lightning.

As Noctis's footsteps grew quieter, Gladiolus hung his head, his voice low, " _I did._ "

* * *

Noctis had fallen asleep waiting outside his father's office.

When he had finally gotten to the two large doors that led to the King's study, a guard had told him that King instructed no one to bother him inside during his meeting. Noctis had asked who the king - his father, no less (yeah, he would play _that_ card) - was meeting inside. Upon hearing that he was _still_ talking to Lightning, he figured he might as well wait it out. He didn't expect her to be much longer. King Regis was known for lengthy lectures, but surely two and a half hours was enough. Noctis had taken to sitting on one of the chairs outside of the doors and hadn't even noticed himself dozing off until he was completely asleep.

He had woken up when a beam of sunlight settled on his eyes, effectively ruining his peaceful nap. Noctis jolted from his slouched position and asked the guard for the time. He promptly replied that an hour had passed and Noctis shook the sleep from his body as he stood up.

"Are they _still_ talking?"

"His Majesty has concluded his meeting," the guard replied.

"I'm going in then," he said and the guard opened the door for him. His father sat behind the dark desk, reading glasses on as he peered over a document or two, head in his free hand. When the door closed, his father looked up and pulled down the glasses, letting them hang on the chain around his neck.

"Noctis?"

"Where's Lightning?"

 _Right to the chase, ey?_

His father's face fell into a darker expression and he set down the paper. "She already left. About half an hour ago, I believe."

"She left!?"

"Yes, we finished talking - She is not gone from the country, if that's what you fear, Noctis," Regis shook his head. "That's what she has been telling you, yes? That's she's leaving the country…"

"She's not?" Noctis was confused again. "Did...did she say she wasn't?"

Regis opened his mouth before promptly shutting it. He looked to be mulling over his words carefully. His father sighed, "I think you should talk to her, Noctis. I don't think it is my place to say anymore on the matter. And...when you do, please, _listen_."

* * *

A swirl of emotions whirled around like storm of uncertainty and wishful thinking in his mind. A part of him convinced that his father had somehow convinced her to stay, another said she wasn't leaving the country at all, just him (that didn't settle well in him), and another part of him worried that there was something she was hiding from him. He didn't know what it was but he was not good at keeping his mind from wandering to all sorts of wild ideas. Noctis had beelined it for her room - where his father had predicted she may be and he hoped that he was right.

His stomach churned with every step he took closer to her room. He turned the hall and he thought maybe he should have brought flowers. Every other time, he had brought flowers, so his hands felt awkward and empty at his sides.

Lightning's door opened and his heart stopped. Out stepped someone else, that Glaive - Nyx Ulric, and Noctis quickened his step. _What is_ _ **he**_ _doing here?_ Nyx jumped into a stiff posture, a grim expression left on his lips as he noticed the Prince glaring daggers his way. On any given day, he would have taken this opportunity to say something snarky, but Nyx could only let out a curt, "Your Highness."

Noctis's expression softened at the sound of his respectful tone. Any smugness absent in the Glaive's features and his eyes flickered down to the ground before he went on his way past him, leaving her door open to Noctis. Noctis could practically feel the thick air as he entered the room.

Lightning was facing away from him, her arms wrapped around herself, hair dark from moisture. She must've taken a shower recently and her clothes were casual - not his. She sighed, "Nyx, c'mon, I told you just let it rest."

"It's me, actually."

She visibly jumped. Lightning turned to face him and Noctis wore worry. She looked paler in the daylight, a puffiness around her eyes like she had been crying and he wondered if he ought to chase down Nyx to punch his lights out. Lightning wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her henley shirt. "I'm sorry, I thought you were - "

"Nyx? I know," Noctis added, "You passed me after you met with my dad, Lightning. Why?"

"I'm sorry, Noctis, I - I should've told you sooner, I just, I wanted to be selfish for once. I shouldn't have been selfish. I should've told you sooner. Everything would be better if I had just _told you._ But, now, now, I - messed up your life again."

"Told me what, Lightning?"

"You have _every_ right to be angry with me, Noctis," she stepped closer and Noctis didn't like the way this sounded.

"Lightning, tell me _what?_ "

Her eyes fell closed and her lip trembled. He closed the distance between them and his hands rested on her shoulders, thumbs rubbing them, trying to ease her nerves.

"I'm sorry, Noct. I'm sorry."

"Why?

"Because I lied." She met his cobalt with blue that looked like it couldn't decide if wanted to be green or not. Tears stuck to her lashes and she let out a shaky breath, a final nail on the coffin before she finally spoke:

 _._

 _._

 _._

" _I'm going to die, Noctis."_

And just like that.

 _Time stopped._

* * *

 ** _okay, I'm ready for it._ **

**you have no idea how long I have waited to bring the Pain Train into the next station, ladies and gentlemen. Well, now the beginning of the end...begins?**

 **I didn't really want to stretch the reveal out longer than it needed to be because of what next chapter holds which is a shitstorm of emotions, so just prepare for that. And yes, the beginning was a memory that Lightning was dreaming about. I'm sure you guys were catching on, right?**

 **Thanks to each and everyone of you who has stuck around for this. Really, I do love and cherish everyone who has made this story worth writing and seeing people enjoy it only gives me the urge to write on. I love y'all.**

* * *

 _as usual, you can yell (about anything - cats, memes, ffxv, **this particular** **chapter** )at me on tumblr: **aranea-hi-ghwind** and now I will go away. lol _


	12. Bittersweet

**I was supposed to post this for one of favorite reader's birthday in February, but I couldn't figure out the chapter at all. After procrastinating and banging my head on the wall about what to write, I** _ **finally**_ **finished this chapter! Anyways, Happy** _belated_ **Birthday! (you know who you are)**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

" _I'm going to die."_

Her words hung in the air, clinging to the air and threatening to suffocate the both of them if someone didn't speak soon. She looked at his face - watched as he searched hers - and her heart pounded loudly in her chest. His lips parted and she half-expected him to say something that would make her laugh, but _nothing_. Lightning felt the burning in her chest building as the familiar sensation of pain ached in her lungs, a painful cough disturbing the terse atmosphere. She covered her mouth with a jerk of her arm. The long sleeve of her henley covered her wrist and with a step backwards, she turned to face away out of courtesy of not coughing in front of his face. Noctis stayed planted in his spot, and she couldn't see him as she hit her own chest to regain her composure.

When she was able to control her body again, she unceremoniously wiped at the sides of her mouth, pulling the sleeve into her fist, spotting the garnet splatters in the gray fabric. She stayed facing away. He was staring, she knew. Lightning could not bare to turn and see pity on his features, it would destroy the last of her remaining dignity. _She did not want his pity._ They stayed like this for a moment, her fingers gripping the parts of her sleeve that were stained of the proof of her own impending doom, and Noctis trying to make sense of her declaration.

If an airship engine had fallen on top of Lightning, she would have gladly taken it as an alternative to sitting in this deafening silence. She had pictured that when she told him that it would have gone over much more smoothly - a teary eyed explanation at worst - not this unbearable limbo of wanting to speak and not saying anything at all. The words were flowing a mile a minute in her head and her lips refused to part into any semblance of coherent speech. The most she had been able to manage was a small sigh.

What had felt like eternities - _two minutes and fifty-seven seconds_ \- of _nothing,_ Noctis was able to respond. His voice sounded odd. It sounded new after all this quiet and Lightning had to see him to know it was really him speaking, " _No._ "

Of all the reactions she expected him to have when she finally came clean about her doom, she had least of all liked this scenario. It was bad enough to have the others in denial; she could do without the most stubborn of them all refusing to accept it. Lightning sighed, this was not going to go easy.

( _Had she really expected this to be easy?_ )

"Don't do this, Noctis," Lightning implored him, a meager attempt to ease him into the light of truth. His eyes, searched her face and she bite her cheek. He had that look on his face like she had just slapped him and told him she didn't love him anymore. Honestly that would have hurt less and she had thought about it. Once or twice. But she had fallen too far deep down the rabbit hole, in love and selfish enough to lie, and Lightning couldn't even leave without making sure he didn't hate her. "I am dying."

"Then, why?"

Her back straightened and her muscles tensed, her throat feeling tight around her words. Every one harder to say than the last, "You had been hurt, badly and I -"

" _Why?_ "

"You were… _dying_ , Noctis...I was -"

" _Why?_ " He asked again, eyebrows furrowing, his hands found a place on the sides of his face, brushing backwards into his hair before they fell at his sides again. She jut out her hip, chewing the inside of her cheek before answering again, "I couldn't let you die -"

" _Why would you stay?_ "

And that's when she realized he wasn't asking _why_ she was dying.

And her heart _broke_.

"Noctis, I…" _Noctis, I wanted to tell you, but I love you and just being around was enough for me and I wanted to be selfish and linger where I should have been leaving. I hated knowing that you were going to forget me, and I just wanted you to have one good memory of me. But I took advantage of it. I was greedy when I should have let you go and now I am doing more harm than good. I took advantage of you and there is nothing I can do but apologize because I am sorry, so, so sorry. I'm sorry, Noctis._

But her words failed her. Noctis asked again and she could hear hurt mingling with rising anger, "Why would you lie to me? Why wouldn't you just tell me? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I wanted to, Noctis, it is…. _complicated_."

Noctis felt his heart pounding. His chest felt tight; he could feel how hard it was to breathe and he could feel his whole body vibrating. It was like someone had just zapped him with a lightning bolt. All he could do was ask, "And that makes it _okay_?"

Lightning rubbed the side of her face and rested her head in her palm as she closed her eyes, trying to control her own voice. The lump in her throat was choking her. Lightning tried to explain, "I'm not trying to make excuses - "

"No, that's what you're telling me. You _didn't_ tell me because you _couldn't_ because it was complicated, right? _That's_ an excuse," Noctis snapped harsher than she would have expected and when she looked at him she felt the bile in her stomach shift. His eyes locked with hers and she dared not to glance away. All she wanted to do was kiss him and pretend like her new world was crumbling to the ground. "You knew all along and you still let me make a fool of myself."

"I tried to tell you - "

" _You didn't try hard enough_ ," he ground out, and she knit her eyebrows together in frustration. "You could have told me when you gave the ring back, when I didn't know you. When I didn't care about you. Why did you stay and let me...let me _believe_ everything was going to be okay? _Why?_ "

A million reasons flooded Lightning's mind. She stayed because she couldn't wake up knowing that he hated her. She stayed because the one person she considered home couldn't remember her birthday anymore. She stayed because she wanted to remember how he smiled. She stayed because the one person she wanted to spend every morning with was going to think nothing of her when he woke up in his bed. She stayed because she would die if it meant saving the one person who had given her a home when she had none.

"I don't know why I stayed, Noctis," she _lied_. "It...it doesn't matter anyways." Her lips pressed tightly into a line.

"It doesn't matter because you'll be dead anyways, right?" There was a bitter poison in his words and she knew that they were intended to sting her. It didn't hurt any less knowing that he was intentionally trying to hurt her. The tension in his shoulders was visible, looking more like a cat that had been backed into a corner, hair raised and eyes fierce. She knew he was agitated.

"This is...this is all wrong," He ran a hand through his hair again, as he began pacing around the room, his body buzzing, desperate for any movement if to channel the energy pulsing through him. He was just getting more and more irate with the realization that he was just - moments ago - dopey-faced and lovestruck. Noctis felt like warping to the top of the citadel and screaming, punching a wall, something- _anything_ to make his stomach from knotting into a bunch before he puked up all his breakfast. He felt sick and dizzy and furious and helpless all at once.

He was unrelenting in his effort to make her feel what he felt - _betrayed, angry, useless_ , "You just didn't care enough to let me know you were dying -"

And as much as she wanted to let him be angry at her because he had every right to be, she wouldn't stand there helpless, taking his malice, tongue in cheek any longer.

Lightning's arms flew to her sides and her fingers curled into tight fists, her tone evening out sounding as fierce as her gaze, "You get to be angry that I kept this from you, but if you - for one second think that I did this because _I don't care about you_ \- then you can save your breath, Noctis. I don't need you to tell me what I did was wrong, _I know it!_ I woke up every morning wishing that I would find the strength to tell you, but all I could think about was how glad I was that I _even_ had the chance to wake up and see you again. I thought I would wake up and you'd be gone and that I didn't save you - that I would wake up in a nightmare. It scared the living shit out of me and I had to make sure, _I had to make sure you were still alive_. And, I didn't tell you.

 _I didn't tell you_ because you started looking at me like you used to. I wanted so badly for you to remember me, if even for the _tiniest_ moment! I wanted to be selfish for once and I only made things worse and now I'm trying to come clean. You get to be angry that I lied, but don't _ever_ claim that I don't _care!_ "

He was quiet for a moment, the room filled with Lightning's ragged breath as she tried to calm herself. Noctis's expression faltered, but as stubborn as he was, he couldn't back down either as he ground his own teeth. Noctis could feel tears prick at the edges of his eyes, but the hole in his chest was filling with anger. He growled out, a defensive response, "But, you were _strong_ enough to tell the King, though. Just not me, right?"

And Lightning stilled for a moment, time stopped but she kept on breathing, her eyes meeting his own, and she felt the guilt washing over her. He kept his brows furrowed and his voice threatened to crack, "Did you tell that Glaive, too?"

She didn't say anything. What could she say in the moment that he was discrediting her with every second he pushed onward in his questioning. The sweat on her brow going as cold as the air in the room. He asked, "Did you tell them? Gladiolus and Prompto and Ignis? Did you?"

Lightning swallowed, but she would hold her head up as she faced her judgement as she had always done. With her answer, came her own fall from grace, "Yes, I did. They all know."

It was quiet, but she had said it with all the face she could muster out. The atmosphere was choking her, or maybe it was her throat constricting around her trachea, death tightly gripping around her neck.

Noctis couldn't see clearly. His vision felt dark around the edges and any noise had turned into high pitched static. Everyone knew. They all knew. It would have hurt less if she had held a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. He felt himself step backwards, seeing her expression wilt into guilt, but all he could manage was a grimace. Noctis felt sick to his stomach and the anger was bubbling back up his throat. With the force of how much he was grinding into his own teeth, he could have shattered them entirely had he not opened his mouth to speak, "I wish I'd never met you, Lightning."

He was gone before he could hear her fall.

* * *

Prompto can feel the death glare boring a hole into the side of his head as the clock ticks on repetitiously, filling the would be silent room with an almost comically theatrical scene. The angry mother staring silently at her guilty trouble child. The worst part was that Ignis wasn't even using his harshest look on the blonde gunslinger. It was then that Gladiolus's boots squeaked on the polished stone floor, shifting the room's spotlight unto his new uncrossed his arms, relaxing a smidgen if but to greet Gladio with a sense of civility Prompto did not deserve.

Gladiolus's hair dripped, evidence of a fresh shower or an intense workout. Ignis determined the former was the truth from his choice of a clean sweatshirt. Gladiolus lifted his phone before saying, "I got your text, what did Prompto do now?"

Compelled to defend his own position, Prompto said, "Hey! I didn't do anything wrong!"

Ignis sighed, his eyes lowered for a moment, and he met Gladiolus's amber gaze when he clarified the situation, "It's about Noct and Light."

"Ah."

The three men were not unaware of the fragility of the situation. It had been discussed over and over and time and time again, only after Lightning had made them swear to her that she would be the one to tell him. Had she been anyone else, they'd have broken it in an instant for Noctis. It was not Lightning, though, and they trusted her just as much as they did their future King, and in turn she was to be their future Queen. Above that, though, was the respect she had earned throughout her relatively short time within their group.

Prompto slouched and wrung his hands together, a guilty expression painted his freckled face. He was awaiting what the other two would say. For a week and some time, they had all been fighting, bickering amongst themselves about whether or not Noctis and Lightning should remain by each other's side and while Prompto was the most adamant in his desperation for Noctis to remember Lightning, Ignis was a firm believer in reality.

Ignis sighed, explaining to Gladiolus, "I should have known Prompto was far too eager to help me with my work…" With a pained look on his face, Ignis finally said, "He's with her again. I found the two of them, more or less in bed together."

"Shit," Gladiolus rubbed his eyes and the room fell quiet with a pregnant silence. The silent question of _What do we do about this?_ lingered in the air around them. It was hard enough to watch Noctis push Lightning away knowing she was going to die while her heart broke. It would be even more difficult to stand by knowing that Noctis would get his own broken, too.

It was the sound of flesh hitting stone that finally broke the silence.

"This is stupid! We can't stand around and do nothing!" Gladiolus growled out as the pain in his hand throbbed. He broke the skin on his knuckles and Ignis frowned. Prompto nibbled on his bottom lip, his eyebrows furrowed.

Ignis pulled out a handkerchief from his jacket pocket, holding out the cloth for the oldest male to take and tend to his own injury. He was calm, as he had to be, "The King met with her this morning. I believe he had his own concerns."

"Do you think he knows about last night?" Prompto edged his way into the conversation. He still felt guilty, but his intentions had been pure. All he wanted was the same as them; they wanted the happiness of their friends. On a second thought, the blonde lowered his eyes, giving into the somber tone he so desperately tried to mask, "She said she was going to tell Noctis last night. Maybe he _does_ know, Ignis. You know? Maybe he does know…"

Ignis shook his head, "No, he doesn't."

"I should've told you guys about it," Prompto pulled his mouth into a straight line, trying not to feel like he pushed Noctis down a pitfall of false hope.

"Yeah, you should have. I hate saying it, but this will only end badly."

"I just wanted things to be happy, you know? Make them smile again," Prompto sank to a squat, his arms outstretched on his knees and he hung his head. "I didn't think she'd sleep with Noct."

"I doubt she was entirely at fault. You hadn't seen him when he got back from their little adventure two days ago. He looked like he had when he took her on their first date. If I hadn't been so preoccupied in the library I could have stopped them both. I knew he would do something stupid after he and I briefly conversed upon Lady Lunafreya's arrival. It was my fault."

Gladiolus furrowed his brows, holding the white hanky to his fist, "What were you doing in the library all day?"

He readjusted his spectacles, "Research. I thought I might find something to help Miss Farron, thought there might have been something to save her."

Prompto sprang up and gripped onto Ignis's arm, a painfully hopeful look in his blue eyes, "Didja find anything?! Iggy, please tell you found something!"

"I'm afraid not. This Goddess, this _Etro_ , the texts on Her are near impossible to find. The worship of Her and the pantheon of Gods that she belonged to long since abandoned since the formation of New World, or so I am aware of. It is strange, I think, that Lightning would ever encounter such a being, or a being claiming the guise of Etro."

"So, basically, we have nothing to work with, and we are right back where we started?" Gladiolus summed up the situation. Prompto's face fell as his expression did, slumping back to his squat and falling back on his bottom, his knees bent. "What do you suppose we do then?"

Ignis sighed, rubbed the hem of his sleeves. He blinked, contemplating his own answer. They had been trying to find a way to save her for weeks. Ever since she had told them not to try and save her. It was stupid, really. Lightning had explained her situation and it had hardly made sense in the first place. With such little to go on, Ignis had been the head of this whole operation, tirelessly thumbing through ancient texts hoping to find anything that would aide in their efforts. He prided himself on having a solution to most problems, but this one...this one he couldn't help and it made him feel powerless and useless.

It was the sound of the doors bursting open wide, banging hard against the walls. The sound made the three jump, alert. Bright blue crystal dust flashed. Gladiolus summoned his greatsword, the sound of metal on metal reverberated throughout the training room. Prompto scrambled to his feet and rounded behind Ignis. The scene fell into clarity.

Noctis, eyes an angry crimson, his engine blade scraping against Gladiolus' greatsword.

"Noct! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Gladiolus shoved Noctis back, taking a defensive stance. Had he not made such a loud entrance, he'd have felt the Prince's blade slicing across his flesh. Noctis was hardly in the mood for conversation as he recklessly advanced, his sword swinging downwards, easily matched by Gladiolus. "Noct! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Noctis! Stop it!" Ignis summoned a pair of daggers, ready for any attacks that may have come his own direction. Prompto gulped, standing directly behind the advisor, his own words calling out to his best friend, "Noct! Buddy, calm down!"

"You all knew! You all knew! You all lied to my face! You all knew!" He screamed out, a renewal of his own strength in each devastating blow he brought down against the blunt edge of Gladio's Hyperion. His form was sloppy, his footing was clumsy, he telegraphed his every strike and Gladiolus easily deflected his hits. The sounds of metal clashing against metal resounding through the hall.

"Noctis, calm down and we can talk!" Ignis's voice held firm against the chaos that had erupted with the arrival of their Prince. He warped towards Ignis, who had side stepped leaving Prompto to scramble out of the way, lest he be impaled to a pillar. Prompto nervously yelled out, "Noct! Someone's gonna get hurt!"

Without anything to hit, the sheer speed of his warp versus his own pathetic footwork had him tumbling towards the ground, he used his sword to push himself up quickly, looking for anyone to swing at, his words unintelligibly falling from his lips as his own emotions fueled him, "Why? _Why!?_ You're no better than she is! You let me think - _You all lied!_ "

Prompto evaded a slash and regrouped with Ignis, "I don't think he took it well, Ignis."

"Not the time, Prompto!" He responded in kind, the blonde's light attitude leaving him irritated. "Noctis, you need to calm down and let us explain!"

Noctis's breath came in sharp bursts, his eyes still burning scarlet as his grip remained white knuckled on the hilt of his engine blade. His stance remained aggressive as he panted, his glare could scorch flesh if he stared long enough. Gladiolus stayed ready to guard.

The Caelum heir tone shook as he found his words, "Explain what!? You all knew about what _she_ was doing! And you all stood by and pushed her on me - for what reason? Huh? _She was dead to me anyway, why didn't you just let it go!?_ "

"There is nothing excusable about us keeping the truth from you -"

"But you did anyways!

"I made a promise! I promised Light; I promised her that I wouldn't say anything and you don't think I have been living with that? You don't think I feel like I have failed you both? All an Amiticia is supposed to do is protect the Lucian royal blood and I let you die on the battlefield. I let you die and now Light is paying for it. I promised her - we all promised her because we loved her. And Light loved you enough to die. I wanted to tell you, but it wasn't our right. Taking that away from her would have just been a slap in her face!I made a promise and after all that Lightning has ever done for us, it was the least I could give her. I'm sorry, Noct."

"It's always Lightning, Lightning, _Lightning!_ "

"Because _she's_ the one who is paying the price!" Ignis flinched as Gladiolus's right hook collided with Noctis's jaw and Prompto winced, his hands flying behind his head. Noctis spit blood out onto the tile floor and moved to cradle his aching, red face. He wiped his mouth and the sight of the blood on his arm made him frown through the pain throbbing. Gladiolus fist disagreed with his choice and blood soaked through Ignis's hanky that he'd wrapped around his knuckles.

Ignis sighed, "Are you both done?"

Noctis spit out more blood and sat up, his arms resting on his bent knees, head turned away. He let his hair shade his eyes, not bothering to answer. Gladiolus scuffed his shoes against the tile and sank to his own seated position, looking far more casual than Noctis, one leg outstretched and the other bent. He stared at the Prince, "That was for Lightning, just so you are aware."

He scoffed, but didn't seem entirely forgiving nor amused.

Ignis crossed his arms, "Noctis?

Noctis pulled his lips into a tight line, his eyes finding a splatter of his own bloodied spit. He blinked and every moment of his jaw burned. He scratched his head, trying to figure out what he wanted to say to them. In the end, his voice came out smaller than he wanted, "So, it is true, then?"

"Yes, it is," Ignis said. The room went cold again, quiet, and Prompto nibbled his lip unable to stand the silence.

His feet dragged him over to his best friend's side and he descended to his knees, meeting his seated position with his hand on his thighs, "Noct, I'm sorry...we didn't mean for you to get hurt." His hand went for Noctis's shoulder, and Noctis shrugged it off. The blonde retracted his hand like he had been burnt. "We all love Light, Noct, and we want her to be happy just as much as we want you safe. _"_

"Prompto," Gladiolus shook his head and Prompto sat back on his feet, feeling guilty all over again.

"I don't know how much Miss Farron told you…"

"She is dying. _Because of me_ ," Noctis answered. They all shifted and Ignis cleared his throat.

"Miss Farron is the bravest woman I have ever known. Brave, but proud to a fault. It's not your fault," Ignis sighed. Noctis kicked out his legs and let his hand rest in his lap, his gaze shifting to his hands.

"Gladiolus says it is his. She says it is hers. Why wouldn't it be mine?"

"Okay, then, it doesn't matter whose fault it is then. But, regardless, it is... _the truth_."

"I don't know what to do, Ignis…" His gaze went up to meet Ignis's. Red replaced by blue. A look of fierce anger replaced by desperate sorrow. " _What do I do?_ "

The brunette blinked and tore his eyes away for a mere moment if only to gather his words. He couldn't bare to stand see Noctis with this expression. It made Ignis feel like they were young again. Noctis a little boy, troubled that he was left all alone and Ignis the ever faithful advisor bent on returning his Prince back to smiles again. Ignis let his arms drop to his sides, his words felt like lead falling from his lips, "We should...make the proper arrangements. It...it would do well to contact any of Lucis's allies so that they may attend -"

"Ignis!" Gladiolus snapped. "You aren't serious, are you? Funeral arrangements! She's not dead yet! There had to be something we can do! You were the one who first said that. What do you mean you are giving up now?"

Ignis closed his eyes, "I am merely being realistic…"

"Just because you couldn't find anything in books, that's it, then!"

"I don't want to believe it! I want Lightning... _Miss Farron_ to be safe just as well, but I -"

Prompto piped up, his suggestion cutting off Ignis. "Th-Then we look elsewhere, we could ask Luna -"

"I don't think it work like that, Prompto. And even if it did, we'd still be losing someone. She or Noctis, and- and Noctis is our future King...and _Miss Farron_ …"

"Is just as important!" Gladiolus finished, his own displeasure for Ignis's complete 180 on the predicament showing, blatantly obvious. "I'd rather something than nothing at all, Ignis."

"Let's say we do manage to contact a dead Goddess, what do _you_ plan on asking? Please give us our friend back! Please spare her! What do you think she did for Noctis? Ligh- _Miss Farron_ -"

"It's Lightning, Iggy! Say her name!"

"Enough!" Noctis finally yelled, silencing the argument. All eyes snapped to him. Waiting for something to happen and Noctis pushed himself off the ground, "What are you guys talking about? _A dead Goddess?_ W-what do you mean? I don't -"

"So, she didn't explain then," Ignis turned his head, "This ancient Goddess Etro, older than the Gods of the New World even, She is the one that spared your life...in exchange for _Miss -_ Lightning's."

"Why would an ancient Goddess gain from something like that?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask. Lightning...she didn't say anything about it?"

Noctis averted his own eyes this time. He hadn't given her the chance to explain. He just…

"I didn't... let her."

Gladiolus was the next to heave himself from the floor and brush off his pants, his arms crossing, not minding the sharp pain in his hand, "What do you mean?"

"I - I left before she had the chance," Noctis was slow to answer, his words drawn out, as if each one felt more bitter on his tongue than the last. He had not even bothered to go back, then again his warpath had only actually led him to swing his blade at his friends' throats. Noctis could feel his stomach curdle with shame, "I told her I wished I'd never met her."

"Noct!" Prompto sprang to his feet, his hands flying to his head again, "You gotta apologize…"

"I...can't," Noctis looked at the ground like he always did when he felt badly. It was the way you could tell he was faking it. It happened more than he would have liked.

"You shouldn't apologize for being angry, Noctis," Ignis interjected. "That being said, you don't need to know Lightning to realize how much that must have hurt her."

"But how can I apologize after that? It's not just about that, I wouldn't even hear her out…" Noctis grumbled.

Gladiolus rolled his eyes, "Apologize regardless. Even if she punches you, even if you feel like it won't solve anything. If you mean it, she'll know. And knowing Lightning, I know she'll understand."

"I'm sorry, Noctis, for not telling you. I really am," Prompto said, lips downturned, and Noctis gave a ghost of a smile, a quick twitch of his lips, if only to reassure his gloomy blonde.

"I need to think," Noctis sighed, he turned away. "I'm…"

 _...sorry."_

And he never finished as he walked out of the room, leaving them in silence.

He couldn't care less if soil and grass were going to be stuck in the chaos that was his own head of hair. He couldn't care less if it was cold enough to see his own breath. It was hard enough trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was going to lose Lightning when he was just barely getting to know her again and he couldn't shake how confused he was. How guiltily he felt. He'd been so nasty to her and walked out on her—more like ran out—and for what reason?

 _Because he couldn't understand why she stayed?_

She had told him.

Noctis never used to appreciate the night sky when he was younger. Of course, he would never hesitate in accompanying Ignis when they would go out and watch cosmic happening. (He fondly recalled all the times when Ignis would point to a group of stars, tracing the constellation and telling him about the myth that went along with it.) Even so, he never really appreciated the night sky until he was older. When the night gave him a time to think without the hassle of being the Prince. It was a time that he could close his eyes and pretend he was anywhere else in the world with anyone else, the weight of Lucis not resting on his shoulders.

It was under these stars that he felt the true gravity of Lightning's words. The scent of the white winter blooms blanketed over him, reminding him that he was still breathing in the first place. Noctis stared up at the clear sky, free from the pollution of streetlamps and he felt like it was the clearest he had ever seen the sky in a long time.

" _Miss Farron is the bravest woman I have ever known. Brave, but proud to a fault."_

" _We all love Light, Noct, and we want her to be happy just as much as we want you safe."_

" _I made a promise and after all that Lightning has ever done for us, it was the least I could give her. I'm sorry, Noct."_

They'd all left him with more shame in his belly than anything. He'd been cruel, far too cruel even given their situation. He felt worse than ever.

* * *

Noctis knew he was dreaming.

His hand felt heavier and when he clenched his fingers he felt something - someone's hand. _Her hand._ Noctis knew it was Lightning before she spoke and she did.

Her voice was distant as if she was talking to him in another room, far away, and too faint to hear what she was saying. It was nothing like today, her voice wasn't laced with grief. If he tried to concentrate he could pick up on some of her words, but never enough to figure out the gist of it. His mouth wouldn't move, sealed shut by some force stronger than his feeble attempts to pry them open and call out her name.

If he tried hard enough, in the corners of his eye, he could make out the shape of her lips moving around each word. Her voice faint but recognizably her husky tone. The corners of her lips were upturned and he could tell she was talking about something she liked and he tried so hard to hear her. To turn his head and look at her. The smell of her shampoo wafted in around him, like a little animated vapor cloud kissing his cheeks and dissipating out of sight.

He fought the invisible force holding his body immovable to the ground and strained every muscle. Noctis closed his eyes, willing every part of his being to spring upright. Like a string on a violin, he snapped up, his hand flying from her own and his mouth unzipping. Noctis's breath was heavy and he looked to his left to find nothing but the depressed grass in the shape of her profile. The crushed flowers mourning their once beautiful appearance, wilting away with haste into brown dust. He turns when he hears his name.

" _Noctis, c'mon,"_ Her tone is low, but she wore a smirk instead of a frown. Like she knew a secret he didn't. Her hand is outstretched for him and he took it, her hands cold and he stands, feeling lighter than air, as if he might float away if he let go too soon. Lightning is the one who drops their hands, the sun setting behind her sets her hair ablaze, making it more red than pink and Noctis wishes he could speak. The sun sinks, replaced by the starry sky blanketing him in the darkness of the night. The moon was gone, too. Just the stars. They twinkled more than they did in reality and he finds it comforting in a sense. She shines, brightly like a celestial being all on her own.

He can't hear her again, and she mouths the words again.

" _I can't...understand…"_ He tries to convey, but even his own sentences feel lost in the space around them, she smiles suddenly and Noctis instinctively looks down at his feet, his eyes meeting with a blade through his own abdomen. There is no pain, but there should be. Nooks at her and it's her own belly that bleeds. The wound pouring forth the crimson that seems to fill the ground to their waists. His feet lose purchase on the field that was beneath him, he thinks he is going to fall, but Lightning slips under the viscous liquid instead.

His hands go to search for her, feeling around but he finds nothing. The blood doesn't stick to his hands. No red stains them and Noctis feels a wetness on his face. At first he thinks he is crying.

It takes a moment for him to look around and see it is raining. The stars fall around him and so do does the rain.

Each droplet a pink petal. They splash like water when that hit his flesh and Noctis closes his eyes. The sky melts and so does he.

Noctis falls back, the feeling of falling making his stomach churn and when his back hits something soft, the rain stopped. More realistic than before, and he thinks he is awake in the field again. Except he can't move. And he can feel Lightning's hand once again and it is warmer. He can hear the soft humming of that song she had sung to him in their apartment.

When he looks up it's the sky again except the stars are masked by the clouds, a noiseless flash of light inside of them. He closes his eyes, reveling in the serenity of the moment, more calming than before.

It's when he opens his eyes that he's in his own bed.

* * *

 **I am not entirely sure how I feel about this, but it took me** _ **waaaay**_ **longer to write this chapter than I thought it would, but I think it was because it was one of those transitioning chapters (and I hate writing those ;^;) Anyways, I am actually really jazzed about the next one because it** _ **totally**_ **makes up for this one.**

 **As always, thanks for reading, it keeps this author going.**

* * *

tumblr: **aranea-hi-ghwind** send me your memes and I will send you pics of my cats


	13. Daisy

**My house caught on fire three weeks ago and I have been holed up in a hotel with terrible wifi, but regardless I tried my best to pump out a chapter for you all. As it seems, we are getting dangerously close to the end and I can't believe how much I have written for this and I can't wait for it to be over so that I can focus on writing other stories. I have so many ideas on the back burner just so I could figure this out.**

 **I rewrote this stupid chapter like 9 times and if I have to look at it anymore I think I am going to puke. Here. Please... _take it_. I will probably be writing the next one just so I can be free, as you read this. *ungodly screeching***

 **Anyways, this one is for my roof. Rest in pieces, pal.**

* * *

"I can't believe you can't use—"

"I will stab my fork into your thigh if you finish that," Lightning narrowed her eyes over the perfectly twirled forkful of noodles. Gladiolus tapped the tip of his chopsticks at her and chuckled to himself, putting his feet up on the edge of her bed. She leaned back against her pillows and ate the bite.

The television situated on wall of her room was tuned to some old movie where the acting was overdone and the plot line was cliched, but nevertheless remained a staple when combined with much needed noodles, somehow. It was a joke at first, but somewhere along the line, Lightning began to find herself enjoying the ridiculous movies and Gladio didn't seem too annoyed about them anymore either.

Gladiolus slurped up his own noodles, his eyes widening as the tip of his boot nudged her shin. With a mouthful of food, he unapologetically pointed towards the tv, "He's there!"

Lightning's attention went into hyper focus on the screen and she shushed his loud eating, "Do you think..."

"How could he know?" Gladiolus shrugged.

"Well, the guy showed up on Christmas; he must know something, Gladio," Lightning said, watching intently as the man in question crossed the room to meet with the woman in the film. The two watched quietly save for a few slurps of warm noodles. The man was brimming with bitterness at the betrayal of the woman he loved. She lied through a shaky tone.

Gladiolus huffed, mixing his Cup Noodles, "She's lying about it now? Making it worse..."

Lightning flinched at that, opening her mouth and feeling compelled to defend this fictional character to the point where it made her hands clammy, "It's her pride. She's too proud to tell him." He tensed at her words, but continued to look forward. The two lead characters engaging in a heated exchange about how it must have felt to be kept in the dark. Lightning nevertheless continued on her own thought. "Sure, it must've been hard on him to have his heartbroken, but you can imagine how she must've felt after they spent the whole movie talking about how they enjoyed the finer things in life. Picturing her life would go one way and it suddenly derails itself. It's... _heartbreaking_."

He turned slightly to catch a glimpse of her face. A seriousness that he had seen on her so many times before and Gladiolus knew she was thinking about a little more than a justification for the female lead in the film. A silence felt upon the two and he couldn't help but watch her out of the corner of his eye. Lightning put her foam container in her lap, absently stirring it as she watched the movie. As much as he had wished his attention hadn't waned from the movie, he could no longer find a way to enjoy what appeared to be the film's ending scene.

He had thought that bringing her the Cup Noodles and pretending that they were just enjoy another one of their casual hangouts, that he could ease his own worry, but he was wrong. It had been a lingering nuisance in the back of his mind: that little voice of guilty conscious. That little ache that he couldn't protect Noctis and Lightning. He felt the urge to bring it up, but the volume of the movie increased just in the slightest. Lightning set the remote back down on the side table.

" _Oh, it's nobody's fault, but my own! I was looking up! It was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there…"_

"Light…"

"Shhh…"

" _Why didn't you tell me? If it had to happen to one of us, why did it have to be you?"_

" _If you can paint, I can walk….Anything can happen, don't you think?"_

The couple onscreen shared their final, tearful embrace, the main theme of the movie playing the movie to its end. Lightning and Gladiolus remained in their silent reflection that felt like ages before Lightning finally cracked a smirk onto her features. She grabbed the remote and turned down the tv and said, "Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy…"

It was her way of diffusing the air that had settled between them. Gladiolus slid his feet off the edge of the bed and set his noodles on the side table. His lips twitched into a dashing smirk that had lost his affect on Light years ago. (Not that she would ever admit to the huge dork that he ever had any sort of affect on her.) He shrugged, "Aw, c'mon, it made your heart flutter a little, LIght."

"As if," Lightning snorted and placed her own cup next to his. She lifted her arms above her head and stretched, her words fighting to make sense against a yawn, "I'd _never_ fall for something like that."

A roll of his own amber eyes, he scoffed, "No, not Lightning Farron. She'd never end up with a cheeseball. She'd want someone a little more rugged, right?"

"You got me. All muscle, a lover of avian tattoos, but I doubt I would find someone like that."

"I might know a guy," Gladiolus flexed his arm, planting a kiss on the bicep.

"You would, would you? He wouldn't possibly be looking to partake in a very painfully brief, but dangerously passionate love affair by chance?"

Enter Ignis and an accompanying scoff, "Flirting again?"

"This isn't flirting, Iggy. If I flirted with Light, we'd have already been married by now."

"It's true," Lightning crossed her arms, the smirk on her face giving her an appearance closer to the one they all knew. The little strands of her hair that usually stuck out like sharp edges even seemed under the weather as they sloped downwards. Her eyes were noticeably dark around the edges and the color in her skin was a flushed out pale. Ignis couldn't help but take into account how sick she appeared versus how she liked to front to them. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to say something, only to be beaten by the cheery sing song voice of another.

"Here comes the sun, doo-do do-doo!" With a careless spin and a flourish, Prompto came through the door carrying a tray of breakfast foods, an orange flinging onto the foot of her bed and Ignis sighed. Prompto brushed past, humming his little cheerful tune, a smile bright on his face as he laid the tray before Lightning. He kicked off Gladiolus' shoes, and sat where they had been. It earned him a small kick to his shin, "Ow!" He rubbed the area fast and narrowed his eyes at his assailant.

"A please would've sufficed."

With a flick of his hair, Prompto faced Lightning, "What's shakin', bacon?"

She rolled her eyes and saw the food before her, appetizing as it was, she had only barely dipped into her Cup Noodles before having abandoned it. She was hardly hungry and at least with the cheap food she could fake it. She forced a grateful smile onto her features, "You didn't have to make me breakfast, Prompto."

"Ah, but it's the most important meal of the day and I worked-"

Ignis interjected, "You mean, _I_ worked hard."

"Ahem, _we_ wanted to make sure you were eating so that you'd feel better," Prompto adjusted his wording and Ignis shifted his weight. Lightning felt the eyes of all three of them on her and her stomach felt uneasy just looking at the eggs on her plate. No doubt Ignis had prepared the food as good as it looked, but her stomach disagreed with her eyes. The last thing she wanted was for her to take a bite and immediately puke it up. It would only make them worry more.

"It's dinnertime, though."

"It's _brinnertime_."

She reluctantly plucked up the fork and cut into the corner of the hash browns that only Ignis could have made _that_ perfectly. He ought to start a restaurant if he ever got tired of shoving Noctis' face into books to study. She was slow and deliberate in her action and she swallowed hard before bringing the bite to her lips and twitching a smile. It was divine; Ignis always made such good food, but nevertheless hard to swallow.

When their gaze remained on her, she coughed into her fist and cleared her throat, hoping the bite would stay down as she had with the noodles. She was taking too long for the second bit, this she knew and Gladiolus must've noticed the hesitation written on her face as he leaned in quick to snatch a piece of bacon from her plate. "Payment for the noodles."

"That's not yours!"

"What're you planning on doing about it, Prompto?" Gladio threw his feet back onto the bed and nudged the blonde off the side. His arms folded behind his head, as he gave Lightning a quick glance. She understood, setting her fork down beside the plate. Her eyes locked with Ignis' across the room and she straightened her posture, "Something wrong? You've been awfully quiet."

"Right...right. Actually, there is something. I was hoping you could rest, but-"

"I came up with a _better_ idea, Light," Prompto interrupted, his grin stretched from ear to ear. He wondered around the room she'd been in since her collapse earlier that day. It was one of the castle servants that had found her. (There was really nothing any of the medical staff could do for her except pump her full of fluids. Their tests would have come up negative for everything anyways. Her body was just bafflingly deteriorating and they had a hard enough time telling her to sit down let alone let them figure out what to treat her for. It had been a back and forth for the past few weeks that it was futile.) She'd been in bed for procedural and observational reasons. Gladiolus had swung by with noodles sometime in the late afternoon and they ended up watching an old movie.

Prompto reeled her attention back when he plucked a flower from the vase sitting at her table side. _Wishing you well, Lightning!_ the little card attached read in bubbly lettering only Iris could produce. He twirled one of the flowers in his fingers, "We missed Summer in Insomnia, and Autumn is pretty much in full effect-"

"Get to the point."

"Galdin Quay is the last place left where the sun is still shining and I was thinking we could go on a trip before the weather sours, you know?"

"Prompto, I don't think Miss Farron is in any condition-"

"Thanks for the concern, _Mom,_ " she snarked, "but I think I can handle a bit of sand."

"Lightning, you have to rest."

"I'll have plenty of time for that later."

Her morbid joke went without so much as a chuckle. " _Lightning._ "

She moved the eggs around on her plate, making neat piles. The corner of her chapped lips curved upwards and she gave into a sigh, "I need a little sun."

"You are kind of pale. Any less and I think you might blend in with the walls," Gladiolus stole another piece of bacon from her plate, gesturing with the meat to her pale complexion.

"I'll remember that when I am drowning you." Her leg nudged his feet off and he missed his mouth.

"C'mon, Iggy, we've been cooped up long enough, don't you think? I wanna see the ocean before we all get snowed in…"

Ignis heaved a sigh, "Are you completely certain you are feeling up to the car ride? It's not a short drive and I doubt the ocean is of any temperature to be swimming. There is a matter of securing last minute lodgings and making sure that if anything happens on the trip that we are prepared to-"

"Ignis. I will be fine. I want to go."

A protest died on his lips as she lifted her eyebrow. It wasn't easy to convince a man who was already the voice of reason. However, to deny this final request would be criminal and Ignis knew his words fell upon deafened ears. There was no sense in trying to sway Lightning or Prompto for that matter. He knew that the minute he had walked into the room, but at least he could say that he had attempted (half-heartedly, if you really listened) to stop this excursion. The brunette set his fingers onto the side of his temple, "I suppose there's nothing I could say to persuade you otherwise?"

"You suppose correctly."

Prompto slung his arm over Ignis's shoulders, "I knew ya would come around, buddy ol' Iggy ol' pal." With a wink in Lightning's direction, he supplied a mock-whisper, "Thanks, babe."

Lightning gave a single amused scoff, "Didn't know I was everyone's girlfriend these days."

"Speaking of...should we, uh, should we invite... _you know who_?

"Prompto...You can say Noctis, you know? It's not like his name is going to curse me."

"Right, _sorry_ , but do you...would that…?" The unspoken question of her comfort hung about regardless. Noctis had not taken to the news lightly and it was completely uncertain whether or not he would even agree to something like this. It would be one _long_ road trip if that was the case.

"Your idea, your trip, your rules." Lightning was cool as ever in her response.

"Okay! But I can't ask him...I gotta go secure our ride," Prompto returned the stolen flower back to its home.

"I have to meet with the Head of Agriculture," Ignis pressed his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose.

Gladiolus was not far behind with an excuse of his own, "I told Iris I would meet her and dad for dinner." All eyes fell on Lightning. Her eyebrow lifted in question.

 _So, that's how it is._

"So, then I guess the dying girl has to do the heavy lifting?"

* * *

Noctis had thought about marching into his father's office and laying into him, but he was at least smart enough to know that if he didn't clear his head first he might say something he might regret. Gods know he already messed up with Lightning and he had nearly tried to maim his friends. As it stood he was in no mental position to have a civil and understanding conversation with his father. He had thrown on some old sweater and found himself on his bench.

His dream had been odd and the more he thought about it the less he remembered. It was beginning to make less and less sense and there was no sense in trying to remember it anyways. Noctis took only one thing from it and that was Lightning. He wanted to hate her. It would be easier to sort out his feelings and right himself, yet here he had sat contemplating how he was going to apologize to her.

He was the reason she was going to die. He had left her alone when she tried to explain anything.

Noctis kicked at the ground with the tip of his shoe, his expression sullen and his mood souring with every thought that he had made her suffer anymore than he had already made her. He had woken up in his own bed and a part of him believed that was probably one of his friends' doing. He had to make it up to them. Their absence in his life lately seemed a little more excusable now that he knew about Lightning.

Lightning.

He kept thinking about what Ignis had said. About the Goddess, Etro. It was confusing. Nothing made sense in his life anymore. If he had his complete memory would it be any different? Would he have known about Lightning? Would she have told him? Would he have reacted differently? _Of course, I would have reacted differently. If I remembered her, I would never have said any of that. I would have stayed with her. Idiot, idiot…_

"You know, the last time I found you sitting here, you had that _exact_ look on your face. Which I can only assume you are brooding over something," Lightning's voice broke through his own thoughts and he snapped straight up. He thought he'd break into a cold sweat, but against all odds, his heart raced at the sight of her. He was no better than a goldfish, opening and closing his mouth with nothing but air coming out. She sat down on the edge of the bench, not asking for an invite. He felt himself freeze to the spot. He wanted to say, _"Wow, I was an asshole, please forgive me, I am pretty much the scummiest human being. I love your smile."_

Instead he managed out a measly, "Oh."

"Gladio found you asleep outside, That's how you get sick," she lolled her head to the side, a knowing look upon her face, "Hi, I am the kettle, you're the pot."

Noctis could tell she was trying to lighten the mood, but nevertheless he fell awkward. The guilt was rampaging at the forefront of his mind just seeing her. "Lightning, about yesterday, what I said-"

"I didn't come to talk about that," her answer was sharp, cutting him off, her eyes averting from his once more. Quick to change the subject, Lightning asked, "What happened to your lip?" She pointed before shoving her hands between her thighs for warmth. (The gardens at night were not warm in any respect.)

He shifted a little in his seat, "I...deserved it."

"Hm, I would say so."

Here's where he could have word vomited the greatest apology known to man, hoping taking her into his arms, dipping her and cinematically saying, _"You're my forever girl, baby, I should have never hurt you."_

Or: "You idiot."

She snapped her head in his direction, "Excuse me?"

He brought his hands up in his own defense, "Ah! I was talking to myself, er, about me...I swear it!"

She narrowed her eyes, "Hmmm."

" _I_ should go," "Lightning...I...I am sorry. I should never have...I didn't mean it."

"You had a right to be hurt."

"But, I should never have said that to you. I didn't listen. I…" He left it silent as that. Lightning sighed, her posture straight and her eyes stuck to the white flowers across from them.

"I'm not here to yell at you or cry on your shoulder, you can relax with the apologies. _For now_ , I mean," She looked at him in the corner of her eyes. Brilliantly hued despite the dark circles around her eyes.

It really was unfair how much of a level head she manages to pull in the right time. He'd seen her cry and yell, but he had to admit that in the grand scheme of it all, Lightning had been relatively calm for someone whose very life was being sacrificed. Noctis could say with confidence that he'd have been calm at all. "Gods, could you _try_ to be any cooler than me? It's my apology and you're outdoing me…"

"Who said I am _trying_?"

He laughed then, and the tension in his shoulders began to slowly melt away. She gave a small smile and cleared her throat, scratching her neck and stiffly beginning, "Anyways, I came to ask you something. It's Prompto, he thinks we need a vacation. We'd leave tomorrow...I...I am supposed to invite you."

" _Invite me?_ " Noctis scrunched his eyebrows together, "If I wasn't, you'd all have left without me? They _do_ like you better than me, don't they?"

"For the record, I never asked for any special treatment from them. Worrying about you, worrying about me, I think it's the same thing to them," Her eyes fell to the ground for a second before flicking back up to his own. She tapped her thighs and changed the subject, "Like I said, I was just _elected_ to invite you...have any problems, you take it up with Prompto."

Noctis wasn't sure he was up for a roadtrip. He doubted it would be a spacious car ride and it meant staying in the close vicinity of Lightning. She coughed into her wrist, excusing herself. Lightning added, "We're going to Galdin Quay. He wants to visit the beach before winter hits hard."

"Only he'd want to do something like that."

She stood suddenly to leave, "Well, the offer stands. We leave tomorrow morning."

Noctis watched as she began to walk away. Lightning looked worse than she had yesterday but even so, he couldn't help but feel his hands go clammy and his brain turn to mush around her. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her, hold her hands and tell her he would find a way to fix this. His better judgement stopped such impulses. The last time he let his control waver, they'd ended up in bed and within the next 24 hours, she was confessing her failing health.

"Lightning…"

"Yes?" She turned and she was art in motion. Her silhouette against the picturesque gardens at night stole his breath and nearly wiped his mind blank. He gulped hard. If he didn't say something, he'd hate himself.

"I don't regret meeting you."

For a moment he thought she would turn and walk away, but she mulled it over for moment, her response delayed. With bated breath he waited for her to speak, and she nodded before turning away, crossing her arms, he could hear her say, "Likewise, _Your Highness._ "

Lightning started to leave once again. He matched her steps with ones of his own, he said her name once more and she turned again in question. "Yeah?"

He cracked a smile, even if it was small and even if it hurt to see how her eyes were beginning to gloss, even if his voice felt shaky. "Tomorrow morning, you said?"

* * *

"How did _you_ get the Regalia?" Gladiolus scoffed, pulling down a pair of sunglasses from the top of his head. The day was sunny. Not a cloud in sight. Perfect road trip weather.

Ignis appeared, phone in hand, checking , "Weather reports say there is a chance of rain in the Duscae region, but the storm should miss the Liede region. It seems our outing was perfectly timed, lucky us."

Prompto nudged Ignis with his elbow, "You could try and look a little less glum about it, you know? And as for the Regalia," Prompto smirked, his thumb threw over his shoulder, "I ever tell you how I am good at poker? It's official Kingsglaive business, _we've_ got _clearance_."

"I think I ought to talk to the King about how much clearance the Glaive gets concerning high priority vehicles."

Slinging his own bag into the trunk of the Regalia, Gladiolus said, "Well, all that's left is Lightning's bag. Should I go and retrieve Little Miss Sunshine?"

Prompto flung the back of his hand into Gladiolus' chest, rapidly tapping on the hard muscle beneath the cotton tank. "Look at that!"

"Look at what?"

The last time that the older Amicitia had seen the future King and his Queen together had felt like lifetimes ago, so the sight of it now was shocking in the least. They were arm in arm and making googly eyes at one another, but for some reason it felt like he was watching Iris coming down with her date for Prom. Somewhere between wanting to lock her "date" into a headlock and wipe a tear or two that _dared not_ fall. Or at least something close to the feeling. Lightning wasn't dressed in a fine evening gown and Noctis looked like he had gotten into a fight with a hairdryer. He lagged behind Lightning, but he reached for the bag slung over the pink haired woman's shoulder. She tugged it back, probably telling him _she was fine_. And even though they weren't walking together, they had still been together and it was a step in the right direction from the shit storm that was yesterday.

"This will be interesting," Ignis sighed.

Prompto put his hands on his hips a pout on his lips, "Remember that this was my idea, boys. They don't call me the Sticky Fingers for nothing!"

"You realize that's an insult, right?"

Prompto's face melted into that of horror as he turned to face the advisor, clutching onto the sleeve of his left arm, "What!? No, it's not, right?!"

"What did _you_ think it meant?"

"That I was the glue that bound us together, or something! Who's calling me Sticky Fingers!?" Prompto turned his attention to Gladiolus and the taller male shrugged off the frantic gunner. In the midst of the frantic activity, Lightning had reached their car, her hair tied back, her bag duffel bag was small, she'd only packed what she'd need for the small getaway and it was just like her to be efficient in her packing. Noctis had a larger much more serious suitcase in tow. He was fostering a grumpy frown and that could only mean that he was half asleep to begin with as he all but tossed the bag into the trunk and slunk his way into the backseat with nothing but a mumbled, "Morning."

They didn't say anything about it.

Lightning sighed, "How'd you get-"

"He's having a breakdown, right now," Gladiolus said as Prompto leaned on the door of the passenger's seat, heaving deep, deep breaths. "How'd you get him to agree? After yesterday I was sure he'd have turned the offer down."

Lightning glanced at Noctis, who had already found himself a position of maximum comfort for a nap, "Everyone comes together at the end, right?" Her answer brought about a frown on to Gladio's lips. She went to go throw her own bag in with the rest, patting Prompto on the back as she passed him. Ignis cleared his throat, "Lightning, are you completely sure that you want to come along? I still think you should-"

"I'm going, that's final, Got it?"

"I have planned enough stops between here and Galdin Quay for bathroom breaks. I don't like it either, but we may have to settle on a roadside diner for lunch. After that, we should arrive in Galdin Quay a little after two o'clock? Rooms are booked, and dinner is reserved," Ignis checked off each item in his own mind. Lightning nodded along and Prompto shrieked, "I AM THE GLUE!"

"I am not even going to ask," Lightning sighed.

Roars of engines rounded the corner as black cars rounded to the front of the citadel. By the handful, Kingsglaive came piling out and into formation. Conversation had ceased as several cars rolled to a stop and more Glaives appeared. It didn't take long before Lightning found Nyx at the front. Standing next to him Crowe, and Lightning approached them with long strides. Her incredulous scoff was met with the roll of Nyx's eyes. "Did you find it _absolutely necessary_ to inform the rest of the Glaive, Nyx?"

"No, Sparks, _I_ only told Libertus. _He_ told Pelna, _who_ told Crowe, _who_ told the rest of the Glaive," Nyx stood by, his hands up and his shoulders to his ears. He wore a smirk that told her, he was not the least bit guilty about the whole ordeal. "Thought you'd need a proper sendoff"

"Going to the beach, not war. I hope you realize this is a little much, Altius."

Lightning had barely finished her sentence before Crowe's arms found themselves around her arms, locking her into a tight hug. Her chin dug almost painfully into her shoulder as Lightning was left to awkwardly bend her arms and attempt to return the intensity of the embrace. "Shut up, just let it happen. _Gods, I could strangle you right now._ Don't think I am not going to kick your ass when you get back."

Lightning smirked, not that she could see. "I'll count on it."

"Crowe…" Nyx coughed into his fist as he straightened into a rigid posture.

"Okay, I am going to let go, but only because I am on the clock." The brunette pulled away and squeezed her shoulders, "Go, go on, go have fun, Sparks. Before Nyx and I kidnap you and drag you to Glaive HQ so that you can't leave." She backed off, motioning to the Regalia.

"Don't start slacking because I am on vacation, you two."

"Yes, ma'am!" They both saluted quickly.

Then, they parted, but not without another painfully tight hug from Crowe's end. The Glaive was really only going to escort their car to the outskirts to the city, and thankfully more subtle than a traditional five car escort for sake of privacy. Though, anyone with half a brain couldn't miss as the Regalia rolled passed with two limo-tinted sedans in a tight convoy.

Prompto had claimed his front seat, chair pushed up as far as possible for the hulking tree trunks that were Gladiolus's legs. Noctis had already claimed the seat behind Ignis and Lightning was left to the center seat. Her arms in a tight crossed position. She was careful about her limbs touching her fellow backseat passengers.

Some top 40's hit quietly hummed in the mostly silent car. It wasn't until Prompto turned in his seat that life breathed back into the interior of the Regalia. "Light, you're getting in the water with me, right?"

She pursed her lips for a moment, leaning into the turn that Ignis was taking, "What'll the temperature be?"

"Iggy?"

Instantly, and with an almost satisfied tone to his answer, he said, " _Mostly_ sunny."

"Mostly," Gladiolus scoffed in amusement as he opened the book he brought along as entertainment for the long road. If Lightning got bored of watching the passing desert, she could peer over and try to piece together whatever the large man was reading. She had never bothered to ask, _perhaps she should have after all these years?_

"So, will ya?"

Lightning was not one to miss the emphasis on the word sunny and she cleared her throat, "I'll think about it."

"Sweeet!"

"We'll throw Noct in if he refuses to get up, 'kay?" Prompto winked and gave a thumbs up. The blonde returned to face the front and slightly adjusted the volume. He tapped on the dashboard of the Regalia, happily proclaiming, "Next stop! Galdin Quay!"

"Actually, next stop is the City Checkpoint, then the Hammerhead Station, then Longwythe, _then_ Galdin Quay," Ignis corrected Prompto.

With a huff, the blonde muttered a deflated, "More like next stop: _Buzzkill-ville_...amirite?"

"Lightning, you may have the front seat. I believe Prompto wants to walk to Galdin."

"Sounds good to me."

Light! I thought you were on my side!"

"It's called utilizing resources and take advantage of opportunities presented to one."

"Ugh, first the Finger thing and now I am being bullied. I just want to let everyone know I was the one who suggested this."

"Yeah, and you are also sleeping on the couch; you sound like a broken printer when you snore," Gladiolus nudged the back of Prompto's seat. Prompto slouched in his chair, grumbling under his breath. He'd snap out of his pouting session when food presented itself, but Lightning let the sounds of Gladiolus's laughter fill the car.

It was the times like these that she would miss.

"Sorry," Ignis supplied a second before they hit an unforeseen dip in the road, juggling Lightning in her seat. Her hand bracing on Noctis's knee before she retracted it quickly. She watched his face to see if he had awoken, but as she had hoped he was out cold. He'd barely been awake when they'd run into each other leaving the castle. Conversation had been nearly nonexistent save for the one time he reached for her bag to carry it.

 _Just pretend like the world isn't falling down, right?_

She leaned back into the seat, her shoulders bumping awkwardly against his, a breath of air escaping her as her knees knocked into Gladio's and his.

The car ride would be long.

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes.

But the trip would be longer and she could use the rest, anyways. _Besides it was only a 6-hour drive._

* * *

 **okay, this was supposed to be waaaayyyy longer, but I made changes to chapter 14 and 15's outlines and this became a baby chapter. I just had to update something though or I was going to lose my mind looking at this. So, accept this tiny parcel and I will be back with a vengeance with angst and fluff and Lightis kisses later.**

 **I am going to go lay down now.**

* * *

 **tumblr:** aranea-hi-ghwind **(this story is going to kill me I swear, RIP me)**


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